Tam's Journal.....Tragedy to Triumph

[Tam]

Tuesday April 26

6:45 Chicken biscuit chocolate milk
12:15 porkchop baked, green beans and potatoes au gratin unsweet tea
6:00 baked pork chop water
9:00 sugar free popsicle

Sorry about my attitude in class tonight. No excuses for it.
Mood has been really crancky lately. Been having flashbacks and nightmare so thinking I am lackin on the sleep.
Sugars are still going haywire...but it is my fault and I know what to do to get them settled back down.
Thank you for all your support.
Love you guys!
Tam

[Deepsi]

You are going through a HUGE life-change, Tam. I have never met anyone who is like, "Yes, please uproot everything I have ever known and change it!" But like we talked about last night, this is a season. JUST a season.

Continue to journal and be honest with your moods. This will help you embrace what's been going on with you, with your new diagnosis, and eventually, it will help you turn towards God who WILL see you thru this!

Remember: the power that created the world, that healed the lame, that turned water into wine, that conquered death itself... it's in you! He's on YOUR side!

[Tam]

And Yes Deepsi I am not happy. Most people when they make changes to their lifestyles they do it gradually. Not expected to do it all at one time. Makes is easy to swallow. But when the rug is pulled out from under you and you are told to do it all at once...it is very overwhelming. But in time I will have to learn to accept it and just keep moving forward. Can't do anything else about it.
Just got back from a follow up dr. visit.
Going by the book and doing what I am suppose to do excluding a few days of not eatting as much,
numbers were off. Dr. was not happy so therefore upped my metformin and did some good fussing. What else am I suppose to do?
What am I doing wrong? Why is this not working for me like it is suppose to?
Oh well.... can all all the what's and why questions but is not going to change the fact that numbers are not what they should be. I told her that I am being honest in my journaling and in my eatting.
Will take new meds and just go from there.

On a good note....she was happy that i had lost 5 whole whopping pounds! yee ha! Yes I know that I should be happy with that and don't get me wrong I am some what..but considering the numbers not happy at all.
Ok there is your update!
Thanks

[Tam]

Arpil 27 Wednesday

6:45 Small chicken biscuit water fruit
9:45 granola bar water
12:00 arby's roast beef and unsweet tea
3:00 fiber bar water
6:00 grilled chicken sandwich and unsweet tea
water water water
Mood all day was UGH

[Tam]

THursday April 28

6:45 sausage biscuit/ fruit/ water
9:45 fiber bar water
12:45 taco salad and unsweet tea
3:45 fiber bar water
6:45 hot dog/ 10 baked ff/fruit and water
9:45 fiber bar

Mood all day was just kinda UGH

[Tam]

Friday April 29

6:45 Chicken biscuit and chocolate milk
9:45 Fiber bar and water
12:00 3 grilled chicken strips, coleslaw and unsweet tea
7:30 Hotdog and water
9:00 popsicle

Mood was really not to sprivey. Have adopted the I Don't Care attitude to be honest.

[Tam]

Saturday April 30

6:45 2whole wheat toast/peanutbutter 1/2 orange and water
9:45 Fiber bar
12:00 forgot lunch
2:45 forgot snack
6:30 Grilled chicken sandwich on wheat bread and grilled onions, sweetpotato fries and unsweet tea
9:00 Fiber bar

Mood all day was on the down side. Was busy working on moving mom's guest rooms and cleaning the carpet in the room and hall at the house we are getting

[Tam]

Sunday May 1

6:45 pb toast, orange and milk
9:45 to busy and forgot
12:45 forgot
2:00 had the shakes and sickish....ate a pb sandwich on wheat and an apple had water
6:00 grilled chicken sandwich with onion, lettuce, pickles unsweet tea
9:00 fiber bar


not sure how to explain mood very nervous, fearful, upset don't know what words would fit here today

[Tam]

Monday May 2
6:45 jimmy dean sausage biscuit and orange water
9:45 fiber bar
12:45 Salad with ham, chicken, egg, cheese, lettuce, onion. carrots, orange and Diet Dr. Pepper
4:30 fiber bar
6:30 grilled chicken , broccoli and cheese, water
9:00 fiber bar water

Mood today was guarded but ok

[Tam]

Tuesday May 3
6:45 cereal and fruit
went back to sleep after rise and shine so got off schedule today
12:30 krystal burgers and unsweet tea
4:00 fiber bar
6:30 chicken noodle soup, grilled cheese sandwich and diet dr. pepper
8:30 popsicle

Mood today was on the down side. But things were ok

[Deepsi]

Keep up the good work, Tam ... keep journaling!

Have you had the chance to look up any organizations for support groups?

Thanks for all your support as well ...

[Tam]

Wednesday May 4

Well today started out good but ended really bad.

6:45 2 pieces peanut butter toast and a orange and water
9:45 Fiber bar
12:30 meatloaf, cabbage and corn, unssweet tea
2:45 fiber bar
5:00 Chicken leg(fried but no crust) cole slaw and water
7:00 3 chicken legs, crust and all water
8:30 popsicle

Mood started out pretty good but went down hill from there. By night time it was really UGH.
Kept the praise going and tried to keep the good thoughts up