Emptiness within

[killingMEsoftly]

When I was about eleven years old I began to gain weight. I was actually a skinny child up until then. Since then I've been big.
As I got into my mid-teens I started to battle it but I never really got anywhere and I could never figure out why. Part of it was that I never had anyone to do any of it with me or to push me or to cheer me on as far as eating better and exercising.
Two years ago when I got into my first relationship, I worked my butt of to get into shape but it didn't last any longer than the relationship did (6 months) because I was doing it to look good for him. I did lose quite a bit of weight and was feeling great but I slacked right back into my old routine of being virtually totally inactive most of the time and over eating. That's always been my problem; Over eating and being lazy. I'm not even much of a junk-food eater...rarely eat candy...don't eat out or drink soda...I just eat way too much. I eat when I'm feeling bad, when I'm bored, stressed, whatever. And I finally realized like literally yesterday, that I've been eating to fill the void within me. I've been eating to fill the emptiness...to quench any questions of why things happened to me...to drown the pain. And I suppose that I've always known this, I just buried the fact deep down with the food. Because to admit it and face it, means I have to stop and deal with the emptiness that I've been trying to fill and ignore. I'd have to stop relying on food to be my companion and actually let people in instead. That terrifies me...
Maybe with this admission I can once and for all get a hold on my eating, but fear is holding me back from wanting to try...I've never cared enough to try and always been to afraid to try. Trying is dealing with it and dealing with it is difficult and painful and so I shy away but I'm tired of doing that. I'm tired of living this way. And I'm tired of how I look.

[Zinnia]

KMS,
Admitting it is the first step. Yay! You did it!

I am also a stress eater. I find myself shoving food in anytime I am get stressed. My biggie is Pepsi! So bad for me!

A couple of ideas: get some cut up raw veggies and when you get in that munch mood, eat them! 400 calories of raw veggies will fill your stomach up all the way. 400 calories of bread or meat will fill it up less than half.

Or drink a full glass of water when you feel the urge to eat.

Kelp or spiralina are herbs that give you all the nutrients that you need. We feel like we want something to eat when our body is craving nutrients. Taking them as directed will help fill in the cracks and keep you from the cravings.

I would love to be your cheerleader as you start to drop those pounds. I need to lose some, too and could use an accountability person.

~K

[killingMEsoftly]

Well I very much appreciate the support and the tips!

I will deff keep more veggies in the house. I actually used to, I love to munch on carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, etc. What might you recommend for a dip or something for veggies? Because obviously I don't want to use ranch or anything but I sometimes like to have a little something on the veggies.
And I have started to try to curb my appetite with a glass of water either when I feel 'snacky' or before a meal so that I don't eat so much. And I will also look into the kelp and spiralina that you mentioned...if it will give my body what it needs and keep me from munching then I'll try it.
And anything I can do to help you, let me know. I'll do my best to help keep you accountable and on track as well

[Dora]

I like your quote "progress not perfection." I found this thought helpful when trying to eat healthier.

I'm thinking about what type of dip you might use and unfortunately the only thing I can think of a.t.m. is carmel!! That WON'T help! What about a low fat ranch? You might even add a little water to make it runnier so you eat less. Just a few thoughts.

I do know when craving sweets eating a pickle curbs the sugar crave. High is salt but better than a piece of cake.

Take care.

[killingMEsoftly]

Thanks, I read it in a magazine once and it always stuck with me.
And I will try that