ouch

[foreverHis]

ok i have moved on from all my abuse days..but not moved on from the pain i feel for others in the same situation..every now and again tho, i get this stabbing pain in my heart..when some one treats me in a negative way, so i guess i too need more healing, but i know that God heals,and he sets us free..but we do need one another to draw alongside and help , cause if we talk about it,and bring it out in the light, then satan cant use it t he same to torment us..he loses his grip on it..i kept it a secret for so long, i didn't know who i was any more, i was christian, a leader, and scared to even mention anything, if my husband ever found that i did..then it would be all on,.however slowly he began to show his true self to others, no more "mr. Nice Guy"..so the lord exposed what was happening , i didn't have to..no way did i ever want my marriage to end, i wanted us to be partners for life..but who was I? i was a puppet on a string..doing what i knew best..being or trying to keep peace in my home, for the sake of my four girls, to protect them and try to hide my cries from within from them, but of course they grow up, and then they could see, so yes, i have been abused pysically,financially,emotionally, mentally,sexually....i do know what it's like to see stars when beaten, i thought that was just a saying no way..ya see them
this is not for you all to feel for me..and there is more i could tell...unfaithfulness.lies...and this man went to church in his sunday best clothes and was a picture of a nice quiet family man..the one that saw so many years ago..until we were married
if anyone is reading this..please this is to help you understand that when someone gets hurt by you and its not intentional, its because they may be still have gaping wounds, and they are getting "hit" in the same place and because that wound is still raw..and where has has happened isn't any big deal..it just opens up that wound again...
thank you all..we will be free, cause God loves us.....

[flutemusic67]

Wow, sis. You really hit the nail on the head. It is very rare that I feel that old stabbing feeling. But when I do, it is usually triggered by certain charactistics similar to my prior situation. The most obvious one is men who are angry and physically threatening. By physically threatening, I do not mean making threatening gestures. I mean a stance, a look, or body language. Also, my ex-husband was very athletic and in excellent shape. He was much stronger than I and about 6 inches taller. Big guys intimidate me a lil bit. big guys. Don't holler at me and it'll be fine.

I am so happy that I left that nightmare marriage with my daughter. She did not grow up seeing her parents argue and her mother abused. She is a strong, loving, intelligent, and funny young lady. If we had stayed with her father, what would she be like? Would she drink, use drugs, sleep around, or have low self esteem? Probably at least one of them. Would she have been abused, eventually? Heaven forbid. God loved us so much, He found a way for us to leave. He gave me the strength, held me up with His love, and worked out all the circumstances.
He NEVER left our side. We are blessed.

Check out this link. It helped me heal many wounds.

http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm

God bless everyone! Stay strong in the Lord. He is strong for YOU.

[foreverHis]

yes my sis, i made the mistake of thinking its all my fault some how..and i should stay because I'm a christian,but yes, my daughters have all had their struggles, and i left rather late to leave, but i did love my husband, and couldn't ever think of a life without him, but sadly, it wasnt to be, i had to leave for my own safety...its myth that everyone grows out of this, some do,,but some don't...
even a pm closed in chat on ya can be like a slap in the face..and its roorts are from..who are you to talk to me...your no better than a dog..thats the way i thought of myself..my self esteem was nil
but now i'm climbing out the other side with the the help of our lord jesus Christ and the aqwesome ones he has sent into my life..God loves us

[foreverHis]

amen little one amen..thank you