Jennifer's journal 3rd day
Posted: Thu Jul 04, 2013 4:07 pm
Haha! I liked that, only the worm is free from stumbling. I don't want to be a worm. I've been one before, and I got stepped on all the time.
Not much to write I guess. I'm so sick of hope. The Bible verse keeps going through my mind: hope deferred makes the heart sick. My heart is sick and tired. I'm doing this 14 day thing, and I'm trying not to hope it will help because if it doesn't then what? But I'm doing this anyway. I know my brain needs changing, and I'm probably making lousy decisions. And yeah, I know that sometimes bad things happen that God allows. But He knows what He's doing. But I've been making some really really good decisions too, and nothing good is coming from them. I still trust in God, but I don't know who God is. He's love, but I don't know that love. I mean I'm saved and all, but how do I know His love when I've never known love. What truly is love? I've studied I Cor 13. I want that love in my life.
Not much to write I guess. I'm so sick of hope. The Bible verse keeps going through my mind: hope deferred makes the heart sick. My heart is sick and tired. I'm doing this 14 day thing, and I'm trying not to hope it will help because if it doesn't then what? But I'm doing this anyway. I know my brain needs changing, and I'm probably making lousy decisions. And yeah, I know that sometimes bad things happen that God allows. But He knows what He's doing. But I've been making some really really good decisions too, and nothing good is coming from them. I still trust in God, but I don't know who God is. He's love, but I don't know that love. I mean I'm saved and all, but how do I know His love when I've never known love. What truly is love? I've studied I Cor 13. I want that love in my life.