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I am really loving being open and sharing the truth and reality of my life. I think it is really helping me. Here is something else I feel tremendously bad about. I am ashamed about this situation so I don't share it with most anyone. However, there are people in my life who are NOT Christians and know my husband was a preacher and they have a "Need to know" ....just a few...not many...but I feel like I have let Christianity down and given it a bad name and smeared the name of Christ just by communicating to someone very very briefly because they need to know so I won't get fired or something like that. They say things like "I thought he was a preacher". This makes me feel SO BAD!

Hi sis
It again is this type of "profiling" that irritates me.

You may not realize nor do they but you are still witnessing to them.....you see you are making them aware that yes he WAS a pastor and yes you ARE Christians BUT you are ALSO....human and so is he, just because someone is a pastor or leader of another kind in the church does not mean satan does not use his sneaky ways to weaken them and sometimes they are not strong enough to resist OR they allow satan to sneak in far enough that they are unable to turn back by themselves and too ashamed to ask for help so they are swallowed up by his evil ways.
There is ONLY ONE with the strength to resist satan by himself.....our Lord.
You should not allow satan to make you feel shame for this (which is ANOTHER one of his tools) you are seeking God through this and as for smearing Christ no you are not and neither is your hubby SATAN is and he has used your hubby in a way to do it, we just need to continue to lift him up in prayer that our Lord will pull him through so you BOTH may CONTINUE to testify that no matter WHO you are satan WILL attack you!!
As for these others....pray that they are forgiven for this judgement that is not for them to make.

I also read your other post about losing him, dearest sis please know it will do no good to worry about this you should put your mind to better use and put THAT in Gods hands, if God see it fit that he return to you then nothing will stand in the way, you just keep your focus on yourself healing first then doing what you can after the 2 weeks for your hubby and all the while praying and staying!! "pray to God for guidence and stay in His presence and word"
May God continue to show you the paths He has for you and wrap His loving arms around you and show you that you are safe.
Cuc

Thank you! God bless you! I appreciate the advice and I believe you are right. I am truly thankful for this website.

cuc has such amazing things to share... I just had to chime in and agree.

This shame is definitely not from God. I truly believe what God wants is a unity among us that we can share our burdens with each other without fear, to bolster each other and help each other. I hate that this is made so difficult sometimes.