Thinking About My Past

[Sylvia]

As a long time Chirstian I am now looking back on how I acted when I was using Alcohol to help me control my panic attacks. It now has been over 3 1/2 months of no alcohol. During this time, God has used me in some exciting new ways. A lot of the ways He is using me has to do what I have gone through. But I keep dwelling on the question of if I had been a better Christian and not turned to the alcohol would I have been used more then I was back then? Was I used at all for God back then? I remember times when I felt I had been used by God. But I also was dealing with a lot of self pity then. I hated how my life had changed. I felt I had lost my identity. Now I realize He has molded me and is using my past to help others. But I still dwell on the fact if I had not been so weak back then I could have been used more back then? Did I fail God? Does anyone make sense out of what I am saying?
thank you my friends and GBU

[realtmg]

Sylvia, Your post was written as it came from me. Wow. I will say this; Do not dwell in the past but don't forget about it either. I mean, look at St. Paul as he used to kill Christians and hated them. And then how God changed him.And there are others in the Bible that were just as you and I were in a different way. Now you can relate to me and to others and turn your past into opportunities to witness to people. I stayed down and depressed in self-pity because i knew better down deep and was in bondage to these habits. I used to say poor me and why I was an addicted person until I got so tired and depressed that God showed me that I could turn my bad into good.So He is going that to you now and satan wants you to carry guilt and ask why, why, to keep you off focus of our Lord.We are fighting a spiritual battle in which there is a study here pertaining to this. Listen, when I was asked to open up this Forum and to conduct a program dealing with these issues, there were few who were like me and you. Now, The door has opened up and there are lots of me's in Oasis now. God new what He was doing when He told Oasis to open up this Forum and Real Solutions program. It has grown so fast and so quick. We need people such as you to help share and give feedback, that there is no doubt that God opened the door for you to find us here. God is so amazing in how He works. Check out our programs and studies here as you will find lots of answers and grow closer to Him as what He wants you to do and feel. Thank You so much for sharing with us as it has blessed me and am sure it will bless others. Hope to see you at Real Solutions Program Wednesday night at 8 PM central. God Bless you my friend and your post was most needed. Thanks again sis. Luv ya. Real

[splash]

Hi Sylvia,
I have also agonized over the missed opportunities to serve God that came along when I was too engrossed in myself to see them. I'm convinced, however, that it is because of that very brokenness that God is able to use me to serve Him now. Remember, it's through the cracks in the vessel that the light of Jesus can show through and bring a glimmer of hope to others. Now I can forgive myself for my past knowing that God has used it for my good; and I thank God even for the bad things in my life that led me to cry out to him.