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I am in need of some advice. I can't seem to find peace in my circumstances. I want to look forward in my life and find joy and peace that Jesus has saved me from my pit. I am ashamed to say that it would be so much easier if my husband were here and not with the other woman...still wanting, and being okay with this divorce. I am so tired of sharing the time with my son, we should be enjoying him together, as a family. Not me alone with our son, and him with our son and the other woman and her son, enjoying the time that should be spent between the three of us. I know that because of my past this is how it is. My husband keeps repeating to me "it is what it is" what does that mean exactly? Yea sure it is what it is, but its not how it should be. I don't know how to move on from this. I know I should let go and let God, and I have done so. But my thoughts and emotions are over powering me, and I can't seem to shake this feeling.
My husband was over for dinner at my mothers house, it was great, I made dinner, we all talked it was fabulous. When I went to get seconds for myself I asked him if he wanted some more, he replied with "yes Please" as I was returning to give him his plate he muttered "thanks BABY" WHAT??! my body literally felt as if it was being lifted off the floor. To hear that come out of his mouth filled me with sooooo much happiness... but that all went away when we left church later that night and he turned out of the church towards her house and all day Monday I did not hear from him. I cant help but want to text him, just to hear from him whether its good or bad brings light to my day.
I feel selfish... I feel like I should be so much happier, I feel like I am letting our Savior down. He saved me from my pit. So many lies, drugs, communication with so many wordly people, so much selfishness, and he saved me from all of it. I feel disgusted that I am even feeling so much unhappiness do to my circumstances.
I am so glad that I am going to "cleansing stream" at my church tonight...I need to surround myself with the word of God.

Hello ChasingCars

God bless you this day.

I can understand your desire to be reunited as a family, and to be one with your husband. Your desire is not a sinful one, so continue to pray for your desire and the ability to be content in the moment.

I remember when my daughter was very young, sometimes she would get ahead of herself. If she knew we were going to McDonald's, her thoughts would sometimes build to the point she also wanted to go get ice-cream afterwards, or maybe even to Toys R Us, and, and, and, and, and, and. I'd have to gently remind her that McDonalds was the goal, and that we were going enjoy ourselves at McDonalds and the food and the time spent together, and that there was no need to add more to it.

We live in a time where "more is better." But, I have found that embracing that thought only sets us up where we do not enjoy the simple pleasures, fully. Our minds can get so busy, we get dizzy, and then disappointed.

Remember, we have a real enemy, and he is sneaky and crafty. His goal is to keep us out of balance, always discontent in whatever we're doing. God's Word tells us to take every thought captive. II Corinthians 10:5 Casting down imaginations (thoughts), and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

God desires that we be content, and part of being content requires we control thoughts. Even if the thoughts are not sinful, per say, they can, if we're not careful, become obsessive and out-of-control -- disturbing the peace and contentment found in Christ.

Stay in the moment and enjoy the small pleasures fully.

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus, on your behalf. May God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Mack