Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

I registered online to christian counselling to seek help about my addictions, my obsessions and just to be in Christ. Because everything I have is tumbling around - my social life, my chrisitian life and my carreer.
Soical Life - I had a close friend of mine, very close friend and with time I started falling in love with her. I kept my feeling for her for a while but I then I thought she also had a feeling for me. So I told her my feelings and she declined. And not only that she shut me out entirely. Now everytime I think about he not calling or emailing me. Because we used to be so close, we email/text eachother every now and then. Everytime I think that she had shut me down I become engulfed with this emotions where I feel my heart beat fast. I only feel like that when I am extremely angry. But now it is everyday and now and then on. The thought of her just shutting me out is having a hold of mind. I just wanted to stop. One wierd thing is that I think of in my mind what I would say to her next time when we meet in church or by email and then I never say it. I want to stop thinking about it. I know the facts - but she has been the only close friend I have been open too. And we go to the same church, we share the same friends. Its like now I can't be anywhere, because both of us will not feel comfortable(awkward) as she put it.
My Christian Life - And I am weak I sin now and then. Just recently I started overcoming addiction of pornography through prayer. I attend Bible study and we are studying Romans 8 and I saw that God has called us for sanctification and has put his Spirit in us to enable us to meet the just requirements of the law. So I started praying and recognizing that I am Christ's and studying more. I also visited counselling websites and learnt some ways to deal with it. I overcame but recently I am failing.
My Work - It has been a while since I thought of taking an exam to improve my career but I am stuck planning. I am on the same spot where I was two years ago, except now I have more experience. I thought of leaving my job for a better paying job but I would also think back again it would be better if I remain at my current job to till I take the exam.
Before I had a friend to unload my burden but now I am alone. Just while writing this I came to understand that personally I am depneding on her to unload my feelings but on Christ who also hears. I know what to do but I can't do them, this my main problem.
Please advice me!

Welcome to Oasis. There is a counseling study on here - if you go to the SIte Map and go to counseling you should find it. It is cccc. It will help you to explore what is blocking you.

I look forward to reading your journal entries.

Hello wantHistouch! Welcome to the counseling program.....sounds like you are carrying around a bit of baggage on your shoulders...and have some uncertainty in your life on the direction God would have you go....my friend I want you to know that God has a plan for you....and if you will seek Him and do so diligently...He will reveal His plan. He also wants to be your best friend...He wants to be the one you tell everything to, and the one you lean on for help and advice. He loves you and He cares about you. He does not want for you to be feeling alone and He does not want for you to hurt.

I'm not sure how your prayer life is wantHistouch...but I want to encourage you to pray, pray and pray some more...God has the answers...and He knows why the things you are going through are happening.....seek Him...and you will see things begin to look up.

Take care

Welcome!
First, I sent you a PM before you posted this.
I also am in recovery from addictions and obsessions.
So....I can relate as to what you are going through.
You might want to check out the Real Solutions Forum as it deals with addictions.
Just want to say you are not alone and we share a common bond.
It takes one to know one.
May wisdom, peace, and healing begin as you have admitted your powerlessness.
God and people who He puts in your path cares.
I am close by if you need an ear to listen.
Meanwhile, I'll pray for you.

GBU

Real

Thanks be to God, honestly I wont act as if everything went back to normal in my life but I would admit all the comment from all of you who replied helped, God bless you all. Today I went through Day 2 christian counselling journal and I found the renew your mind message deep. I am digesting that and I have not created my check list so I guess I would have to stay on Day 2 tomorrow also.
Thanks mlg I will keep praying that would be on my list of thing to do for everyday. Today at church I stopped doing my normal service and just spent my time in church praying. Thanks realtmg for your encouragement I have mailed you back. God bless you all.
If I may ask you all - what should I do to help ease my situation with my friend. She shut me out totally. Now I totaly understand this website is for christian edification. But if I may this once time, I want to know if there is something that I can do so at least me and her can speak again as brothers and sisters. She is a christian and I am too but she shut me out today too. And after the prayer time when we were just about to greet, I felt my heart beating fast- hard to describe it - I kind of felt my heart racing right when she was shutting me. So you can see what I am going through and I would appreciate if someone can give me a bit of advice about that too. If you like you can send me private message too. I am praying for her and for me too. Am I giving it a big deal? It is just that we know each other for years and we have been even the closest from our group and I value her christian friendship(like brothers and sisters). I don't know what to do to put things back to normal.

I doubt that they can ever return to what they were. But you still needed to share your feelings. If you hadn't, you would have never known.

I hope you find a new friend. In a while, she will likely be more open with you.

I'm sorry for your pain.

Thanks Dema

hey wantHistouch....I believe that what you have to give her most is time...if you push....she will just shut you out even further.....there isn't anything you can do to restore things as they were...but you can pray for God to touch her with forgiveness....and leave that to Him....you are already making some new friends...just look at all who are replying to you here at the Oasis....keep walking through the steps...and focusing on your relationship with God...then He will bless you....as He has to be first and foremost in your life.

Take care