today 8 january

[Whisperingsprings]

goodmorning or goodafternoon or goodevening - depending on where you live,

it is morning my time. i've been awake for a while and already the morning has started in the pit. i didn't manage to get here and stay here while on line if ya get my meaning.

here is where i would like to but refuse to break out in cursing.

honestly, i'm too old to be doing this. geez!!!!!

so after smacking straight on my face, i called my gf who helps me with accountability - obviously internet accountability didn't work the first time this morning, ya know what i mean?

so i called my friend and confessed my sins. not everyone in detail, heck who wants to hear all that drama. but i let her know that i need to be able to talk and she was great with it.

we prayed and i felt a bit better. but not just because we prayed.

i told her all the stuff that was bothering me. she and i have been friends for many years, she knows how my emotions change and has been with me through my wedding, birth of kids, diagnoses, etc. she knows what my home is like, what my marriage is like. heck, we are very transparent so she knows everything . . . i mean everything. so she understood. she understood why i am stressed. she understands why i cry or almost cry. she understood why, i went to find comfort in something that can't offer permanent comfort.

we're different religions with different views. we don't see eye to eye on parenting, or politics. we don't always eye to eye on home life or hobbies either. But, we are close. We see eye to eye on pain, suffering, and love that God offers.

So with that, and prayer: i finished feeding my children breakfast. I weighed my children this morning to see our progress. I weighed myself as well. I gave the kids their morning duties-hanging up their pants and feeding the dog. And now I am starting my day over again. Only this time, i'm not wandering around on the internet.

I have a bible study book somewhere here in my home. i'm going to find it. do a page or two and go back to bed. will post again later if i need to.