Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

googled ((christian chat)) and had many to choose from but Oasis you had to wait to be excepted which straight away showed me it had to be more than a chat....My husband had just told me he had booked me in and we were not keeping the baby..... my heart was heavy so I was looking for answers when I joined Oasis.
Next day I tried to log in but it wouldnt let me
I tried another site but everyone was cussing and that wasnt how I imagined a christian site to be...
I woke the 3rd day and couldnt get on again so I sent a short note asking why, I new time was running out.
That night my hubby and I had an arguement so I was on my bed crying and noticed the Oasis home page was on my screen which I was very sure I had closed it. That was the first night I met some lovly people.
My heart has changed and since I have to run before hubby is home I will be back later to tell you more.

ok I seem to have a heavy heart, like when you feel uneasy about somthing, I need to figure somthing out I am booked in for the 29th????

Its 3am and I woke up hearing a baby cry....now I cant sleep. I was thinking back to when I was a child and went to churcch, It was a mormon church but the God there seems to be very different to the God Im hearing about here. I have always been afraid of him because of what I remembered from church, my childhood and in my teenage years I was excomunicated. So why do I feel love here is it the same God????

Ive spoken to some wonderful people there differnt to people I know they have a warm love about them. Ive learnt one thing and thats about the fetus im carrying, that even before it came to me it was meant for me. It was no accident,

Another day and today Im feeling very peaceful Ive decided to keep my baby, I am afraid of what my husband is going to say but we have been together 23yrs surely he will understand.

Well he didnt understand at all and its Monday I am still booked in for Thursday what am I going to do??

Im sorry I havnt been here Merry Christmas everyone, I spent a few days in the hospital fell down the back step and broke 2 ribs Im mending though

Today is Thursday and we have about 3 hours, my husband has been up all night reading stuff from OASIS, I have no clue what but we havnt spoken a word. Im too scared to ask him anything hoping he wont say anything and today just wont happen. Ive been cleaning franticly (thats what I do when Im nervous or scared) I spoke to God last night well I think I was doing it right. I just said out loud that if there was anytime I needed somthing huge to happen it was now! Then I just said your will be done. I remembered that from Sunday School. Anyway I am gonna do some reading myself on here, If anyone has anything they think might pull me through this please step forward time is scareing me.
Monday 2nd January 2012Eric still isnt home and Im spotting still bad pains in my tummy, the kids are away and Im feeling very lonely, I know what Eric does is not nice but he does take good care i of me too.

Tuesday 3rd January 2012Bleeding has stopped and Eric isnt home. Today is a work day so I guess or hope he opens up the shop today.
Oh am I sore today.
On the way to the doctors!!!!!!

Hello Popples (((hugs)))

God bless you this day.

I was glad to talk to you in Chat last night. I wanted to share a couple scriptures from the Bible with you.

In this first scripture, God is talking to Jeremiah:

Jeremiah 1:5 Before I [God] formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.

This next scripture talks about all of us:

Ephesians 1:4-5 For He [God] chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight: In love He predestined us to be adopted as His sons [and daughters] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will --

emphasis [] added

Popples, you see, the moment God thought of us in His mind and heart, He knew us, and He knew us and loved us long before He ever created the earth. He decided when each of us would be born into this earth, but He knew us long before.

The reason you feel the love of God here, is because The Holy Spirit of God indwells every Born Again believer/person. That means that any person that confesses their sins to Him, and acknowledges that Jesus died for their sins and was resurrected and now sits at the right hand of God, and He now reigns with God and is their Saviour, is Born Again -- given a new life in Christ, and will one day be in Heaven with God The Father, God The Son (Jesus) and God The Holy Spirit.

God led you here, and He wants you to know He loves you so very much, and He is using this site, and the people here, to give you His message of love.

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His One and only Son [Jesus], that whosoever believes in Him [Jesus] shall not perish but have eternal life.

emphasis [] added

God is Love. Jesus loves you and died for all our sins, because the sin that was born into us, separated us from Him. He does not want to be separated from any of His children.

Thank You Jesus!!!

God bless and keep you, Popples.
Love,
Sister Mack

THIS IS MR POPPLES (ERIC)I thought I would come here and see what my wife has been talking about and if I remember rightly the bible says obey thy husband. Our youngest is now 18 we dont need to be bringing a baby up now. What are you all thinking, its no gift from God I put the baby there and its my decission not to keep it, dont encourage her because it wil just make things worse for her. Thanks for listening.

Well well

This is Mr. Jill .... my question for you is .... who do you think you are telling US what to do .... You may think you can play God with yourself .... but I got news for you .... that's as far as you gonna get with it .

Hello Mr. Popples. It's nice to meet you.

Can you see your wife longs to keep this baby?

The bible is also very clearly about loving your wife as Christ loves the church. Christ DIED for the church.

When a man is clearly not walking in the way of the Lord the wife does not have to follow him nor submit to his authority. God is the ultimate authority.

You can not undo what has been done. Your wife will be scared with in her DEEPEST inner part (her soul) if she is forced to end this pregnancy. Aborting the tiny soul she has already grown to love will cause a division between the two of you. This is NOT the best plan for your marriage. You WILL loose her if you do not respect her wishes. I'm not saying she will walk out of your life, but she will become distant. It will be damage done to your relationship that may NEVER be undone.

Consider your choice wisely. Having this child could gain you a son or daughter that adores you. And keep your wife close to your side physically and emotionally. Forcing her to abort will cause you to loose her emotionally. As you'll break her heart. Do you love her enough to lay down your wants and desires in life to allow her to keep what her body has already accepted as part of her?

Dear mister Popples (selfish eric)
I whole heartily agree with the last few post but I want to extend a hand to you and ask why you would choose to murder your child, I'm sorry to put it that way but that IS what it is there are times that this unfortunate choice must be made but I wonder if it is the case here or is it just being selfish, I will pray for you to realize what you are asking her to do but I will pray also that she goes to God NOT us OR you to make this choice yes she should obey her husband WHEN he is making a Godly choice!
I'm sorry for your feelings but unless you can enlighten us why, then yes we will continue to pray for this unborn child
this is not what kind or color of car you two are buying or what you are having for dinner this is God's most precious gift!
May God have mercy on you and may you see the light BEFORE it's too late
God bless you, your wife AND this baby
Mr Cuc

Hello Mr self-centered ... I mean Eric

Oh don't I just love that title (YOUR title that is) ... but there's something that's not sitting well there .... Oh , I get it ... "DONT .... try to change ...OUR decision " .... I thought "our" involved more than one person , (what do I know) .

Like our brother Cuc mentioned .... UNLESS you have some "good" reason(s) other than your own "comfort" (which , by the way I very much doubt ....'hint' : snooping around your wife's thread -behind her back - I bet) .

This is the bottom line of this whole mess that YOU made for yourself .... If life does not mean anything to you , why don't you make the same dicision with your own , and leave everyone else's alone .

My experience is that the child is never forgotten. Instead of joy mixed with all the expense and frustrations of parenthood, the fetus becomes a ghost. The due date becomes the birthday. And every year it comes around and haunts the parents. At the time of the abortion, the troubles are large and the fetus is small. But as time goes on, the troubles become ancient history, and the ghost lives on. The ghost would have started school, the child would have been a teen, she perhaps would be married now. He would have played football, she would have become a doctor.

The memories accuse and sadden and refuse to die. The fetus dies, but the life that would have been echoes on.

I have lived this sadness with my friends. I do not wish it on anyone. If you give the child up for adoption, then you have no ghost. And if you need closure some day, you can probably get it.

Remember the first time? When you found you were pregnant together? "We're going to have a baby!" and all the images of the future that you had.

This is not different. You want it to be different. But it isn't.

This is to PINE and DEMA
Thankyou does the child really live on could you please explain that?? PLEASE
ERIC

Aborting the tiny soul she has already grown to love will cause a division between the two of you,

Could you allso explain this????

Some things are too wondrous for us to fully understand. We aren't God. I can tell you what I have seen.

It was actually most clear in two different women who had miscarriages. They talked it through because they were not ashamed. (Women who have abortions are usually ashamed.) In both cases, they already had children. In one case, the child was very much wanted by the mother, Karen, and not wanted by the father. In the other, the child was unintended and they had been having difficulty in adjusting to the idea of having another child.

Karen, my friend, lost the child after moving furniture and having a fight with her husband about her pregnancy. She did have self-blame - though she knew that most likely there was something wrong. She talked to me for hours about her feelings of loss. And that continued. He would be walking now. Today is the anniversary of his due date. I think she also called on his second "birthday". It was too early to know that it was a he. But they had two girls.

In the intervening years I knew other women. "My son would be 18 now, he would be going to college." And she had had an abortion and she did know it was a boy. My daughter would be 15. I wonder what she would have looked like. If I had given her up for adoption, I could probably find out.

So many women have had abortions. And there is such sadness. They remember. They track the age of their child. They remember the day so clearly - what they said, what the doctor said, how they felt. The feeling of the emptying of the womb. The loss.

I have heard, "I did it for him. If he loved me he would not have done that to me. Why did I listen?"

The other miscarriage was a couple in my church. They had three girls and a small house and not much money. When she miscarried, they expected to feel loss, but were unprepared for the intensity. Our church doesn't do confessions and professions. But they each at different times asked to do so. They asked for prayers, because they could not recover from this loss. I bought them a lilac bush and a plaque. And they put it in front of their house, on the tree lawn. I had pictured a quiet corner of the back yard for a memorial. And they tried to get pregnant again - to replace the loss. A child who would not have existed except for the other child. Years passed and they adopted from China. And by the time that little girl arrived, they were pregnant with a little boy. This finally gave them peace - because the miscarriage that died had led to the birth of one and the rescue of another. The child had died for something.

My husband could not understand their grief. I told him, that in their minds they had pictured where he would live in their house, where he would go to school and even how they would arrange for his college. They probably had him graduating in their minds. We do that - "You are pregnant" starts that process. The hormones continue it. The hormones of removing a placenta are the most intense. When the placenta is removed the whole body and mind prepare for that baby. The whole body is just washed with the need to nurture. That is why so many women plan on adoption all the way to the end - and then cannot do it. It is not just the sight of their child. It is their body changing them into a nurturing being.

Your wife will never recover from the abortion. Most women don't fully recover from one. And your wife, without a removed placenta, already is in love with her child. With your child. The child you made together.

Eric I think Dema explained this well. At least from a womans point of view I can understand what was shared.

Your wife understands there is a baby inside of her. A real baby! No matter if you or anyone else believes this, it is what she believes and she longs to give this baby a safe home and loving parents.

If you force her to abort this child the child will always be on her mind. She will walk through life with a huge scar on her heart. A scar that you put there so you could have YOUR way. This abortion is YOUR choice. Not hers. You will be forcing a mother to kill her unborn child. So you can live your life your way.

This will put a division between the two of you. Just as her being afraid of being physically harmed by YOU has put a division between the two of you that you may not even be aware is there. A controlling spouse may be able to force a woman to do what he wants by keeping her in fear but real love can never be forced. Your wife wants to love you and she does to a degree but if she felt safe from harm she would be free to love you fully. A love you may have never felt. It is my prayer you repent for mistreating your wonderful wife and that you begin to respect her and protect her from your anger. She is Gods child. When you hurt her, you are hurting GODS CHILD! This does not go unnoticed by God!

God is willing to forgive you for mistreating His daughter. He is willing to heal you of your need to control her and give you a marriage that is more united than you can ever imagine.

OK OK Just let me think about the last two comments....

Im a bit confused????

ok I have read and re-read everything you have all said please tell me if I have understood everything first your saying that it is somthing that was planned for us even before we new we were pregnant.

So do you think God that Im not even sure is real knows us that well, So Ive heard GOD/Jesus are they the same???

Look I got really mad at Gwen (my wife) now we are meant to go for the abortion in 10hrs. Im thinking maybe I should think about it more we still have a week to play with.