Springs, streams, and rushing rivers: whisp blog

[Whisperingsprings]

Either I'm delirious from all the caffine to stay awake and keep moving over the last several days, or I've been resurrected from my coffin.

Now I can rest in my bed for the next "until I wake up again" and off I'll go again.


Thanks for the prayers everyone.

Now for the accountability stuff.
Oldest child made rice one morning. Tried again today, but didn't remember the instructions. That's okay. I'm glad he tried. He walked the dog this morning and has been doing so every morning. (I call to instruct him to do so every morning before I come home from work.)

Think our youngest child is sick. He sounds congested. His birthday party is on Thursday. Hopefully, I won't fall asleep during the party, but I think that I probably will. I'm working the 2 nights before the party. We shall see. Either way, I think it will be okay.

Boys and dog look pretty good, so I am pleased. Enrolled the kids in VBS several weeks ago. All husband has to do is drop them off at the church.

Working as many days as I can stand in the next 2-3 weeks. I need to take time off work. Can't do so unless, I work alot of days. Soooo, I'll do what I need to do.

Spent sometime in prayer last night while at work. (on my break) That was definitely a good decision.

Now having problems with basic respect. This is definitely a problem. Hmmmm,

Otherwise, okay. goodnight everyone. thanks for the accountability

[mlg]

Sleep well my precious sister...as for the kiddos...they are gonna be just fine...cuz mom cares and she will help them grow as the Lord wants her to help them do.

As for the respect well that comes with time..

luv ya

[Whisperingsprings]

back to work tonight.

glad there is a Bible in the chapel.

Definitely will be praying tonight.

hugs everyone.

[mlg]

I hope you enjoyed your days off...time to get back to it. Spending time with the Lord is always the best.

luv ya

[Whisperingsprings]

ty.

Had 1 day off. Back on for 2.

Birthday party. Husband made all arrangements He did a good job with that.

How to handle the pornography though????? I don't know really. Not mine per se. That isn't my primary struggle. My struggle is lesbianism and emotional stuff. But I've not been into that so much I don't think.

His porn issues are increasing I think. I don't freak out with the men and porn issue that much. I get it and don't get all upset. I used to be really upset and was even suicidal the first time we went through this issue with his porn habit. Now not so much.

However, now that he isn't able to perform, I'm thinking that his use of porn is kinda odd. I think it's increasing and I'm not sure what to make of this.

Any feedback would be helpful.

[mlg]

Hey sis...maybe it's an emotional habit that he is feeding...instead of a physical one.

I know this is still difficult for you to know that both of you have sexual struggles, but just keep fighting off the temptations with Truth and God will be there for you. He offers a way out when we feel the temptation rise...

Prayers for you.

luv ya lots and lots

[Whisperingsprings]

hmmmmm . . . .

gotta sleep on that one a little more.

i agree somewhat. I do think there is something emotional there. I think it is easier for him to decompress as he uses it as an escape. It's easy.

It doesn't take too much to absorb you just sit and watch the show, . it isn't good for him, though. it's like over eating or anything else. at some point sickness begins. i think it began already.

but yeah, i do think it helps him to escape, which is emotional.

still trying to work out the rest in my head so that i can cope. i just don't want to be upset anymore. it's all distracting for me - the marriage and all it's issues, I mean.

I'm struggling at work. I think things are now a bit out of hand. I'm okay, don't get me wrong. I really am okay. I just want to cry sometimes and get upset.

will post my decisions later. gotta get some sleep

[mlg]

Go and rest sis

One more thing tears are ok...they help us cope...and they are healing.

My prayers continue for you.

luv ya lots

[Whisperingsprings]

mlg,

ty so very much for the prayers. It's helpful to see a response and know someone actually cared enugh to try to understand both sides of the situation.

I'm stepping away from the marriage, emotionally. The physical part was already broken. I'm honestly tired of the emotional part. It's so much of an investment and I've learned even here that men aren't interested in the marriage until it's either almost over or completely over. Even on FB I noticed that there was some marriage group or something and abouit 3/4ths of the responses were from women.

I've learned that men don't talk as loudly with their mouthes as they do with their actions. A woman's action will change with the moods until a certain point. Men are more constant - so what you see is pretty much whatcha gonna get. Both good and bad.

This isn't a men badgering statement or anything of that sort. It's not a post to berate men, etc. It's a sad post really.

Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. I wish I could say it were equal among men and women that marriage is treasured; but, the honest to goodness truth is that women used to treasure marriage more than men.

Men will post on fishing or muscles or stuff. But not heavy into marriage where the work is done. I wish I could say all my surfing on the internet has been in vane and all that I have watched observed, listened to and read, were in accurate; but alas it is not. And it is consistent.

Pray without ceasing . . . . Indeed it is the only way. Many women over time have been praying. Now many are losing their jobs, etc. Many are stay at home men. It's interesting. To watch them, when I'm out and about with my children, I mean.

mlg, have you ever done that??? I mean just sit and watch and listen to men????? It's very interesting. I've learned alot.

I'm grateful for my male friends on line. They have taught me tons. I have learned tons from watching their online behaviors. Reading their responses to various posts in different forums etc. Wow!!!! If nothing else, this has been a big eye opener for me.

Soooo, I've gained alot from this part of my journey.

Now then to move on. I will be looking for a women's single group online. Only for women who are raising their children alone. I don't want to fall into any pits, while out here. My husband as we are still legally married and do live in the same house is a nice man. Together, I think we can make good roomates. If I can just get my brain shifted, I'm good to go.

hugs, hon.

you've meant so much to me during this part of my journey. I'll still be around for certain. No need to go anywhere. I love the accountability here.

[mlg]

Yes sis I listen to men all the time...and then I listen to women discuss men...and it's so amazing how differently men and women think...I wanna share an example...my secretary and her husband are going on vacation soon...so they decided to set aside money each week out of their paychecks to go...so her hubby takes 400 out of his pay and goes and buys a walmart gift card...so then he comes home and tells my secretary what he did...and she says what on earth did you do that for...he said well I figured we could get gas on our way with the giftcard and any other necessities....my secretary says...how often do you see a walmart on an interstate?...she said they would run out of gas looking for a walmart but at first hubby didn't see it that way...he thought he was doing something good...when in reality he made their trip more difficult having to find a walmart in a town on their trip in which they have no idea where one may be...men think so differently than women...so strange.

luv ya sis

[Whisperingsprings]

hmmmmm,

mlg,
he actually had a brilliant idea. he did a good job. depending on where you live, you can very easily find Walmarts along the way.

The Larger Walmarts will also have food etc for them.

When you see your secretary, please please, tell her from me that he did very well indeed. Oh goodness, please encourage his behavior because he's trying to think ahead.

And please give him a hug from me. He did GREAT!!!!!!

whisp

P.S. Even if they were driving on the interstate they should still see Walmart signs. They would also be wise to plan ahead. If they are able to locate Sam's Club along the way, the card will pay for their gas also.

[mlg]

I'll let her know what you said...but I'm off today...so will be next week.

Hope you have a great day sis...you deserve one.

luv ya