Christianity Oasis Forum

[josinella]

Hello brothers and sisters:

I have been offline for a while and thought I would get recommitted to doing His work. I picked up on Day 9 and 10. It is interesting because of certain life events I am coincidentally experiencing.

I retook the "Many Called, Few Chosen " test to see if anything had changed. I think I scored higher than before but a couple of thoughts hit me after testing. There was a question that asked what animal I thought that I was. I answered: "lamb". I have also been reading Psalms, a book that I thought I would be bored with but surprisingly not.

Here is what I feel the Spirit left on my heart. I question my faith a lot, especially in the mist of sin. However, "lamb", even though I feel called, places me no better than those God puts in my path to help. I wasn't really thinking about the significance of this until the Holy Spirit left it on me to help me through present times. He let me know that I don't exalt myself above others in His service. I don't think I am better than others, and I don't want to judge, hurt or cause someone to turn against God because of my actions knowingly or unknowingly. This is a frequent prayer that I have asked God's forgiveness because I don't know how I come across to people. Let Go, Let God is hard.

Secondly, Psalms. Why did God love David so much in the mist of sin, depression, slips of faith, etc? I have come to know that Psalms is the ups and downs we all face as saints. God loved David because, even in the mist of sin, he called upon God, repented, and uplifted God in all he did. Psalms is a journal or diary of living faith. People tend to dwell on one aspect or another of Psalms instead of looking at it in totale. Which leads me to my original point. Whether we reveal it or not, we all sin and we are ALL mere sheep!

None of us are out of God's perfect realm and there is only one sin that separates us from Him. Why do we make it so hard for others to come to know Him? Have we forgotten when we were lost? I understand what the Bible means by remnant and it is scary. I have also come to appreciate the significance of letting go of secret things, and to truly follow Him, and only Him.

I know I live a sinner's life, but I feel blessed, I feel His favor and I am coming to truly know Him. I remember a time when it was hard for me to pray with others. It comes easy now because I feel His presence, a union with Him that I didn't have before. It is in this union that His work is done, from a willing heart, a sinner's heart.

[mlg]

Hey Josinella so good to see you sis! Wow I've tried to answer your post 3 different times...but I've always ran out of time. Weird.

I think one thing we have to remember in our calling IS the fact that we ARE all sinners saved by grace...and none of us deserve that grace but it comes to us only through God's love. Once we know that then we will never exhalt ourselves above another and we will remain humble in knowing that the enemy is looking to stop us through sin. We don't have to be a prisoner to that sin though as we can look to Jesus each and every time we fall...offering us an opportunity to get back up and begin anew.

I'm so happy you are back sis...I've missed you.

luv ya

[josinella]

I have been away again. I have been busy and trying to figure out what it is that God wants me to do. I got married this weekend to a man that I know that God sent. I have every reason to be happy but I am down. I feel His presence but I don't know what it is that He wants me to do. There is a lot going on at the church I was attending, a very negative presence and people are leaving in droves. The monthly budget has dropped $6K. We don't have a senior pastor.

I feel overwhelmed because I have been going to the church I previously went to. They need a musician, which I am. I haven't played in a while and I want to. I just feel that I am not good enough, or because I am not good enough, it is not my calling. Somehow I know that Satan is holding me back. I guess I need to speak my peace at the former church and walk with God. I just hate leaving because I feel that there is a spiritual battle there and I don't want to leave my brothers and sisters there to fight it without me.

[josinella]

To MLG:

I just reread your post. Not much has changed and I was going to post something totally different. But, God wanted me near to hear what you had to say. He has been calling me, to let me know that I have no control over others. If they chose to live in sin, despite all that I do, that it is their choice. And I don't have to follow them in sin. I think this is the key to my unhappiness. I take responsibility in other's sin. I need to pray for them, totally give it to God, and walk in His light.

[mlg]

Hi there Good hearing from you!

So, you finally are beginning to see that you have to leave others and their actions of sin between them and God. It doesn't mean you can't set a good example for them to follow...a Godly one...because you can...but you also have to know you can't save the world...that is Jesus place....so prayer and lead by example that would be where I would begin with these souls who are falling into sin.

Take care of yourself.

luv ya

[josinella]

It's really good hearing from you and thanks for your response. At 54yo, I continue to learn by staying closer to the Source.

[josinella]

Today I feel a renewed joy and freedom in Him! Thanks Father God for your love, graciousness and patience with me.

[josinella]

Something to be said about wandering from the "Source". It's been a while since I have written, but I have been reading and attending church as much as I can. I'm in the mist of trials & tribulations, my "wilderness". When I thought to post here, I really wanted empathy and feedback. However, I hear His voice, once again, telling me to "let it go", none of this is beyond Him, He knows my pain. That's enough for me because I know He will "bring it" as the kids say. This is where I am in my faithwalk With Him. I could write volumes about why I am in the situation that I am in but I feel His presence and know there is a plan. I have to submit and follow Him. I remember a time I would spend months/years questioning God's wisdom and making worldly decisions. But I have witnessed too often how powerful and everlasting His solutions to problems can be not to waste time taking control of my own life. I want to Praise God for all he has done, is doing and will do in my life for His glory! I pray that when i am Called to silence, I will submit; when I am Called to speak that I will invite the in-dwelling of the Holy Spirit; when I am Called to action, I will put on the Full Armor of God in the "mist" to glorify Him. Amen