confession

[xxJILLxx]

For the struggler with sex addiction, isolation is death. The only way to counter it is to be transparent with others on an ongoing basis. James 5:16 says:

"Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much"

and in Proverbs 28:13 we read:

"He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion."

We aren't meant to be lone stranger Christians. Lust is too big for us to whip on our own, and willpower doesn't work. The only way to dissolve the shame and begin the process of breaking free from sexual sin is to expose our failures, struggles and fears to others. We give sin more power over us when we try to hide it, so the James 5:16 way of life is the only way to deal with it.
We're all broken clay pots, and we need to live connected with others for life. The freedom to be broken liberates us from the slavery of sexual sin and shame and opens up a conduit where we can receive God's healing grace.
The James 5:16 way of life opens the door for deep friendships to develop, the David and Jonathan kind that every man wants but few find. When another man tells me "I made a big sale today" I think "good for you" and go on my way. But when he says "I'm hurting... I need help... my marriage is teetering on disaster," I'm blessed by his honesty, and his vulnerability encourages me to be transparent with him; as we encourage and support each other a bond begins to take form. This is how the body of Christ is meant to function.
Living connected with others replaces shame with confidence; fear with peace. When we're accepted for who are without being judged for our failures, the light of grace shows us that we're not the scum we'd mistakenly thought we were. Consistent accountability can be a wonderful preventative against sexual sin.
For complete freedom from lust, all isolation must be eliminated. Become aware of the stresses, circumstances and pleasures of life that set you on the path to isolation. If you feel yourself slipping into isolation, connect with God or a person.
For those who are single, realize that being alone is not the same as being isolated. To isolate means to "set apart from." When alone you can still find peace by communing with God, listening to uplifting music, reading a book, or exercising. Jesus often spent time alone with God, so a solitary life is not necessarily an isolated one.

So what does the James 5:16 life look like ?

Meeting with others once a week in a group that focuses on dealing with lust issues. Strength is in numbers.

If temptation hits and you feel yourself slipping, contact ry accountability partner. Don't try to fight lust alone or rely on your own strength. Breaking the isolation habit takes time, and you may need to make one phone call to a friend in yr area or a pm here to one of us, each day until you get on solid ground.

Cut off the stumbling blocks of lust in your life.
Matthew 5:29-30 says:

"If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell."

You're in an all-out war, and there are no neutral parties. If lust isn't killed you will be defeated; there's no prize for second place.
In practical terms this means that the porn stash gets burned. Ties to those who tempt you will have to be broken.
Whatever it takes, do it now. There must be no compromise cut off the stumbling blocks under your control or allow lust to keep taking you down. We live in a culture filled with sexual sewage, and the temptations aren't going to subside, it's going to get worse. Apathy is an open door for lust to take more territory.
Matthew 5:29-30 tells us that 100% of the responsibility to destroy the stumbling blocks of lust rest on our shoulders. There is no "powerlessness clause", and God isn't going to remove your porn stash or turn off the TV for you.

Deal with the roots driving your lust. Accountability and cutting off the stumbling blocks are the beginning to the process of finding freedom from sexual sin, not the end. The emptiness and pain in your heart that drive you to lust must be dealt with. Those who struggle with sex addiction have 3 things in common - they're isolated, they have father wound issues, and they haven't accepted God's grace in their heart. Sex addiction is the search for God's love in lust; the roots must be exposed and dealt with in order for the spiritual vacuum that feeds lust to be permanently shut off.

Keep Seeking God. Ask Him to reveal Himself to you and expose and remove the lies in your heart that keep you from accepting His grace. Ask Him to change your heart. The Lord changes lives, not programs, and He is willing to heal your heart. You're hungry for God's love, so go after the One you're hungry for.