Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

My name is Molly, I live in Portland, Oregon. I have been a Christian for about 8 years. I have also already been divorced 2 times at the age of 33, because I keep marrying men that I do not love. I feel like I am always so desperate to not be alone that I will take a perfectly good man and try to stuff him into the image of what I think I want him to be to make me happy. I get these bouts of anxiety that are almost crippling. I can't focus, I can't take care of myself properly, all I can do is think about being alone. I am currently dating a man who is actually very wonderful except that he is a little closed with his feelings like most men but has very noble intentions and is a very kind man. My pattern of trying to make him into what I want has already started after only 3 months. He can't give me enough attention and I am constantly thinking he doesn't want me if he is away from me emotionally for too long. I am driving him absolutely nuts and he is retreating emotionally which is not what I want to do but I just can't seem to stop this crazy cycle!! I pick fights with him so that he will pay attention to me. Can someone please tell me that they have been through this too, how do I stop being so selfish?!?!?

Hello goodgolly. Glad to have you here at the Oasis. I to have been an emotional wreck trying to make a human fit the God sized hole in my heart. I encourage you to seek God fully. Pray continuously and seek Him through these stepping stones you are doing, other studies, worship music, church, and fellowship.

Hope you come into the chat room sometime. It's a great place to fellowship and get closer to God. He truly is what your heart is desperately seeking!

God bless and keep you.
He loves you sis and so do I!

Everything is going to be alright. You're in the right place.

Familiar? Oh yes. I married my first husband because I didn't want to be alone and he seemed a little better than my boyfriend before him, at least as far as keepin employment and supporting the family. But it wasn't the right reason to marry. After the divorce I was severly depressed and hated to be alone. Like u I did the same thing .

So yes I can relate n u are not alone.

I agree with pine in doing the counseling steps. It will bring u closer to God and strengthen your relationship with Him if u sincerely apply the steps!

I pray that u will find what you are looking for in Him

God bless n welcome to Oasis.

Love,
Jill

Thank you ladies,
I'm excited about the steps in this program because I have something to focus on besides him. My prayer is that God will take away the anxiety when him and I are apart and help me quiet my mind when I'm alone. Thanks for the support, I think this is going to be really good for me!
Molly

Welcome to the Oasis goodgolly1977. We are delighted to have you here. So you are suffocating your boyfriend huh? Well I tell you what...I know someone who would love to be suffocated in your love...His name is Jesus! I do believe you are on a path of helping you focus more on the things of God...and I know Jesus is gonna be there wanting your attention and giving you lots back...so hold on to your boots...cuz the race is just beginning

Take care and God Bless

Welcome to Oasis

I can relate to your situation. I was married to a man who loved me dearly but it was never enough. I seemed to constantly be looking for something more. I kept telling him that I wanted us to be closer. I really think what I needed and missing was christ in my life. I have learned so much and feel closer to God from being in christian counseling. My ex and I are talking now and by the grace of God we may be able to repair our relationship but I must keep God first. Please continue with your steps, you will see things differently. Remember "Love"

God Bless you and keep you