it is hard when we start going down the wrong path. I have done things to keep people out of my life and to "feel" protected. Mine involved alcohol. I don't know exactly where this is in the Bible but: "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end that way leads to death." When I went down that path and made mistake after mistake, it seemed the right and easier way to go. That is because I was deceived by the enemy, who is the source of the problem, into seeking immediate relief. When we turn to God again and see the wrong and the mistakes, and yes the sin, our enemy then attacks us through shame and guilt and tells us that we can't be forgiven now...and maybe we continue down the wrong path still. However the truth is, and I know it, if we turn back to God He is ready to forgive and heal. Sometimes it takes time and the "natural" consequences of our sin( like health problems ) are not to be blamed on Him. However we can find healing and peace in that if we will only turn(repent), confess, then obey. God loves to help His children overcome. He has the Power. I don't have to be strong enough anymore. "His strength is made perfect in our weakness"