Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Hello, guys. I'm an open book. So, I'll share how I'm feeling today.

I watch Rick Warren's sermons online, and the guest pastor talked about miracles today. He mentioned friends and all of that. And that is when I started thinking about my ex friend again. I've heard from another friend that he's gotten over me, and that's good. I've not gotten over him(ex friend) because this person that told me keeps bringing up my ex friend all the time. I need to tell him that we need to NOT talk about my ex friend anymore. I'm gonna call him on Tuesday night and basically tell him,"look, we are not going to talk about so and so anymore. Are you ok with that?" They are going to have to be okay with it. It's getting annoying. I don't talk/think about my ex friend other than Tuesday nights when I'm talking to my friend. That's the good part.

I'm on another site/app called Chatmeup.com, and they are very sweet to me and understand all of my problems. I don't bring this issue up, because I've brought it up multiple times, and I think people are sick of it. I WAS banned from a forum called talkjesus this past week, and it was because of my stubborn attitude. I thought you ask for advice, consider it, then either take it, or not? That's what I did. I'm done being on forums.

I'm an angry person. I get mad when the phone rings, mad at my family, just mad in general. So, I'm trying to work on it. But, I want to work I this problem first and foremost.

Sometimes being logical can help. Thinking, okay - what happens if I do get mad? What happens if I don't? I had a friend who would have rip roaring temper tantrums. One day the friend destroyed something I cared about and so I had a rip roaring temper tantrum. I did it when nobody was around. I wanted to see if it helped. It didn't. It didn't make me feel any better in any way, but it did make me feel foolish.

So, sometimes if you will stop and think about what would happen each way - even if it is afterwards and it is too late - that will help you to change and to get control. A lot of times all it takes is going to the bathroom and running some water for a while. And then you can do what will make you feel better in the long run. Sometimes if you just leave the forum. You can tell them later that you went to the bathroom if they pry - they probably won't. And it will be true.

They banned me from the forum because I told them to. I felt like they were requiring me to heed their advice, and that's not how it is supposed to go. You ask for the advice, then decide if it's advice you feel comfortable taking to heart. They just hated me talking about this friend issue all the time in multiple threads. But not here. I can talk about it and have you guys try to help without judging me. And I like that.

I have grown kids. I get mad if I ever feel they don't listen - but as long as I know they have really, truly heard me - I'm fine. They know that. And they do really listen - ask questions or tell me why they disagree or let me know they've researched it themselves. So then I'm good, they're good and we all get along fine no matter what they decide.

Ideally a person researches, asks advice, prays, waits for peace, and makes a great decision. And the great decision for one person might be very different from the great decision for somebody else.

I do wonder though if maybe you don't need to mend this fence. I really feel like I don't know, and probably can't know, the whole situation - but the fact that you are so very bothered so long after makes me think that maybe it is time to make up with your friend. Maybe it is time to go and sit down with him and his mother and figure out how you can be friends. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she wasn't willing to let you be friends if you all sat down together and talked about some ground rules. And if she won't then, at his age, maybe he needs you even more. I know you are still bothered - would you please ask God about this? Sometimes God keeps us bothered when we aren't going the right way - maybe dumps us in the water to be swallowed by a giant fish. .

My ex friend lives 2300 miles away, and she doesn't trust me one bit. I made a list one time that told him what he could/couldn't do when we were on the phone. So, I'm moving on. Truly I am. I'm doing the course and am learning to forget this issue. It's not an overnight thing. I'll forget about it over time.