Hi wl allow me to introduce myself. I am tam. I would like to welcome you to Oasis. My friend you are not here by accident. You are here at this appointed time for a reason.
There are many here who have struggled as you are struggling. Tho we can not fix you here, you know the one who can and that would be Jesus Christ. You are all here to listen and encourage you. Would love to see you on Monday nights in the SOS program. Everything that is said there is kept in confidence.
I also agree that the counseling steps here would be a good place to start. Here is the link for them.
http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm
Check them out , I think you will be encourage and find some help in them. Know it is not easy but you can do it my friend.
God Bless you