STEPPING STONE TWO
Posted: Wed Jan 22, 2014 11:08 amI’ve got a lot of weeds to pull out of my garden. This is surely not an easy task but, I do
believe it can be done! I just need to do it exactly like prescribed…one day at a time while continuing to
feed myself with the Word of God! I remember doing just that and how much in Love I was with Jesus.
It was the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole 47 years. But, I messed up and boy when I mess up it’s a
doozy! When my husband left me after 25 years of marriage I became severely depressed but, no one
had a clue. Instead of letting go and letting God I needed to understand why? I needed to understand
because first, he is 64 years old, much older than me and it was very obvious to others. He looked worn
out, extremely old while I was not aging and looked better than ever. Second, I did everything for him. I
turned out to be the best wife he ever had…yes, he had been previously married. I was his 3rd wife; our
son was his 6th child. What was he thinking? The depression kicked in and I stopped feeding myself the
Word of God! This is the beginning of my many bad decisions. I started to feel it was me and felt like a
failure. I began to rebel against myself by having multiple affairs with all kinds of men, getting myself in
deeper financial debts, drinking heavily, and taking lots of narcotics. I lied to everyone about everything
including myself. I did this for about a year & half and when I tried to stop I couldn’t. I’ve lost my home,
my job, and my credit is shot because I’m unable to pay my debts. The thing that gets me is that I
brought all this upon myself and I can accept that but, where is everyone that I’ve helped (family &
friends)? When life was good, I gave freely all the time but no one is around when I need them. This
hurts really badly and believe it or not, it hurts worse than being homeless, jobless, & penniless. After
losing everything, I’ve started looking up and asking God to help me when of course the devil has to
throw more stuff at you to keep you from doing just that. …hence the rut I find myself in!!!! Although
I’m not strong enough to deal with all this, I know God can. I know I need to take it one day at a time
and I need to change my thoughts. I’m thankful for this website because you sure know how to break it
down, keep it real while showing God’s love! I feel the Holy Spirit every time I come on here to feed my
soul with the Word!!!! Thank you.
believe it can be done! I just need to do it exactly like prescribed…one day at a time while continuing to
feed myself with the Word of God! I remember doing just that and how much in Love I was with Jesus.
It was the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole 47 years. But, I messed up and boy when I mess up it’s a
doozy! When my husband left me after 25 years of marriage I became severely depressed but, no one
had a clue. Instead of letting go and letting God I needed to understand why? I needed to understand
because first, he is 64 years old, much older than me and it was very obvious to others. He looked worn
out, extremely old while I was not aging and looked better than ever. Second, I did everything for him. I
turned out to be the best wife he ever had…yes, he had been previously married. I was his 3rd wife; our
son was his 6th child. What was he thinking? The depression kicked in and I stopped feeding myself the
Word of God! This is the beginning of my many bad decisions. I started to feel it was me and felt like a
failure. I began to rebel against myself by having multiple affairs with all kinds of men, getting myself in
deeper financial debts, drinking heavily, and taking lots of narcotics. I lied to everyone about everything
including myself. I did this for about a year & half and when I tried to stop I couldn’t. I’ve lost my home,
my job, and my credit is shot because I’m unable to pay my debts. The thing that gets me is that I
brought all this upon myself and I can accept that but, where is everyone that I’ve helped (family &
friends)? When life was good, I gave freely all the time but no one is around when I need them. This
hurts really badly and believe it or not, it hurts worse than being homeless, jobless, & penniless. After
losing everything, I’ve started looking up and asking God to help me when of course the devil has to
throw more stuff at you to keep you from doing just that. …hence the rut I find myself in!!!! Although
I’m not strong enough to deal with all this, I know God can. I know I need to take it one day at a time
and I need to change my thoughts. I’m thankful for this website because you sure know how to break it
down, keep it real while showing God’s love! I feel the Holy Spirit every time I come on here to feed my
soul with the Word!!!! Thank you.