Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

In my 3rd Entry I questioned whether or not I had forgiven myself, I didn't need to ask myself for I knew the answer. No, I haven't. I guess the main reason why I haven't forgiven myself is because I feel if I forgive myself, I am giving myself permisison to go out and do the very same thing. I suppose the guilt is my way of ensuring I dont ever repeat that action because I know how awful it feels how the guilt weighs me down. The message of forgiving myself brought a tear to my eyes and I know I really need to do so. I have no problem aksing for forgiveness and I trust God has forgiving me, but what is the use of all that if I haven't forgiven myself? I am on a journey to forgive myself and relieve myself of any guilt or shame. I started off desperately trying to get my ex to forgive me and want me back into his life and then I thought about my brother, whom i hurt over two years ago and never apologized or sought after his forgiveness in the same way. Today I mailed him a letter and I have been praying that God opens his heart to recieve my letter, so that he can forgive me and we can be reconciled. I want him back in my life just as badly. It's amazing how God works, i'm thankful for his word.

Oh, I pray that your brother's heart will be opened to you. God is the God of reconciliation. I pray He will work on his heart, too. If it doesnt happen right away, sis, dont be discouraged. Keep him in prayer. You have done what the Lord wants you to do in this and the rest is up to Him. Your brother is His too.

As for forgiving yourself for stuff youve done...sister, His grace is sufficient. Its what the cross is all about. No amount of beating yourself up will make up for the sin we have in our lives..Christ's mercy and sacrifice is complete. It wasnt done halfway. It is 100% complete grace..again, not by anything we have done, but by what He has done for us. Holding on to guilt and shame is a tool the enemy of our souls uses in our lives to speak to our souls that Jesus' sacrifice isnt enough. We know the truth..if we could just get it through our heads and into our hearts. Let it go, sister. This is where the joy of your salvation comes from...and the freedom to walk in His grace.

Im praying for you as so many are. You are doing an awesome job on this path. He loves you so very much.

In Jesus,
love momo

Wow...I'm excited for everything to work out for you in his will. God is definitely amazing. It is so crazy how situations come full circle. As far as your ex goes...I'm not sure if you still want him or her to want you back now, but I'm sure as you continue with this program and learn patience it will happen when you least expect it or you will find that you were not really into them at all. Time will tell, continue to be patient and have that listening heart (spirit) and Soul(mind). :-)

Love you!

- Carla J.

Thank you Momo, I have forgiven myself and I am on a mission to Let Go and Let God! Thanks for your prayers and words of encouragement, in my letter I told my brother I would not give up- I will keep trying until we are reconciled. I know this will be pleasing to God and to my mom. I live in Asia and my brother is in the US, there's not a lot of communicating but I will exhaust every means possible.
Carla J, thank you soo much and I do still want my ex but I realize this journey is greater than what I had initially thought. At first I just wanted my broken heart and broken relationship to be healed, and while I have seen evidence of this occuring - it is no longer my greatest concern. I want to have a closer relationship with God, I am starting from within and by doing so I will experience God's healing in all areas of my life, now I see many other areas that are in need of healing.
May God bless you both
Love Krys