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Step 1

PostPosted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 9:51 pm
by Guest
ok...it's step one for me....a huge step for me.

Well lets see....

I'm supposed to open up and be honest with everyone....including myself...this could take some time :)

Lets see....I'm battling with Depression...one of which is a generation thing...which in conversation with my 7 year old today he's headed down the same path :(

I am tired and weary....i know i can't give up and that God has a special plan for me....just don't know what it is and what purpose i have.

I struggle with friendships and with feeling accepted....even in church as well. I know it's just me...but i can't help feeling all alone and unwanted

I really struggle with feeling alone and abandoned..... I know God has never left me...even when He should have... He is the one that keeps drawing me back and giving me strength right when i need it. My father left, my ex-husband left, bf's have come and gone, my g-pa recently left, my mom died about 8 years ago....it was a good thing my ex left...and was in some way orchestrated by God, my ex's decisions, and my prayers for peace...he was an atheist and wanted me to conform...also abusive....ect.

i have nothing but regrets and lost time....it's funny i always wanted a testimony when i was growing up in church....now that i have one...i don't share. God has been very merciful and full of compassion for me...and looking back and going through things now i see that. But i still struggle every day, moment, and second.

i tried to do things my way *Rolling* like that was a good idea....i have since learned that i need to do things God's way....but i am lacking direction in areas....right now i have to wait on God and that is difficult for me

I am also struggling with reading my bible and praying....i don't know why it is so hard for me right now....it is a constant struggle....i can pray for everyday things....but to really spend time in prayer and communion with God is difficult and something i've only been able to do at church

well, i guess that wasn't sooo hard....i'll have to wait until tomorrow to find out step 2.

PostPosted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 12:53 am
by Lani
Hey Psalms, *Wave*

Awesome first day sis!!! *ohyeah*

You did very well getting it out girl!!

Prayers are with you on this journey.

Thanks so much for allowing us to walk with you!!

See you for Step 2!

Peace and Luv in Christ,


*BlessYou* Lani


*BearLove*

PostPosted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 6:34 am
by momof3
Hi Psalms, sis..

Oh your story sounds so much like mine. Could it be that sometimes we spend so much time living in the past regrets, we cant see the now? Kinda like the "forrest for the trees" thing? I know i did. It was one of the tools the enemy used against me to keep me in that place...the prison and battlefield in my own mind. Forgiveness comes...even forgiveness for yourself when you realize deep down where the soul meets the spirit, that Jesus has already forgiven you for all the mistakes you have ever made. Its one thing to say we are forgiven, and quite another to KNOW it.

Theres still a lil "stranger in a crowd" thing for me too...but thats ok. Dont let the enemy tell you its because of you. As you walk these steps, you will begin to see you through His eyes. Jesus has a way of showing us the truth...the way He sees us...and there is freedom in that.

Its not easy, but keep going..it will not only be so good for you, who the Lord gave that precious little boy to as a mom is beautiful....and the truth will be so good for him, too.

Awesome first step. sis. One day at a time. Am with you all the way in this...and more importantly, Jesus is too...and He has so much He wants to show you.

in Jesus,
love momo *Pray*

PostPosted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 6:59 am
by Dora
Hello Psalm *Wave*

It's great to see you here.

I just wanted to tell you, that God loves you, unconditionally. What ever has happened in the past, is just that, in the past. You are today a new creature, created in Christ Jesus. The old has gone the new has come.

2Cr 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Past sins, past abuse, no longer belongs to you, but the old woman. You psalm are a new person. :) Through Christ Jesus. Washed white as snow. Made pure and whole in the site of God.

Focus on God, and saturate your mind with how much he loves you and these others things will begin to work their way out. It takes time. So be patient. God is patient as you, his child, whom he dearly loves grows. The struggle is to be patient with ourselves.

You are on the right path with this study. Keep at it.

God bless you. Sending up prayers for you as you walk this path toward healing *hug*

PostPosted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 7:58 am
by mlg
Hey Psalms welcome to the counseling steps. So that was a great first step. You've shared so many things that you want to work on, and with Jesus help sis...you can heal and grow.

I wanted to mention how you feel alone and abandoned. No matter how many people may come and go in your life, you know that Jesus will never leave you nor forsake you. As you work on your walk with Jesus you will feel less alone and more fulfilled. I can't wait to see what He has in store for you as you do the steps.

I know this may not have been easy to step out on step 1, but I know you will be glad you did. Looking forward to your step 2.

Take care and God Bless

thank you

PostPosted: Tue Sep 29, 2009 10:09 pm
by Guest
Thank you all for the encouragement.
Now I know I can move on to step 2. ;)

PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 9:46 am
by mlg
Looking forward to your post.

luv ya

stuck on step 2 for now

PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:15 am
by Guest
wasn't able to focus on step 2 today let alone move on to step 3.

Had a difficult day. I'm hoping that tomorrow is better. Had an awesome service tonight though....I know the enemy fought me tooth and nail to keep me from that service, but I made it.

PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:45 am
by momof3
its ok, sis. try again tomorrow. know that the enemy doesnt want you to heal..he doesnt want you to see the truth or to be free from your past...but, God is greater in you. He is in control. God bless you, sis and see ya when you get here. just dont stay down too long. dont give up.

love ya in Jesus *hug*
momo *Halo*

PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 6:31 am
by goldieluvs
awww hiya psalms im kinda jumping in a lil late. Awesome job with the first post. I could relate to lots of it. It took me a while to forgive. I think its cuz we are human and are only able to process so much at a time. Forgiveness does come if ya keep processing and working on it. I healed from many things, but it wasnt until i came back to the Lord and started coming here that one day my eyes were opened, as much as God had forgiven me, i needed to do the same.

As far as depression goes I know you are struggling with that, There's a recent post in coping with mental illness forum called spiral downward that while i talked a lil about depression, also listed some coping skills and others have started joining in. Pop in and take a look. I *Pray* you will find some things that help.

And its ok that you weren't able to really process step two. You went in and you tried. Sometimes there is alot of info to process in these studies although they are totally awesome. And if you allready depressed it is doubly hard cuz if youre like me when your depressed its hard for your mind to grasp concepts or concentrate (well im like that when manic too, lol )

Be kind to yourself, the steps are here to help. They will too if ya work em and are open.

And i just gotta echo wat everyone else said, You are NOT alone sis.

GBU sis
Keep on a keeping on
*HippiePeace*

PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 7:47 am
by mlg
Hey sis, that will happen sometimes, just pick up tomorrow where you left off...there will even be times that you might want to sit on a step for an extra day or so, as to absorb more of the step.

Tomorrow holds a new day full of Hope just for you.

luv ya

PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 8:07 am
by Dora
Yeah Psalm you won the battle *Clap*

You know he will try to keep you from this study as well.

Don't let him win this one. :)

Stand strong and get to the study as soon as you can.

*ReallyConfused* That reminds me of something I need to get back to and quit letting the enemy keep me from. Interesting how even in our struggles we can be used by God.

You are really doing great sis. You are going to love the study. I had to read step three over a few times. And did the counseling completely through twice. As some things just didn't sink in the first time. Some things were just to difficult to let go of in a day.