Life After Abuse Program from 7-28-08

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Getting out of the abusive situation is the first step toward healing and moving on in your life, but unfortunately your work doesn't end there. Once you are physically safe and secure, it is a good idea that you seek professional help for any abuse-related difficulties you may develop. For example, you may have difficulty coping with abuse memories themselves. You may also benefit from assistance in coping with problems that develop because you were abused, such as substance abuse problems, sexual or intimacy issues, anger issues, eating disorders, etc. Such problems may occur during your abuse period (as a means of coping with the abuse itself), or after the abuse period is over (as a means of coping with the abuse memories).

It is important to not blame yourself for having been abused, no matter what the circumstances of your abuse may have been. People tend to blame themselves for 'allowing' abuse to have happened to themselves. They may say things to themselves like, "He hit me because I was stupid and I deserved it", or, "I was a bad child and deserved what I got", or , "I'm ugly that's why he ignored me (or molested me)". Just because you say things like this to yourself doesn't make them true. Abuse is abuse it occurs when someone mistreats another person, ignoring their own wishes and dignity. You did not ask to be abused, and you probably had few ways to avoid it happening throughout most of the period the abuse occurred (if not all of it). Blaming the victim is common, but it doesn't make it a right or accurate thing to do. You are not to blame for having been abused.

Nobody deserves to be physically, sexually, or emotionally abused whether as an adult or as a child. Abusive people are unable or unwilling to control their worst appetites. They are psychologically ill and or medically ill. Abusers cause the problem of abuse they perpetrate abuse on those people around them. Abused people are not responsible for causing abuse, unless and until they become abusers themselves.

Overcoming abuse on your own is a difficult task, if not impossible. We need the Lord to help us through. If our Lord can calm the sea, imagine what He can do for your soul?

We also need each other. We can do it together. Matthew 18:19-20 If two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my father which is in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them.