Christianity Oasis Forum

[marnigal]

Some of the things said in this stepping stone sent me hurtling into depression. I searched the forums a little bit for someone else who did these steps and they are hard to find. Maybe there is someone who went through these steps who can help?

One thing that God has shown me is that I'm safe in His presence. That means I get to be real with Him and my emotions. I'm not saying that I get to do whatever I want based on those emotions; I just get to go to Him and say, "I'm so sad", or "I'm so angry", or "I'm so discouraged" and I'm safe. I understand why the content is copyrighted as someone invested a great deal of time here, but I wish I could copy and past here with the statements that upset me! One was that it is not ok to allow our emotions, it is not ok to accept them, that this is not the Christian way. This bothers me so much! I don't think it is ok to act carelessly on our emotions, but to not acknowledge them is to not be human. It'll choke us up and either cause depression or to play the fake-game. I felt like stepping stone 5 was smashing me with all the things that could possibly be wrong with me (anger, revenge, ...), and to completely kick me when I was down, it states, "I AM SELFISH". At the start of this program, I was searching for who created this site, and basically it remains anonymous and that this is led by the Holy Spirit. It did not feel like the Holy Spirit when I was read those statements. The last few days, I am paranoid and wondering if my every action is selfish or not. This step ends with basically telling me to admit all these problems. It felt awful. Like I can't handle or know all that could possibly be wrong with me. It was a horrid stumbling block; like I don't know God's voice, that there's so much wrong with me. This step felt like it planted a bunch of weeds. This is one thing that has bothered me so much about Christianity, that others in leadership push us to look for something wrong we're doing to go ask for forgiveness for ... yet, there was no prompt by God Himself to teach me corrections.

Worse yet, I followed one of the links in this step and the Bible story was about how a man was granted forgiveness of His debt yet went off an punished someone else who owed Him. Then this man was cast out of his master's presence and put in jail. There's the odd story in the Bible how God will chuck someone out if they don't 'do their job' ... like investing their talents, or demonstrating forgiveness. But what terrifies me is that it makes me feel like God can't be trusted, that somehow if I don't measure up or don't follow through or there is something I'm doing wrong, He will cast me away. It says He is slow to anger, but all I see when I read that is that He still gets angry. What is I'm doing something wrong or don't know it? What if I was supposed to have done something and I didn't because I didn't know? That God is unpredictable and will flash out His anger at me when I didn't do something I was supposed, or that I don't know His voice and didn't recognize what I was supposed to do. I am pretty sure this ties back to my relationship with my own Dad, but it's all I know, and I'm writing this out because I want to know different. I want to believe in God's mercy and that I'm safe there ... but how can I be if He still chucks people out of His presence if they screw up?

[dema]

You can quote copyrighted material as long as you quote it, state where you got it, and don't take the whole thing. And from this site you can quote anything you like. That's what the journaling is for.

I just went back through the lesson. Stepping Stone 5 is about not letting your emotions CONTROL you. The verses on anger are about being slow to anger and not letting it stay.

It is totally okay to allow your emotions. Jesus had emotions. He wept, he got angry.

I know a lady who calls what many Christians do "Drinking the Jesus Juice". When something is wrong, just drink the Jesus juice and it will be okay and we don't have to deal with it.

Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted"

If you don't have emotions, why do you need a comforter?

There is a time to weep.

I think maybe this was a trigger. From past people who have put you off when you had a problem. Many people don't want to deal. They don't want to deal with themselves or others. They want Christianity and life to be easy and by formula. It is lazy. And it is wrong.

If you break an arm, you go to the doctor. You get it set.

If you break down emotionally, you need help. The hurt is just as real.

You can be a hypochondriac physically or emotionally. You can refuse to get up and walk on a healed leg bone. But you don't walk too soon. You let it heal.

Hurt requires going through the emotions. Not staying indefinitely, but working through them. Being sad, acknowledging how you were hurt, being angry. And forgiving - which is letting go. Giving it to God. It isn't going back for more abuse. Sexual abuse can take years to mostly get through. Scars will remain. The healing process will continue to need to be repeated at longer and longer intervals lasting shorter and shorter periods of time for life if a person was severely abused as a child. But the periods of feeling happy and healthy and enjoying life will get longer and longer.

There are triggers. Triggers should be acknowledged.

When you hide and refuse to allow yourself emotion there is a price to pay. Maybe you don't feel anything. Sometimes things don't even taste or smell good for people who are really locked up emotionally. There are behaviors - eating too much, rituals, mannerisms, cutting, not eating. And these people, really, really spurt the Jesus Juice. They can't deal with anything. So they smile, act proper, sometimes get silently outraged at others and make them uncomfortable, and spurt Jesus Juice.

Many, many people who preach against emotional recovery are themselves all locked up like this.

Or they are just plain scared of life and don't want to deal. Just because a person isn't a Christian doesn't mean they are a saint. Or have saintly behavior. Or know much of anything. Salvation is simple. The Christian walk takes work. And some people just don't want to work. Including people who can talk a good talk.

But there are people who live in anger. And they never move on. They live by their emotions, without self-control. And that is wrong too. The Bible teaches moderation. Self-control is important, moving on is important, dealing is also important.

Hope this helps.

[marnigal]

I understand that you can quote other people's work as long as you reference it, but this site would not allow me to copy and paste. That's the trouble I had.

Your response does help, ty for taking the time! It's good to get confirmation that it is ok to deal with our emotions. I told God in my last re-commitment with him that it's gotta be real.

I grew up feeling like a misfit, without feeling validated for who I am (feelings and all). For being misjudged and having others' judgments being shoved in my face. This stepping stone was a trigger for me in a few different ways. Fake Christians, is God safe, and Christian leaders trying to get people to confess something that a person does not need to (at that point in their life ... maybe somewhere else along the road, but no need right now). Kind of like telling me to confess and repent for being selfish when at that point in my life I just don't need to!

I like that moderation idea, it makes sense.

[dema]

Sometimes the pushy people telling you the wrong thing really are sincere. All the more frustrating. I used to argue and try to get them to see. Not anymore. Sometimes I'll ask, "And how do you put that together with this scripture?" And give them a scripture. Answer is likely to be, "Well, it does, that's all."



God loves them too. And God loves you too. Gets complicated I guess.

Hope you are working through whatever emotions are bothering you. Let me know if I can help.