The Inner Child

[Tam]

Ok Pine. I think that right now you are gonna say that no one is understanding you.
Yes your addictions and habits flare up. That is normal. You are bigger than all of this and you can beat this.
Giving in to having one drink will only lead to another and another and another and you know that store. You know what all you have to lose it you do take that one drink durning the day.
FIght sis. You said a couple of days ago you had your fight back. Come out fighting sis.
Put that fight to work.
Love you

[Dora]

Ok Pine. I think that right now you are gonna say that no one is understanding you.

That is not true.


Plus I have not fallen into any habits or addictions today, because I know the guilt will be worse after.

[Tam]

I have not fallen into any habits or addictions today, because I know the guilt will be worse after.

I am so proud of you because I do know how hard that can be sis. I know that when things got really hard with me and I felt like I was being attacked from every angle...that is when I always reverted back to the cutting to feel like I had control agai.
Proud of ya sis!!!

[Dora]

THANKS! Support is what I need. And that is definitely support.

[Dora]

I apologize to those I was snippy to today. Including cubby. He is a good man to let me snip and yell and cry today with out trying to make me stop and with out making a joke to make me laugh so it'll all go away. Well at least he waiting till the end to try to make me laugh.

The things that are bubbling up are things I wouldn't visit. No way, no how! I left my counselor because they were to much. I've opened a lot of door to let Jesus in. I don't know why He wants to rummage through that yucky stuff, but He seems very eager to get into these ones. I've been telling Him no for months, knowing the day will come when the stuff inside grows so big it will be hard to keep the door shut. It's bursting at it's seems and seeping out. Seeping, just seeping. They aren't even opened yet. I'm afraid when they are opening I will be over taken. I already feel overcome.

I will not stop the progress. I'm just afraid of how far I'll fall while trying to deal with them and keep control of myself.

[goldieluvs]

Pine

I luv u my sister, i really do.....

sis, i gotta say, I may not fully have experienced the exact same things, but know that we have tread on some common ground. I will walk with you through this journey and i do believe it is a journey that in your heart, u see u must take. I am very happy to hear that someone didn't walk away, listened to it all and loves you. God does that too I struggle in my walk too sis. Part of me is afraid to be completely open and honest as far as my personal life goes here.

I would say that you r very brave and have such a huge heart for God. And in midst of all this.. minister to others...sis.... God is with you. ALWAYS. I know this in my heart to be true and so do you.

And oh those moments of peace like mountaintops.... Jesus leaving mountain top from visiting with God. Can you imagine the burden He must've carried with Him, coming back down to us... yet He did. Thank you Jesus. Enjoy those mountain top visits sis...... as O says, God is God... and we ain't.

i luv ya sis

[Dora]

The memories are surfacing rapidly.

My counselor is on vacation for two weeks.

I've made a decision to not talk to anyone about them unless they are educated in what to do with my extreme emotions and how to bring me back down to a calm state.

I called her yesterday even though she is on vacation. She wants me to call her every day and she is requesting I find someone who will pray with me daily.

I'm not sure if I can stay out of the hospital over these ones. It's really scary. I'm scared of myself. Please pray.

No advice! Please! If I hear one more person tell me to just renew my mind.....

[Christnundrconstruxn]

My dear sister pine
Please know I will pray for you every morning that God will ease your mind and allow YOU to control your thoughts and for you and God to get rid of all that holds you captive
Please just remember you are AWESOME!!! (I know 3 people that think that for sure)
1Jesus
2Cubby
3ME!!!
enough said!!
with much luv sis
Cuc

[Tam]

Make that 4......

Jesus
Cubby
CUc and
ME!!!!!!!!

[stillstanding]

add me to that list!

praying and praying!

love you oodles and thank you :D

[deetu]

Me too! or is that 5?

Father, I ask that you keep piney safe
let her remember to run to you, Lord thru the Holy Spirit with her questions
instead of trying to figure things out herself
let each trauma come out one at a time and let her get stronger with each victory
let the evil one not get any footholds during this time to distract her
and let her see how much she is loved buy not only You Lord, but all of us.
In Jesus' name I pray

[stillstanding]

AMEN!