Stepping Stone 1
Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 2:57 amHi Everyone,
It is nice to be on this new journey in my life. I was referred to the Christianity Oasis website by a family member
I'll tell you a little about myself. I am 47 yrs old, I have 3 grown children who are married and currently all 3 children and their spouses live with me. I suffer from depression for which I am seeing a councilor (I just got a new councilor and she is a Christian.. I am thrilled). I told her about the Stepping Stone Journey and she thought it was an excellent idea
I have had a fairly rough life (especially over the last year) and have a lot to deal with. I will give you some info so you better understand where I'm coming from.
I had a pretty bad childhood of abuse by my 1st stepfather between the ages of 5 yrs - 13 yrs old. I married at the age of 16 yrs because I was pregnant. The marriage lasted for 22 yrs and we had 3 kids. He decided he wanted to "experience" a little more in life and was unfaithful so he divorced me. (I did forgive him and we are still friends).
I gave my life to the Lord about a year before our divorce and I relied on God whole heartedly during this time and it was awesome I cherished every moment of every day with HIM
I met my second husband at church (he is an ordained minister). I read about being unevenly yoked in the Bible so I prayed about it before marrying him. Once married, everything began to spin out of control because little by little he revealed himself to be a controller, manipulator, deceiver, and a user. I thought, how could God allow this to happen to me because HE knew the desolation of my first marriage crushed me? I figured there must be a lesson I needed to learn in here somewhere.
Marriage 2 was doomed before it every began. (needless to say after 6 1/2 yrs of being used, pitted against my own children, stripped of my self esteem, and put down I had had enough (the last straw was when he was caught with a man). It blew my mind and I filed for divorce and it was granted 1/10.
During my second marriage, I began getting severely depressed and later in the marriage, I stopped going to church because I could no longer stand to hear him preach when I knew what went on outside the church. It was like he had 2 personalities. I read my Bible but I found myself slipping a little further from the Lord even though I tried desperately to hold on to Him.
My second divorce was even harder on me because of the circumstance and the infidelity but inspite of all he did to me, I still feel sorry for him and help him out. He has no car, no home, no money, etc. I know the Lord wants us to help those less fortunate but where does the line get drawn between helping because as a Christian I desire to help people and continuing to be used by him for self gain?
My children are all involved in the WOW (World of Warcraft) game and it really bothers me but they are all adults and I have no control of what games they play anymore. I try to give them subtle hints that it really bothers me but the message isn't getting through. I love them all but am ready for them to get on with their own lives apart from me. They are all here because of the economy and the inability to meet the expenses out on their own. It's a catch 22.
Then on 9/11/10 my 2nd Stepfather (who had been a part of my life since I was 15 yrs old) died a horrible death while working on the water alone. This has been totally devastating and I am having a terrible time dealing with it. I actually found myself mad with him for leaving me.
All of these things are getting me down, the crowed house, the control the 2nd husband has over me, and now the loss of the only real father figure I've had.
I know the Lord can ease the pain I have and set me on the straight and narrow path once again and I desire the strong relationship I once had with God but in order to have it, I must let go of the pain inside me and began living my life completely for Him again.
I am having a real issue with forgiveness right now. Forgiveness for my second husband, forgiveness for my stepfather for leaving me, etc. I truly believe this journey with the Stepping Stones will help me to come to terms with things in my life (past and present) and have the closer walk I want with God once again.
The most important lesson I have learned in Stepping Stone one is NOT to hold all of these pains inside but to openly share them with others as well as with God Himself. God has forgiven me of my sins so I need to be willing to forgive other who have wronged me as well, though it will take me a long time to forget. There is power in Prayer and I know that Jesus is the ONLY WAY to LIFE.
I apologize for this being so long but it all just came flooding out.
My Daily Prayer:
Father, I pray for each person and their situations on this site. I thank you that you provide us with outlets to share our Love for you and our struggles in this life. Lord, help me with each of these daily stepping stone and help me to depend soley on you for the guidance I need to be free from the things in life that weigh me down. Help me to see the error of my ways and forgive me for all my sins. AMEN
It is nice to be on this new journey in my life. I was referred to the Christianity Oasis website by a family member
I'll tell you a little about myself. I am 47 yrs old, I have 3 grown children who are married and currently all 3 children and their spouses live with me. I suffer from depression for which I am seeing a councilor (I just got a new councilor and she is a Christian.. I am thrilled). I told her about the Stepping Stone Journey and she thought it was an excellent idea
I have had a fairly rough life (especially over the last year) and have a lot to deal with. I will give you some info so you better understand where I'm coming from.
I had a pretty bad childhood of abuse by my 1st stepfather between the ages of 5 yrs - 13 yrs old. I married at the age of 16 yrs because I was pregnant. The marriage lasted for 22 yrs and we had 3 kids. He decided he wanted to "experience" a little more in life and was unfaithful so he divorced me. (I did forgive him and we are still friends).
I gave my life to the Lord about a year before our divorce and I relied on God whole heartedly during this time and it was awesome
I cherished every moment of every day with HIM
I met my second husband at church (he is an ordained minister). I read about being unevenly yoked in the Bible so I prayed about it before marrying him. Once married, everything began to spin out of control because little by little he revealed himself to be a controller, manipulator, deceiver, and a user. I thought, how could God allow this to happen to me because HE knew the desolation of my first marriage crushed me? I figured there must be a lesson I needed to learn in here somewhere.
Marriage 2 was doomed before it every began. (needless to say after 6 1/2 yrs of being used, pitted against my own children, stripped of my self esteem, and put down I had had enough (the last straw was when he was caught with a man). It blew my mind and I filed for divorce and it was granted 1/10.
During my second marriage, I began getting severely depressed and later in the marriage, I stopped going to church because I could no longer stand to hear him preach when I knew what went on outside the church. It was like he had 2 personalities. I read my Bible but I found myself slipping a little further from the Lord even though I tried desperately to hold on to Him.
My second divorce was even harder on me because of the circumstance and the infidelity but inspite of all he did to me, I still feel sorry for him and help him out. He has no car, no home, no money, etc. I know the Lord wants us to help those less fortunate but where does the line get drawn between helping because as a Christian I desire to help people and continuing to be used by him for self gain?
My children are all involved in the WOW (World of Warcraft) game and it really bothers me but they are all adults and I have no control of what games they play anymore. I try to give them subtle hints that it really bothers me but the message isn't getting through. I love them all but am ready for them to get on with their own lives apart from me. They are all here because of the economy and the inability to meet the expenses out on their own. It's a catch 22.
Then on 9/11/10 my 2nd Stepfather (who had been a part of my life since I was 15 yrs old) died a horrible death while working on the water alone. This has been totally devastating and I am having a terrible time dealing with it. I actually found myself mad with him for leaving me.
All of these things are getting me down, the crowed house, the control the 2nd husband has over me, and now the loss of the only real father figure I've had.
I know the Lord can ease the pain I have and set me on the straight and narrow path once again and I desire the strong relationship I once had with God but in order to have it, I must let go of the pain inside me and began living my life completely for Him again.
I am having a real issue with forgiveness right now. Forgiveness for my second husband, forgiveness for my stepfather for leaving me, etc. I truly believe this journey with the Stepping Stones will help me to come to terms with things in my life (past and present) and have the closer walk I want with God once again.
The most important lesson I have learned in Stepping Stone one is NOT to hold all of these pains inside but to openly share them with others as well as with God Himself. God has forgiven me of my sins so I need to be willing to forgive other who have wronged me as well, though it will take me a long time to forget. There is power in Prayer and I know that Jesus is the ONLY WAY to LIFE.
I apologize for this being so long but it all just came flooding out.
My Daily Prayer:
Father, I pray for each person and their situations on this site. I thank you that you provide us with outlets to share our Love for you and our struggles in this life. Lord, help me with each of these daily stepping stone and help me to depend soley on you for the guidance I need to be free from the things in life that weigh me down. Help me to see the error of my ways and forgive me for all my sins. AMEN
