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I just done reading stepping stone four and this one above all the others really hit home for me. I haven't forgiven myself, nor have I totally forgiven my ex and my friend for what they put me through, even though I said that I forgave them. Should I tell them that I forgive them personally, or do it in secret? I know that the healing process will take a while and I know I am far from being totally healed of what I went through, but I want to be on the right side of God.
To be totally honest, right now, I wish nothing but the worst for them, and I know that it's wrong. I still have anger and strife towards them, but sometimes I find forgiving others completely kind of hard, depending on how deeply they hurt me, even though every sin is the same in God's eyes and it should be the same for me. But I will strive to forgive them totally and completely, no matter how much I hurt, because God only knows my future and theirs. If they are meant to be, then so be it, if not, then oh well. I should let it go and let God handle it.

Hello steve,

I think alot of us have real difficulty with step 4. ( I did )

Goodykos wrote: Should I tell them that I forgive them personally, or do it in secret?

Mar 11:25 But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.

Pray about it and if u feel need to forgive them personally and if that will bring you resolve in the matter than do so. If you can find peace in your heart knowing that you forgave them, well.... God sees your heart brother. From my experience and i dont know the whole story or their personality or standing with God, but if it were me i would be careful not to open yourself up to more hurt that could weighten down your grudge even more. It is in my opinion far more important to protect your relationship with Him by not opening yourself up to more hurt.

God bless u
♥Jill

Hi hun,

You know the only person you are hurting by not forgiving completely and totally is you. See the weight of unforgiveness weighs on us...it makes us a bitter and angry person...see the enemy wants you to think that you are justified in not forgiving because of the way you were hurt...but oh my goodness Steve...that's not what God wants...I mean how many times does God forgive us when we mess up...I can assure you that forgiving and letting go and letting God...will bring you true happiness Steve. God has someone out there for you...just work on your relationship with Him first...and then He can provide you what you really need.

Praying for you

luv ya