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after reading through day 4 this morning before work, I realized I would need more time to think about this before I wrote in this journal. And the truth is that I have not forgiven anybody the way I want to be forgiven. Even when I think I have forgiven someone completely I can't forget. I don't know if it is possible for me, as a human, to forgive the way God does. All I can do, and what I did do, was to ask Him to help me forgive them the way He wanted me to do. And then try to forget and move on...and if it does come to my mind again I can ask God and say "Lord I promised to forgive this person, but here it is back again. Please let me forgive and forget again" I know there are folks who have experienced this and if you have any advice or suggestions please let me know.

That is all you can do brother. Keep trying by going to Him for help. I feel it is not in us as human to forgive as we should. We so very much need Him and His help to accomplish this.

I asked Him to soften my heart towards those who have hurt me and indeed He has. That doesn't mean I have to crawl back into harms way. I have not forgotten. But I can now feel compassion for really they have just lost their when they commit offenses against us.

Keep seeking Him. He will get you where He wants you. And actually right now I would bet He is pleased with where you are and hopeful of where you will go. Cause He knows what you once were and what you will be.