A Lonely Walk To Heaven
Posted: Sat Jul 17, 2010 9:05 pmToday I sat alone in my room afraid of the world around me. I felt as though it was me against this big big world. I felt isolated as if I was drowning in my own thoughts. I have been in and out of the psychiatric hospitals. Doctors have giving me a label that I don't won't to accept. I am schizophrenic and suffer from depression. I was recently diagnose as well with diabetes on March 9, 2010. I have doctor bills that I can't pay and medicines that I need to function with that I am unable to afford. I have had trouble with finding a job. My family which includes my dad and my aunt are plotting to kick me out of there houses. I am a penny away from homelessness. I am struggling to keep up with my grades in school. Life is going down and down. I struggle with my past because I lost my mom to breast cancer when I was fifteen. My mind has never grown up since then and I feel as though I'm still fifteen. However, I have to face myself in the mirror each morning and tell myself that I am twenty-four years old and I can't live with my family forever. So I tried to heal from it all, but five years later my brother died from gang violence. I stop functioning and doing anything seems meaningless to me. I have lost hope in everything around me. I am faced with myself and I am faced with the world around me. I buried a piece of my heart with my mother and a piece with my brother and I have never been the same since. I have prayed and cried but there hasn't been any help yet. I am losing hope and just about giving up all together.
