Christianity Oasis Forum

[blueshine]

I am in my healing process for a while, I mean, about 4 months. During my process many things have happened. God has let me see my big mistakes, He let me to stop being the victim and started to see that I am responsible. In justice I must be strongly punished, but in God`s mercy I still alive and in God`s Grace I received forgiveness and restoration.
During the process with God´s help I could forgive my parents and family and be forgotten as well, before him first of all.
I am completely sure that I am a different person, but I also know that this journey just start. I am sure that I was born again, I am new, because He did that miracle in my life.
Here is my today testimony, in relation to be humble:
Today I had a class with some friends. We had a team work. During this exercise I was very concentrated. A friend wanted to do everything during the exercise and this upset me a little of bit, so I just said, “we could do it as well”… when I said that sentence I did not think how big situation was formed.
My friend was offended and cried to me very badly saying “Why you said that to me? Why you offended me? You are very bad? You said horrible things to me”… and so I felt really humiliated. So I realize that I am Christian so I did not say anything, neither bad nor good, just kept silenced and tried to ignore her and continue with the exercise as she did not say anything more …. But the environment was very tense, and the other friends realize about it…. I pray in my mind all the time during this exercise, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I would lack of nothing, even if I am in the hard path He will look after me”… I still with the exercise, but my heart was crying unto God asking for His help…… I just was sure that I do not want to fight.. and see my friend that she really want to fight in front of every body… I felt that she was quite jealousy because I had quite good relationship with the others in the group… so she wanted me to quite damage my testimony… maybe saying to everybody.. “ahhh look at this Christian you see how react”…
so my claim to the Lord, was HELP ME LORD PLEASE, I love you, I need you, Please, come and help me”
I kept quite silence but the environment continue very tense. I felt at that moment that I was very HUMBLE, because I just leave the situation and did not confront and did not say anything.. and avoid completely the person which I had the conflict and kept silence.
At the end of the class day I had to come back home with her in her car,… I tried to avoid it.. but in my heart I thougth.. ahh not that is not good, because I will give her a reason, and then I will have the blame… that is not good as my reputation as a Christian I thouth… so ….
I thougt.. if my friend left without telling me anything, it will be her fault, and then, the blame must be on her and not upon me…
Ironically I was thinking that I was right… I was true about it.. .. I am humble…. I am good Christian… I want peace…
We started the journey back home. It had to be almost 3 hour on the car.. we kept silence for almost 2 hours.. I said a word and realize that she wanted to fight … and I felt terrible… she reply so aggressive… so I did not talk a word for a while whilst she was upset…
When she started to said that I was horrible, that was terrible the way I talked her… I reply…. Why you dimension so much this situation… do not understand why you want to fight? I tell her.. … you won… you have the reason… please forgive me… and leave it….
With this reply, my friend became really upset and started to cried high and said that I should respect her….
I was crying in my heart before God.. I did not want to hurt her, did not want to be bad Christian… did not want to offend God… did not know what to do … I just remember in that very moment the Word of God that says “If my brother offended me I should go him and ask for forgiveness”…. So I did that… I just ask her… “Please forgive me, before God, I tell you the true… I did not want to offend you, neither hurt you… please forgive me”
So she became calm..
And I said… leave it… you should see our other “friend”, he did not became offended for nothing although other friend in the class bother him… .. this situation between as was nothing… do not see it… as proverbs says: The man who pass the offense is wise….
With this reply my friend really became upset, really upset… and here is when my testimony really is:
She started to talk and talk and inside y was crying whilst I heart her.. but I knew that I should kept silence and listen .. and look at her and listen what she was really saying…..
She said really crying loudly… “Do not realize how bad you make me feel… and make things worse you say that I should leave it… as my feelings do not care at all… even worse… you compare my life with other… as I should follow an example and make me felt I am the worse.. when YOU offended me… and you think that you are humble and that is NOT.. you think that closing yourself you are humble and leave me with my bad feelings is being humble… not … it is all apposite… you only think in yourself,… you think that you yield before the situation… and I won… and that is NOT… you are not humble… you win leaving the situation and other are defeated.. I do not win… and you are selfish you only think in you.”
I almost cried when I was hearing her, because I realize that she is right…. I am selfish… I wanted to be humble and I was being all the opposite… I asked for forgiveness to God at that very moment…. But really what she was saying… and think ¿what happened with her heart?…. Really did not think properly about it… I just thought that maybe she wanted to damage my life so I asked God for help….
After she said all the things she wanted to say… I ask her, please forgive me.. please… ! you are right… forgive me… I did not want you to feel bad…. Forgive me please.
After this she calm down and said.. yes… ok… but it is not right that you leave others without thinking how they felt… I know that you want to be humble… but keeping only yourself is not and leaving is also not….
Until here I felt that was God letting this situation… .. I realize how much I still lacking before God of everything.. I want to be humble… but I had failed in the tried… after this, she talked many things that I considered that not were more from God, she wanted me to almost hate other friends… she wanted me be just her friend… I prayed whilst she was saying this last sentence, asking God to help her, asking for the Grace of God upon her life…
When finish the conversation I went inside my home and I realize that all my relationships in my life, I use to just leave… do not want to fight.. because I am humble… so I just leave .. and said… I do not want to dimension this situation.. .. I just leave it and apparently when I leave, the others win…. But that was not true before God neither before people… .. and even if the others offended me so much… I said … I prayed for them… but never meet with them again… only if it is really necessary….. and Just leave…..
Leave has been the rule…. Leave is pride…. That it is!.... sadly… .. I have been coward and the pride has been in my life… sadly…
I cry to God because I do not want to be like that….do not want to be like that…. But because I never practice other reaction… I do not know what to do in front of tense situations… I usually leave…. I pray, yes… … but after it.. I just leave….
With this situation God show me how bad I was… how miserable I was… and only the Grace of God would help me to overcome this… continuo my process and pray for it and also I do appreciate all prayers about it.
At this very moment I know that God wants me to change this behavior, He did not like this because this have damage my life in many ways..
So, I know for sure that God wants me to change… so I cry to God for help.. I want to honor Him with my life, with my thoughts, with everything I do, I want to give Glory to Him every moment of my life.. … I want that God be please with any offering I could offer to Him… I cry for his Grace, for the unmerited favor upon the human beings… for the Grace upon my life for being gentle and humble as He taught us.
I know that God is Good, I know that God is so Good, and forever are His mercies! So I want just wait in Him as I know for sure that not one in the earth or in heaven or in any place could give me the help I need.
What to do… … just wait upon Him…. He is God.. He is my God… He will care of me as his children.
I continue in the process as I see during this His mercy and His Grace
Glory to Jesus for ever

[Mackenaw]

Hello Blueshine

God bless you this day.

Wow, sounds like the situation led you to a deeper understanding of God's Word, and it also gave you a lot to think about. Awwwwwww, God is so Good!!!

We all mess up at times, I know I do, a lot. God's grace is far-reaching, if we will receive it.

I, too, often use silence to hopefully put a stop to things or arguments or discussions that I don't want to get into. However, my silence often just makes others get angrier. And, then as they grow angrier and angrier, I sit there praying for more self-control, because their yelling tempts me to yell too.

It is all the work of the devil, in me and in the other person. "I am sorry" goes a long way to calm a situation and to put an end to satan's ploys. However, there are times, satan will persist in his ploy by using the other person to push the situation even further.

I'm glad that your friend finally calmed down, after she vented at you, and you listened to her.

There are those, however, that will use that "venting" method to control us...manipulation. It is a form of rebellion within them. You did well in going to God and in hearing Him. Praise God. Keep your friend in prayer.

There is a wonderful study on this site on the topic of "Humility", here is the link, if you would like to read it: http://www.christianityoasis.com/Keyword/Humility.htm

Thank you for sharing, Blueshine. Your post gave me some things to think about and to discuss with The Lord.

God bless and keep you, Blueshine.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack