Posted: Thu Nov 04, 2010 7:20 pm
Dancing with Him...sounds beautiful.
I am in a place right now where I hate the thought of Him looking at me...of Him seeing what I see. I am ashamed and afraid.
I feel so much like I am two people...the one who gets up and leaves the house everyday, that one appears to have everything together...then there is the other one, the one that is angry and hurt, confused and frustrated and alone, the one who is trying to pretend that none of those things are true.
I had actually already looked at the studies, before I even joined, but I just don't think I can do it. I know it is nothing more than words on a computer screen, words I can get rid of with the click of one button, and yet, the thought of doing it terrifies me. Silly, I know, but not any less the truth.
I am in a place right now where I hate the thought of Him looking at me...of Him seeing what I see. I am ashamed and afraid.
I feel so much like I am two people...the one who gets up and leaves the house everyday, that one appears to have everything together...then there is the other one, the one that is angry and hurt, confused and frustrated and alone, the one who is trying to pretend that none of those things are true.
I had actually already looked at the studies, before I even joined, but I just don't think I can do it. I know it is nothing more than words on a computer screen, words I can get rid of with the click of one button, and yet, the thought of doing it terrifies me. Silly, I know, but not any less the truth.