Christianity Oasis Forum

[Blain]

I just dont undestand what god is doing, I may have only been saved for three months but i am so sick of waiting for god to change me into the person i want to be in him. I dont think the amount of time you have been a christian matters but more of what your heart is. When i talk to god I say do you know how long i have tried to be patient and how hard it is to just trust you and say I may not be the kind of person you and i want me to be but i have faith you will do it. God and i both know what my heart desires, I want to be A knight of christ, to have faith of Iron and blood of christ. with the fiery sword of truth in my right hand and his word in my left to smite all evil. I know how weak i am and how much unbeleif i have and i despise it because thats not who i am deep inside. Waiting for him to burn all that is not him inside me and change me into that kind of beleiver is the hardest thing i have ever had to do. So god, what are you waiting for? What must i do to see what you see? I want to be a person who follows your commands no matter what doubts come or what people say. even if my entire being screams dont do it this is crazy are you stupid? You say those who seek you will find you, you say i can have all i ask for if i beleive. Lord i do not want things of this world,money, expensive things are usless to me you know already I only want the spiritual gifts you have you offer. So, what now father? I have complete faith you can do all these things for me, I speak of my frustrations because i want to be honest with you, david did the same thing knowing you could save him. I have waited Lord jesus, I have walked in faith, I love you with every fiber of my soul. Can i please Lord have even one of the things i have begged for. The promises i made to you out of my heart lord How many people actually think like that these days lord? And whats more I want to fufill all of these desire because i know lord these are your desires as well. Why hold back lord? Am i not doing good enough? Am i doing something wrong? Please lord you have answered these kinds of prayers before and i need an answer now. I believe father Time and expereince in you has nothing to do with what you can do to change me. I want so much to be just like you Lord Jesus, you have known this for a very long time. do you rmember Lord when I was in your arms for the first time? My soul was so tired but you held me in your arms and i could see it all in my mind with my eye's closed. I knew exactly who you were in your arms and i wanted to come home so much and i begged you to take me home but I heard you whisper to be strong for you. How can i possibly be stong with out your help O lord? How much longer must i wait and struggle to keep trusting you to act? Please have mercy Jesus and hear my plea of frustation. My heart longs for you at a level that is almost to much for me to handle which is where this frustration comes from. Why can i not have it now O lord? Why?

[Maverick_Reborn]

Have you read the book of job yet? There is a reason for this waiting, so that you might be more patient when it is over. Im not accusing you of having small patience, because I suffer from the same and I know nothing. Just keep on doung whatever God tells you, because He is preparing you for eternity. Remember, 1000 years to man is only a day to God. He knows everything you are ever going to do, and you neither I nor anyone else and persuade Him to change his plans =)

[itsjanet]

Wow! you're prayer sounds like that of king David from the book of Psalms. God is working in you. I encourage you to keep this journal either in private or in this site. You'll see God's work. Browse through Psalms. Psalms 22 and 86 to be specific.

[Jedidiah]

Hello Blain,
God Shows Himself as 'Father' to us. The Lord Jesus is 'Shepherd' to us and The Holy Spirit is 'Guide' to us.
Now Suppose A baby is Born and the Father takes him out dresses him up in a suit and puts him in charge of a company. The baby will die. the father would show lack of care and understanding. So the baby is nurtured over time. He is educated over time, and over time he grows to be the man that the father hopes for.
Moses was forty years in training in Pharaoh's palace. Forty years in training in the desert before he was brought out to fulfill God's purpose.
Now suppose the Shepherd took the new born lamb and sheared him. Would he produce sufficient wool - no. but he grows and Then is sheared. The Bible speaks of the harvest - see Mark 4:26 - 29 'And he said, So is the kingdom of God, as if a man should cast seed into the ground; And should sleep, and rise night and day, and the seed should spring and grow up, he knows not how. For the earth brings forth fruit of herself; first the blade, then the ear, after that the full corn in the ear. But when the fruit is brought forth, immediately he puts in the sickle, because the harvest is come.
And also James 5:7 Be patient therefore, brethren, unto the coming of the Lord. Behold, the husbandman waits for the precious fruit of the earth, and hath long patience for it, until he receive the early and latter rain.
Now imagine if you go to Israel and your Guide took you to the end of Hezekiah's tunnel, instead of beginning at the beginning and taking you through the tough bits, and the rough bits, and the fun bits, and the interesting bits, and the dark bits. You would not have experienced it.
Or if you went to Nepal and your guide took you to climb Everest when you had had no training, what would happen? You would likely die in the attempt.
Wisdom trains educates grows learns and does the little tasks first like a babe that helps with the little things, before he is a man that can do the big things.
When we come to the Lord - we come as Servants, and our promise is 'Lord I will Serve you. YOU tell me what to do.' And then we wait on HIM. ON HIS direction, His instruction.
I know you are keen but the Lord is Master, and here it seems you are commanding HIM.
David had to wait many years in exile and in deprivation and fear for his life as he WAITED for the LORD to act on his behalf for the ministry that God had called him to.
Patience will be rewarded.
Blessings
Jedidiah.

[jimf]

AWESOME WORD JEDIDIAH!!! Jimf

[Blain]

I think i understand, I had a moment of weakness. It wasn't really even about god not acting i guess it was just about me not being all i promised god i would be. I know how much unbelief i have, and i know i do not love and care like jesus does But i want to change all of that and i guess i just got tired of waiting. But even so my love for Jesus is very strong, so even if i never was able to be this person i promised him i would be at least he will know of how much i love him. I am hoping i will understand the importance of slow and steady progress and how it's not the destination that is the most important but the journey.

[itsjanet]

Yes, many of can relate. We ask God to give us patience NOW! But continue to seek Him. Remember in the Bible, God used the meek, common characters... David, Zacheus, Moses, Peter. They weren't the most popular, stellar individuals. It's not about our obvious potential that is marketable to God. It's about giving our submission to Christ and letting God reign in our lives. He can work through anything. He can work with anything. I'm really eager to see how God is working with you. He's already started.