Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

hi everyone im back. u probley wont remember me cause I been gone awhile. I failed myself again. im back at zero . startin from the bottom always seem so dark empty and cold. I hate myself and my life right now. please pray for me I want my life back

welcome back!!

prayers going up!

Welcome back. Have you done cccc in counseling? Do you want to tell us about your struggle? What was your name before?

Glad to have you back.

Hi again. I looked you up. I went through many of your posts. What I saw is that you went through the cccc program but you never really talked about yourself. You love your kids. You've had a problem with alcohol, you have been emotionally abused.

I wonder if you don't have an awful lot bottled up inside of you. I wonder if you aren't being pursued by the lies that say that people won't accept you if they know what you've done. I wonder if you aren't blaming yourself for a lot of things that aren't your fault.

I have found that many people will blame themselves for being worse than an ax murderer because they yelled at their kid before breakfast. So many people blame themselves and won't confess to sins and imagined sins that are much smaller than the ones they are reading from other people.

I wonder if your difficulty with the alcohol has to do with the fact that you won't or can't talk about your pain. It doesn't tend to go away unless it is drug out and discussed and the self-blame let go. Most of the time, the majority of the blame isn't yours at all. But even if it is, Christ died for your sins. Even if you are the ax murderer - you are forgiven if you accept the sacrifice of Christ. No matter what you have done - you are forgiven if you let the blood of Jesus wash you clean.

But most of us need to reveal what we have done and let someone tell us over and over that yes, Jesus really meant me. He did, he meant me. I personally am loved by God enough for him to sacrifice his Son for me. Yes, really, I am forgiven. Yes, my mistakes are really, really forgiven.

And additionally, it helps to be told that it wasn't your fault if you husband spat in your face. Real men don't spit in women's faces. A man who does that is sick. etc. etc. It helps to hear that too.

But we cannot tell you what you need to hear unless you tell us what is weighing you down and keeping you in a prison where alcohol seems to be the only escape. Did you kill a child in a car accident? You are forgiven. Whatever you did - you are forgiven. WhatEVER it was - accept the blood of Jesus.

God bless you.