Hi futurediary,
Just came across your post. Very sorry to hear about your problems.
The first thing I would say to you is that time is very important. It's always good for dulling our negative emotions; dulling our hurts, disappointments, despair, etc.
So I would suggest you tough your way through the following days, weeks, etc., and let the passage of time do this for you.
In the meantime, I don't want to get all preachy about alcohol, especially since I have had my own on-again, off-again battles with the bottle in the past, but, besides being a (very) short-term escape from one's problems, the ultimate result is that one wakes up the next morning with the same problems, and a possibly quite awful hangover.
I have found a list of bible passages here (see below) that are related to human despair, the emotion, and I hope you might get some encouragement in them.
http://www.openbible.info/topics/despairFurthermore, I would just like to remind you that God loves you, and many of His greatest servants in the bible were plummetted into the depths of despair. It can happen to the best of His people.
We all fall, and we all fail. All that God expects of us is to get back up after each occasion, and to sincerely seek His help in going forward.
God bless you, and best of luck as you work through this.