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I read step 2 today. I guess its time to "weed my garden". I guess I am not one for an overuse of metaphors as it seems to oversimplify things, but It does make sense. My problems are drinking, smoking (cigarrets only), and infidelity. Frankly the smoking though very harmful is not the highest on my priority list based on the other two. I spoke to my minister today who it has been years since I have seen. Told him of my problems and made an appointment to speak with him when I'm in town to help me through the healing process. Step two got me thinking that it is going to be a long process since my "weeds" have gotten large, but has me thinking of why I cheated on my wife a second time. When my wife and I went through she forgave me and we worked on it, but I did not change my other behavior. It was just do not do it again. The problem I am seeing is that my horrible actions are a symptom of a sickness, and not the sickness itself. I never "weeded" my garden. I just pulled one large weed and let the others grow. This time I am not taking a shortcut, and not overlooking any weeds. I need to overhaul what I surround myself with and create a clean garden before I move forward.

Hey brother!!
step two
Have you ever seen a thistle weed....let me rephrase that have you ever seen a SINGLE thistle weed???
they are never alone, why because that one drops the seeds that start the next 1-5-20 other weeds
hmmmmm
hang in there brother and keep posting
Cuc

Being honest is a huge plus in over coming.

Keep up the good work bro. Freedom is worth fighting for.

One of my favorite metaphores :

Lets say I want to "redo" my lawn . I go out and spend a considerable amount of extra money on "Top Quality" seeds to ensure I get a good lawn . But , through false advertisements and such , the lawn looks GREAT when the seeds first starting to sprout , and even better when I get a full carpet . Now , a couple of months later , I notice the grass has a mixture of other grass in it , and I get a bit discouraged (at first) .... Ok , an afternoon of mowing , the grass cut down to size , and bingo !!!

Is the grass the problem ?

going through these steps , or rather these steps are designed to help us dig deeper than the symptoms .... taking care of the symptoms does not solve the problem causing it .



Luv ya , keep digging bro .
In Christ , our Lord

Right, I want to clean myself up completely. I know that a small fix is not the issue, but it is going to be a long process. My wife stated she definitely wants to work things out but it is going to take a long time. That does not scare me because I know my actions will speak, but I just need her to keep me until my actions show her the truth. I am overhauling everything to be healthy for me and her. She misses the man she fell in love with, the guy with a clean "garden" if you will. Not only that, but I was happy then. I will get there, but it is going to be a horrible, long, and tough road. I just hope my wife does not give up on me. I know God does not give us anything we cannot handle, but sometimes I wish he would make that more clear because these things do not always seem like we can deal with them.