I/we cannot be all things to everybody

[vahn]

After a long bout (20-25 yrs) struggling with staying clean-n-sober . - Note:The "struggle" is with recovery , and NOT with drinkin-n-drugging ... I drank and used just fine , it was the stopping and staying stopped that I was having problems with - But anyway . Finally , at my last attempt , which I am hoping will be the last , But for the Grace of our Lord , I KNOW it will , the pieces of the puzzle or at least the missing piece came together , through an extensive work and relationship with my sponsor .

See , at the beginning , and naturally so , I had , what I thought , a Million and a half "problem"s while every other newcomer had just 1 Million (I am unique you kno) , and I would pester my sponsons on just about every little thing under the sun that I deemed was "causing" me to pick-up , I mean , at one time I even called him because , and this not an exageration , my boot-lace snapped !! (well ok , I couldn't wear my boots to work ok ?) and , my sponsor , as patient and tolerant man that he was , would find just right word or tone of voice to "calm" me down , so to speak . Well ... ina bit while when he saw fit for me to start sponsoring others in return , almost always , like clockwork , in two month's time , I'd find myself drunk as a skunk !! I just simply could not put it together of what happened !!!

This last time , after finally doing a FEARLESS an MORAL (as opposed to immoral) inventory (weeding out the garden) which included the events preceding the relapses , we found out that my pattern had been the sense of failure . So , digging deeper (gotta get to the roots ) , we came about that hat I was doing with my sponsees , was that I was trying to emulate my sponsor in trying to give them answers to ALL their "whinings" the way my spons did with me , and I'd end up wracking my brains trying to find the right "stuff" , and in frustration I'd throw in the towel - yes , giving myself the good ole "you don't amount to nothing deal" -

Upon further discussion , he says to me "vahn , we can't be all things to everybody you kno , we are to give them the principles of recovery and tell them how WE recovered using those principles , the problem you have is that you get all tangled up in personalities rather than principles , you take everything personal and you end up loving them to the point where there is NO WAY you are not going to get hurt and you take your chances anyway , ... and you pay for it !!

After telling him that this is what he did with me ! took his time with every little issue I had , and went out of his way to step out the "principle" zone , and took everything personally with me and that he himself cared about me to the point where he was letting himself wide open getting hurt by seeing me relapse .
His reply was , "Do you remember the time when you told me that I was the only true father that you ever had ?" I said "yyeeaahh !?!" He said "Well vahn , you're the only true son that I ever had ." then he added "Just stick to the principles ok ?"


Our Father provided us with a set of Principles for us to stick with that will keep His flock close to each other and working together for the same Purpose , heading toward the same Direction , and that we ALL get PERSONAL with Him ONLY . And if we do this , then and only then this thing will operate as a UNIT , as in UNITY , as in ONE accord , as in we stand UNITED we tighten the loophole the enemy looking for to sneak in through , as in ONE BODY OF OUR LORD , THE CHRIST !!!

Principles before personalities .



In Christ , our Lord

[sbennett]

Principles before personalities......I like that phrase. One body seeking to follow the set of principles given to us by our Heavenly Father. Doing what God says to do....not what I want to do.

Thanks vahn.

[vahn]

Doing what God says to do....not what I want to do.

Indeed SBennett , but I also am thinking that our Lord wants us to go further than that , here's what I mean .Let us take your quote above , and if we were to shuffle it around a bit , and add the "principle before personality" to it , this is what I come up with .

"I want to do what God says to do...." Naturally , I need to hear what He wants first right ?

Seek the Kingdom first , and all things shall come to pass . God IS Principle .




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Another benefit to be reaped by putting principles above personalities is accomplished by practising to place or separate the person from the issue(s) ;

Listen to WHAT being said , rather than WHO is saying it .



In Christ , our Lord

[sbennett]

ok....HUGE light bulb here dude. The part about listening to WHAT is being said rather than who is saying it....that really hit home.

God is speaking to me here....thanks for being the vessel.

[realtmg]

Amen!

[momof3]

......and Amen again!