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Day one

PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 1:49 am
by branches
I have had trouble sleeping for the last few nights, not sure why, except i am worried about my money situation as well as being ticked off at my husband who is keeping our finances separate and doesn't offer to help me when I run short on money. A lot of the time i want out of this marriage but he is a good guy at heart i think. I am not entirely sure if we loved each other, I'm pretty sure I didn't love him but was in love with the idea that he loved me, now I am not sure he does. I am having difficulties adjusting to this life, I have not had pets in the house and there are 4 here, I haven't lived with a family since 1999, and his daughter and 2 kids live here, (and they are here to stay) i wish it was just me and him, however I was hurt so bad by the guy I dated before I am not sure i can even feel love anymore. Anyway I am disappointed with myself, with my life with him and with God,, I pray but it doesnt seem like God will answer. I feel like I have sinned too much for that to happen, I am also keeping a secret from my husband. My last husband gave me herpes. We dont have sex so I am not afraid of him catching it plus I dont have symptoms. I am depressed, eating a lot, cant sleep, dont want to do anything ... I am a mess most days. That is my thoughts today.

Re: Day one

PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 6:49 am
by dema
Wow! You have a lot on your mind.

Answers are in the peace. But you don't seem to have a lot of that. It is often recommended to get up early in the morning in order to have devotionals - that seems to be the most peaceful time of the day. I'm glad you are doing the study. Please consider how you can find a time to be quiet with God.

Married without intimacy? He should know about the herpes. Intimacy is good for a marriage. But I think that maybe this issue isn't as urgent as you finding peace.

Re: Day one

PostPosted: Wed Jan 21, 2015 7:59 pm
by Dora
Hello Branches Sis *hug*

I'm sorry you are going through so much right now.

This counseling program has helped many. Myself included. I hope you stick with it each day. Don't just float over the words but take each one into consideration.

I hope your spouse is helping with the bills or else you are carrying him and his kids and that's not ok. He needs to carry his load and the load of his own children.

I'm praying for you. There's a lot that needs to be fixed in your life but the most important is your feelings towards God. He loves you. He's there for you. He cares about each and every thing in your life. Your future and your past and even moment in between. Even when you don't feel it. He's there and He cares more than anyone who's ever loved you.

You can do this! With Him you can do this! *Pray*