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Hi God!!! I found a site online to spend time with other christians. There was a link there about starting a 14 day journey called healing path.
It says I am to be consistent in these 14 days to journal so here I am.
I'm not feeling good emotionally these days Lord. I don't understand why I am in the place I am now. I have spent a lot of time becoming closer to you since losing my job. I've always tried to be a good peson and to help others.I know the Holy Spirit gave me the gift of nursing. You know I was a good nurse and I cared about my patients. Since losing myjob and becoming closer to You I realized I was not always compassionate to difficult patients and co-workers.
My life has not been an easy one., Lord. Growing up with an alcoholic father who was abusive at times was not easy. I have forgiven him for the way he was.
You know my first marriage wasn't a good and ended soonfter we married due to him being so controlling. My second marriage would have been good had we not moved back to his home town where his drinking took over his life. I blamed myself for a long time but eventually came to see that his illness was the problem not me. It hurts to know how much pain he was in and there was nothing I could do to help him.
You know since I lost my jobI have had many trials. Finances are awful and the unemployment is going to run out soon. I was lazy in the beginning to look for work and didn't realize that it would be so hard to find work.
Now I don't know what to do. I keep asking for Your help but I feel like You are being silent and I don't understand why. You know I'm doing my part to find a job and praying about it to You.
I am thankful for the blessings You have given to me this past 1 1/2 years. You have blessed me with an enourmous amount of strength. You helped me get over a realationship that wasn't right for us at the time. You helped me get through the car accident and kep me and my daughter and dog safe and helped us heal quickly from our minor injuries. You blessed me with another car although it needs repairs that I can't get fixed till my finances get better. You have provided the money to meet each months bills and have given us food and clothing. You have helped me lose these 50 lbs and kept me healthy without my medications. You have blessed me with good family and friends. You have provided a church where there is love and people are eager to doYour will. You helped me get through the bed bug ordeal where everything was bagged up and I felt like I was living in a dumpster. I am so grateful and thankful that You have been with me through all this and have kept me strong.
This journey however is getting tough. Without a job and unemployment coming to an end I don't know what to do. I pray and ask for answers but none come. My strength is weakening. My body is physically hurting all the time now. No matter how much I pray and try to trust in You and bleive in You and have faith I'm losing my peace and joy.
I'm trying real hard to fully rely on You Lord. I keep telling myself you are working to make things better but I don't feel that way.
Hold on to me Lord!!! I feel like I am falling into a pit that keeps getting darker. I need Your Light to shine upon me. I really need You Lord. Not just today but everyday. Right now I just wish You would bring me home to You but if You will is for me to be here please make things better.

1 Peter 1:6-8
New American Standard Bible (NASB)

6 In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, 7 so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 8 and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,

I have had a lot of stress myself in the last years. This verse came up lately. The test may result in you being praised with glory and honor when you are before Jesus. God wants to grow us. And it seems we grow more in times of trial. He will never leave you nor forsake you. The more you can maintain faith, the more minutes in which you can believe in the power of God, the more victory you will have. And the stronger you will be. And the more it will grow you for all eternity.

But trials are only one part of the walk. Victory is another part. Joy comes in the morning. This isn't forever. It will get better. Abraham waited for promises and they did come to pass. He waited a long time. But the promises came to pass.

Try to find joy in the minutes. Try to trust God just for right now. And when right now is past, just for another right now, and another.

God bless you.

Welcome to Oasis Lei.

I don't have any wonderful words for you. Just wanted to say I do care. Sending up a prayer. I'm glad you are focusing on the good things and not loosing faith.

Thanks for the being here. I know in my heart God has a good plan for me and I have grown so much in this waiting period. I just feel like this is never going to end. I know with God's strength I will get through this.

Lei this will pass. Nothing stays the same. It all passes. Sometimes that's good and sometimes what passes from us is difficult to let go of. So we must not hold on to tightly to anything except God himself. This struggle will pass. It's only for a time.

Hi Leilove,


Welcome to Oasis!!!

You have an awesome spirit to ya ! Your faith and His guidance has brought you thus far through all of those trials, keep trusting sister! He didnt bring you this far to drop you.

Dont fret, it is through our trials that we learn to lean on HIm and can partake of that intimate relationship with Him that nothing else can compare to. Keep doing your part and He is sure to see your heart and will bless you in HIs timing as He has done thus far. He is sooo awesome!

There is nowhere i would rather be then where i am today , trials and all. I know you feel similar just maybe a lil anxious because we being human refer to the clock, but remember His time is the best time

God bless and keep you too!
♥Jill