Step one of this journal
Posted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 3:50 pmI am 37 and from North Carolina. I have a high functioning form or autism called Asperger's Syndrone. It's a long story but I was sexually abused as a kid by my stepfather who was an alcoholic and behavior problems developed out of that, aggravated by my autism (it wasn't until 1999 just after he died I was diagnosed with AS). In a nutshell, there was foster care and lashing out that got me put in a psych ward at 11. Then I was raped again twice by the same man at 13 when I came back to my family. Finally at 17, I told about what was done to me. He never went to jail and I had tried to kill him twice, even having a friend from elementary school cast a spell on him despite me being a Christian. I didn't care then, I was angry. When he died, I didn't even go to the funeral. Now, for the last year, God has been dealing with me about forgiving him and I have expressed interest in doing that. But I don't know what to do beyond that. All kinds of issues have come up some of which I have no idea of. Primarily because of what was done to me, I can't bring myself to drink, smoke or do drugs. But when it comes to sex, it's God's way and that's it. Maybe this journal can further me to eventual forgiveness. 
