Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

I have been through so much in my life and I used to be so close to God. A lot of stuff has happened but something that has been troubling me lately is the fact that I used to be an exotic dancer. After two failed relationships and a rejection letter from nursing school, I was left in a complicated situation. The economy was tough and I was only able to get a job that offered me 12 hours a week as a home care aide. My parents could not afford to help me pay my bills but would never let me go hungry. After countless interviews and weeks upon weeks of waiting, my bills were piling up. I didn't really want to but I knew a place that was always hiring. A strip club. I went in during the day and spoke to the owner. I finally had a job even though it was not was I wanted to do. The first few nights were not that bad as the choice for full nudity was up to me. I met a girl there and she informed me of how things really work. Most money was made by getting guys to go upstairs for sexual favors. Which explained how guys spoke my first few days. I was unaware of these things. So here I was broke, unable to get a decent job with rent and other bills due. As I'm sure you've guessed, I completely degraded myself and my faith. I did things that I would never even think of doing. Even though I was in such a low state, I kept praying for something to happen. I finally got out of that place after just a couple months. I am doing much better and I'm in school, but I still feel so burdened by my sins and I've wanted to talk to someone but it is so embarassing. I thought of talking to my pastor at the church I used to frequent, but I hate for anyone to know what I've done. I know what I did was wrong and I have prayed for forgiveness, but will I really be forgiven? Will these feelings that haunt me go away? I just need some comfort. I know that holy spirit is trying to reach out to me but I feel like the devil is trying to keep me away from happiness and from being close with God again.

The most important thing you need to learn to do is be true to yourself and forgive yourself. Don't try so hard to ignore or forget the past but accept it, embrace it, and learn from it for it is your history and there is nothing you can do to change that. It will play a huge part in making you the person God created you to be. You will always have people in your life, (Society) that will judge you, shun you, reject you, call you names, perhaps even spit on you and look down on you. But you have to remember that God, the only one who can justifiably look down on you never will. instead he sent his son from above to meet you at your level and walked the earth as you do and to shed his blood so that you can be forgiven. You can believe that you indeed are forgiven because otherwise Jesus' sacrifice would have been in vein and God would never have sent his son to die in vein.

Be true to yourself and be true to God, and don't worry about what other people think for they are not the ones who gave their life for you.

Hello wvgirl,

Forgiveness....it is freely given if you ask for it with a truly repentant heart....and you do so believing that Jesus is the Son of God who died on the cross so that your sins could be forgiven. Pretty simple huh? That's why it's often so hard for people to believe their sins are forgiven, because it is so simple. See God isn't looking for ways to keep us out of Heaven....He's looking for ways to get us into Heaven....and hence he sent Jesus to us. God knew that people were sinful...because we are human....and we have a sinful nature that fights with us all the time. God knew that the only way for people to be able to push past this sinful nature would be through Jesus...His Son.

Now....I think the hard part for you is forgiving yourself....and accepting God's forgiveness. See Satan has found a weakness inside of you and that is your past....and Satan wants to use your past to keep you down...and to not allow you to reach your full potential of a relationship with God. But, honestly God's forgiveness is given freely and with mercy. God loves you so very much and He wants you to push past the past and start living that new life you are now working so hard at. Don't give up...hang in there....Let the past go, accept God's forgiveness, forgive yourself and Let God guide your path.

Take care and God Bless

Christ died for our sins. They must be pretty big sins then, right? God loves you so much. Jesus hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors.

God LOVES you. Really. Please accept his forgiveness.

If Jesus forgives any sin he forgives all sin. Shame is Satan's tool. You are new creation in Christ. Read Jesus's reaction to the women he encountered that had been taken advantage of (and regardless of your consent I do view that as maltreatment). If he was in front of you I expect he would have nothing to say beyond I love you, as he hugged his beloved daughter.