Christianity Oasis Forum

[Mackenaw]

Hello Gare,

God bless you this day.

I, too, understand what you are going through with your mother, as my elderly mother and stepdad live with my husband and me, and we are their care givers. It is difficult to watch as their personalities change and they lose abilities, both physical and mental, and even harder to bear when the roles are switched -- they now being the child and we the adult/parent. But, God is with us, and He will give us all that we need to overcome, and to make their final days/weeks/months/years as peaceable as we can.

In regards to the man whose friendship was short lived, I share the following scriptures with you, in hopes that they bring you peace and inspire you.

I Peter 2:19-23 (NIV)

19 For it is commendable if someone bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because they are conscious of God. 20 But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. 21 To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

22 He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.

23 When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.

I Peter 3:12-14 (KJV)

12For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.

13And who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good?

14But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled;


I Peter 4:12-13 (KJV)


(12) Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trials which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
(13) But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when His glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.


Stay strong in The Lord, Gare, and keep singing praises to Him. He hears your praises and is well pleased.

Gare, prayers continue to rise for you and for yours. May God's blessed and perfect will be done.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[xxJILLxx]

Gare,

God bless you and your mother.

I have not dealt with dementia and alzheimer's in a family member, but i do administer care and companionship to some of those who are stricken with the disease in my work environment. I know it is not an easy task and can become very draining and challenging when caring for loved ones or others whom God has put in our paths that have this disease. I work 2 shifts with a lovely but very challenging lady at my place of employment and after the day of working with her, I am exhausted. It is very hard work and takes a toll on our mind and emotions as well. I comfort family members who have a hard time processing the disease, and everyone is a little different how they handle the effects of the disease on their loved one. Some are stronger than others which enables them to be more available to their loved ones. Others can be guilt ridden, for no reason of their own except not knowing how to cope and process the feelings. Some dont like to see their loved ones in this condition, they are not able to handle it emotionally. The list goes on and on as everyone is different. As a caregiver I would like to applaud you on your dedication to your mother and the love and light you provide to her. As a friend i would remind you to take some time to maintain and take care of yourself. As a sister in Christ i will keep you all in prayers as i know how difficult it is for ALL of yous.

God bless you Gare


♥Jill

[Gare]

Felt led to come here this morning and pour out my heart once again. God led me to this site for healing and I see now clearly where that healing was to be at this time. Originally it was secret sin that I have but that He is healing and moving me away from in getting healing here over other things to make me strong in HIM. He knew what was going to happen, he knew I was gonna get hurt and he knew I needed this sight to come to and he brought it to me.

He even worked out as I changed the title of this blog from silent problem to silent witness for it's through my witness of being silent that I got hurt and that I need healing over and to learn how to let go and let God. Sometimes this is a process of building character, of making us stronger in him and being able to serve others through him.

I am scheduled to sing tonight for the residents at the nursing home and this isn't gonna be easy for me to do this evening. Why you say well the constant reminder of my friend of which I call him but know we aren't and will never be friends again. God orchestrated us being friends for me to show HIM that his way isn't right and he is so blinded by a host of spirits not of God that my friend can't see this.

I know it is not my burden to bear but I can't do to him what he did to me and in his sick way of thinking, he has thrown me away and yet I think what he did and said to me is what is gonna evidently happen to him when he realizes the truth of what he proclaims is not coming from my God. My God's time is not wasted, God will not throw a praying person as I am into a reprobate mind and God would not cause so much confusion and disorder as I have witnessed from him.

There is the possibility that he will be there, I sang last month and he didn't come but lately I have been seeing him there, his car has been in the parking lot and after last Saturdays incident sitting there I decided that it's best I not attend events there that he is also at which is a shame in that my mom won't go unless I go with her and now because of what he did basically she can't go to the programs.

I'm talking about this here cause I need healing and even though I have been told here to let go of this, that it isn't my burden to carry, I need to tell someone and posting here is talking out my feelings bout this in hopes of healing over this. This blog isn't just for whomever is out there to read but it is also expressing myself to God in type as I know is easier for me to do and helps me out. I'm here on this site, I was drawn to this site to heal and it's been this sites prayers lifted up for me that have made me stronger and that keeps me coming back.

God wants me here and he doesn't do anything by accident.

Folks in the nursing home know what this guy did in my mom's room with laying of a hands in her room which was a violation of her rights. He went in her room without permission saying that God gave him the authority to do so and that God is a bigger authority over anything I want for my mom or anything that he should want. This was his words in a "hate" email he sent to me attacking me both spiritually and physically with calling me a stalker and threatening to report me to my job, my wife and my church cause he claims the email response I sent to him was a violation of his privacy when he had me blocked and the email got through his block.

Could it be that God didn't want what I wrote to him in response to his hate email to me to be blocked. Maybe God wanted him to read what I wrote. I know it was meant for me to write it, I know and feel strong that it was to share scripture, the truth in the situation that this guy doesn't share and has misinterpreted. I wrote the letter with the whole concept of forgiveness but have since learned that I am dealing with a religious spirit which he says I am now which I am not, I want this behind me and I tried to work out forgiveness in this email but this guy isn't concerned with forgiveness, it's more of judging and condemning that he appears to be doing to me.

I know it appears that I have a big burden that I am carrying that I don't need to carry but for me this is how I feel in this that this guy is dangerous in that he doesn't know what he is doing in praying and laying hands on people. I have learned that he had an lady who dabbles in Indian medicines and Indian spirituality to pray for him and lay hands on him and supposedly heal him when he had cancer back in the spring of this year. I feel that he needs to be banned from sharing his beliefs in the nursing home for these people do not need any confusion but they need truth and he offers a misconstrued view of God.

I also feel it isn't fair for me and mom not to be able to participate in events because he is there. I think if he wishes that we pretend he and his family do not exist that he should be the one to not exist. My family, my brothers wanted me to have a restraining order taking out on him to keep him from ever going to my mom's room again and as I have learned who he is, I feel if he feels God is telling him to pray for someone then I think he would override anything to do it and it wouldn't matter that the nursing home administration has banned him from sharing his views with anyone. See last Saturday night he prayed in front of the entire group gathered there and yet the administrator told me when they confronted him about laying hands on mom whom he confessed to them he did, he now says all he did was hold her hand and pray but they told me that he said he did do what I told them he told me that he did and that was lay hands on her and anoint her with oil and pray that he is not allowed to pray in the nursing home or share his religious views with anyone. They banned him and told them that I could press charges against him for violating mom's rights, see mom doesn't believe in laying on of hands, she wasn't taught this and I know her views and if she was in her right mind, she wouldn't have let him do this. He violated her rights and I could turn him in for praying publicly as he did for that is going against what the nursing home told him he could not do.

So I have written out my thoughts here and maybe some of you reading may not agree with what I have written but I needed to express myself here about this. I know God does not want me to hurt over this but I have a hard time understanding why I feel so persecuted over this, as if I am the bad guy here when all I have done is what I truly felt God wanted me to do and I have tried hard to follow the scripture in how to respond to this situation but it is so hard to let go of it.

I am praying that he doesn't come to hear me sing tonight, I truly can't see that he would but with the way for two weeks now he has shown up then I wouldn't be surprised to see him in the audience tonight and if he is, I will do my best to do what I feel God has called me do and that is to sing for these people. I am not there to entertain him but to entertain the residents and entertaining them as I do is what God has called me to do.

I had a burden on my heart from the beginning since mom moved in that the residents needed something besides church for every event that they have in the nursing home and my singing for them is very popular and they like it cause it isn't church. A lot of services to me sound like a funeral and for me I am offering them something to come out of their rooms and be entertained for an hour and to forget bout the humdrum of the nursing home. To hear a song or two that takes em back to a happier time of their life as I try to sing songs that they know from their era.

So I pray God leads me to truly let go of this and that I experience his peace over this entire problem. I am learning to lay this guy at God's feet for I have to answer only for myself and I have been very careful to do what God has wanted me to do in this.

As I finished typing this, as I hit the submit button and submitted this, this morning, my phone rang and it was a new friend the Lord gave me. A true minister this time who God sent to me to help me through this and he and I talked and I was very much in detail with him as to what has happened.

So I now feel led to do this.

Lord God, I come to you asking that you help me in this situation. Lord I pray for this 'friend' who hurt me, for this person who now claims me as an enemy. Lord I don't know how to pray or what to pray for, I don't but I ask that you help me see and you take this away and work through this in all that you do, that you make it so Lord that his words to me in saying that he wants me to pretend that he doesn't exist, Lord if it be in your will Lord I pray that he become non existent in the nursing home, that he be confined if this is your will Lord, not what my heart or my flesh wants in this but what you want Lord. If he truly wants not to exist to someone, to me Lord then I ask Lord that you work it out for reality for him cause Lord I can't do it, I can't not let my mom not exist, I can't not exist cause I do exist and I am real and you are real to me and you flow your love on me so powerfully till it radiates out of me and it's nothing I do but what you do. Lord I pray that you let your words prevail in my friend. I pray that your truth be known to him and Lord if he truly isn't saved, if he truly has a spirit upon him or in him that is not the spirit of you, then Lord I pray that eyes will be opened and the veil be lifted and your truth shine through. I pray Lord that you heal my heart in this and give me the peace that only you can give that is truly beyond my understanding. I love you Jesus and I ask this prayer in your precious and holiest of holiest names. Jesus. Amen and amen.

[Gare]

God answered this prayer this evening somewhat for I heard truth radiate and tears flow down this guy's mom who is hurt over all this and I spoke with her somewhat and she said that it wasn't me she was hurt over, that her son the guy who attacked had hurt her for she said to me that his actions, his words that he has told her about me, she said he doesn't act like a Christian at all and it breaks her heart but you know what I told her I was taking a risk in talking to her, that her son has requested that I not but I went around after i sang and hunged and shook hands with all the residents in attendance and it just so happened that she was last for me to speak to and she poured out her heart to me and I spoke truth to her, she is in the nursing home on dialysis for diabetes and her mind is very clear unlike some of the other residents there.

She said Gary you did nothing wrong and I knew it from the beginning from all he told me and it was he who hurt you and I wish he could act like what he says he is. She says he is so confusing and that her heart breaks for him. She said she could see Jesus as I sang and she could feel the spirit moving as I sang. Now I sang mostly secular songs, I consider myself an entertainer and I sang only three gospel songs at the close of the concert but I did notice her face, her eyes and I could see the spirit moving on her as I sang. It was truly a blessing to me to see and God answered prayer by her telling me what she did. It's kind like this to me. God is doing something here and I don't know what it is but it makes me wonder if...if I am suppose to completely let go. I mean maybe, like God has always done with me but maybe the way God has gone after me time and time again in my life and affirmed his presence in my life and was always there, maybe, but I don't know at this point but maybe God is trying hard to reach him amidst all this and it's gonna take a breaking point for him to wake up and as I see it a lot of showered prayer but it may be the prayers of his mom that are needed more so now than ever.

But I do know this that the path to letting go is resting firmly in him and letting him carry you and let go to him. This was a step in that direction, that direction to Jesus.

[Gare]

"But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." – Matthew 23: 12

[momof3]

Amen Gare. God knows him so much better than we do. He also knows how to reach him...what its gonna take to reach his heart. This is between him and God, his relationship with God is, afterall, between him and God. You have said and done everything you felt the Lord was leading you to do. Now, its between him and God.

Praying for you.

In Jesus,
luv momo

[Gare]

Well I haven't been here in a while but this past week has been a busy week for me. I worked two 12 plus days at work and on Tuesday after working on my feet from 7:30 in the morning till 9:30 at night I came home to discover someone had broken into my house stole several items.

When I pulled in the security light was burnt out and so I just came in and i was tired and said I would fix it later and let it remain dark out back but when I came to put my cellphone down at my pc I noticed my video camera were missing and helen who was here if the cat had got up there and done something. I said honey there's no way that all those video camera be gone like that and then she went in the bedroom and discover that several items of her jewelry was missing but she said the doors wore locked and then I went in the kitchen and saw how they got in.

We called the police and the next day at lunch her class ring was found in a pawn shop.

I do not expect to get any of my stuff back but I know this attack was the devil trying to stop me from doing what I do as ministry here online. One thing that rose out of this was that they took my microphone I sing with, the one thing I do is sing and sing online and I use, I sing into that mike and they took it and I know the devil wanted me to stop and to feel knocked down in this but he can't win.

See Monday I had a new friend I met through the prayer group call and talk with me for a long time and he said Gary can you feel it and I said what, he said can you feel the call on you from God to be a preacher and I did feel it and have felt it but never grapped truly a hold of it till he said it and then I began walking toward that. Eddie said to Gary what are you afraid of and I couldn't think of anything in this that I was afraid of untill the break in

I was attacked and everytime I take a stand I get attacked and I could have gotten mad and upset real bad. I was deeply hurt and devasted and felt violated but I didn't this time and I heard God's voice through this to be calm and that it would be ok and God has answered prayer. The prayer group on Facebook is truly a good thing for me and this is where God wants me to be for now and yes I am somewhat a pastor of this flock of people HE drew together in that group. It was His group from day one and it will always be HIS group. Facebook Prayer Group is kind of like a church online.

See Saturday one of the members posted a small devotional about Sunday being Pastor Appreciation Sunday and she said Gare is it we can do for you and I responded saying I wasn't a pastor but only the administrator of the group but God began showing me with devotions to write and I guess in some ways they are sermons and when this member posted this, I guess in a true since I am the leader, afterall it was me whom God spoke to and said do this for me.

God has dealt with me in letting go here and he has moved me stronger into ministry here. So my video cameras are gone, he'll replace them with something even better and I already got another microphone and one that was better than the one I had and in a sense I got a new camera too for I went upgrade my cellphone to a smartphone which I know He wanted me to do cause I now can minister and pray for those in the prayer group during the day and have access to the group at all times.

See what I learned in this is Satan has done some work here in trying to make me a defeated Christian but after it went on long enough and with this that happened with my friend who hurt me so and attacked me so well what Satan did was make me stronger and as God molds me and keeps watch over me and I know that everything I have and everything I do is God's well Satan can take away but my God loves me and protects me and He will remove Satan from the picture here. I am God's kid and anyone who messes with me or hurts me or anyone else of God's kids need take heed for no one wants to mess with my daddy. I love you God, I truly do and the peace that you offer well is the peace that passeth all understanding.

God has answered prayers and we again are seeing miracles. For one upon this happening how quickly we had a suspect in the crime. It happened on Tuesday night and it was someone who may have known us and knew that we don't have an alarm and I have to say that we kind of suspect this friend who hurt me but he does smoke pot and he does know my neighbors who are another story in itself but the cops think my neighbors may have done this. See a guy moved in and bought the house next door trying to run a halfway house and although the neighborhood watch has tried to stop this we can't cause it's his property and he has done nothing illegal but let theives and drunks into his home for shelter but there is always strange people living in that house and the cops suspected them from right off. What is strange is how i know my friend who told me he smoked pot said he would pray them away for me if I wanted him to course his prayers for that didn't work and I know he knows several of the folks that are in and out of that house for he has told me. My friend who did what he did to mom also was in a motorcycle gang at one time.

I'm not accusing him but I think he could have had a hand in this cause he knew me, he and I were friends and he knew my dog had died and if Blue was still alive the thieves would probably be dead cause my part wolf, husky and chow mixed breed would have definitely left a few bites on these people who invaded my home. And the thieves took what I use for ministry and the strange thing about pulling the microphone out of the audio equipment and taking it said it was attack on the one thing I do to minister to other people unselfishly and I know my friend is somewhat jealous of me but I am not accusing him and I don't know, this is just a feeling here for me that he knew me too well and could have had a connection in this.

There so much about the crime that points to someone knowing our routine till the time when they could have done this.

Anyway through this God has answered our prayers and led me to learn to truly let go and let God for I have let go of what was taken and I truly don't want the stuff back and don't expect to get it back but yet something says Gare, God's gonna give it all back for these thieves are gonna pay. Vengeance is mine sayeth the Lord and I don't have to worry for it's in God's hands.

One strong miracle and what I see God do in my wife's life and how he answered prayer here for her was when she let go of her sentimental belongings. See everything they took from her was something of personal value to her, she saw everything they took and they took her jewelry in a way that if I looked at her stuff I couldn't tell anything was gone but she could and she knew every piece that was gone but one thing that was gone after the break in was something more value to her than any of the items she wore and that was her cat.

The thieves left the window in the kitchen open, I noticed yesterday that they took the screen, see it's a storm window and some of the windows have just a half screen but this one had a full window screen and it is gone and I guess they took it so that they wouldn't leave anything with fingerprints on it cause the screen is not here. When I saw how they got in, see they took the trash can that we put on the street up to the window and they took my chairs in the backyard and climbed in and I think they may want to come back since they took that screen, not sure but I have alarms on the window now that if it a jarred an alarm will sound and I put more lighting on the outside of my house. The window they came in had a window fan in it and they put it back in place to make it appear they weren't in here but there was a place or two on the side open that the cat could have gotten out of we thought.

We thought Bug as Helen calls him was gone and went out that window and we called him that night after the cops left, we searched out back, under our cars and in the bushes with flashlights but didn't find him. Helen spent the next day looking for him but couldn't find him. Her cat being gone which to her is like her baby and truly she loves her pets like they are her children well she thought maybe the thieves stole him too cause we have a feeling that a woman was in the house that did this, not sure but I think one was in the crime. I just feel that.

Anyway I think it was Wednesday night and I had come home at mid day after working such long hours at work for two days and late in the evening I was tired and see Helen spends one night a week taking care of her brother and sister who are mentally challenged and on Wednesday night she is usually not home so she was leaving to go stay with Janice as we say even though she is with her brother too and right before she left she said, Gary I can live with losing my stuff but it breaks my heart to lose Bug, my baby after this. If I just knew where he was I would be alright.

Well, Helen let go of her things. She not realizing that she actually did, just as I did, let go and let God. When you have nothing else but God that is what it is all about well.

The next morning I got up and as usually went to pc and went to the prayer group then I called my new friend who by the way is a pastor and I know God orchestrated our friendship cause Eddie needs me and the Holy Spirit did this cause he and I are connected through the great Comforter and I know this, well he called or I called him, not so sure but we talked and then I left for work and just as I turned around in the kitchen there sat Bug drinking water.

He didn't go out the window, he was scared and had been hiding in our house somewhere, we still don't know where he went but he knew his home was being invaded and he was scared and he had to go hide untill he felt safe again, cats have this strange enstink but upon seeing him I picked him up and said right off, thank you Jesus. You gave him back to us and I called Helen and said to her, guess what, Bug's home, he never left or went out the window and all she could say back to me was Praise God, I know i pray for him and God answered my prayer.

See God has done some work this week too in my life. He answered prayer for me about mom, after singing Sunday night for the nursing home which I did a Halloween concert and it was a big hit for the residents so much so till I am now gonna do it again for them on Halloween at their halloween party.

God answered prayer for me and kept my mom safe when I prayed about this and left mom alone for a few days. I didnt see her from Sunday evening till Thursday evening and when I saw her Thursday that sweet spirit that she has was back, God did restoration with her and I am now praying that she begins to accept where she is and to truly become happy there and to let go of the past and live for the now if that is at all possible with her but I know with God nothing and I mean nothing is impossible.

Anyway I took mom to the prayer meeting in the nursing home that a local church has as ministry there for about four years now and she and I know all the leaders of this church in the nursing home who are there for the residents, same as why I sing on Sunday nights every second Sunday each month, for the residents. I surely don't do this for me, it's not about me but them and especially HIM. My ABBA Father.

I rolled mom down and she sat with her friend Lilly, mom has made some good friends there and she sat beside her and me on the other side. Well as it began it was early before time like in about fifteen minutes to begin and Carl the music leader got up to mike and made a joke to another guy there who comes to help out with the residents, his wife so to speak, this is another story, pasted away and he still comes periodically to see the residents. Carl made a joke to Fred and said we are early, Fred would you like to sing since Gary won't sing for us. I said well if you want me to sing I will and the resident of course urged me on in this.

See this church has asked me to sing for em but I wouldn't do it cause I feel this is their moment and if I do what I do it had to be in the right moment as to not take away from what they do and this night was the right moment. I sang there Rock of Ages and I truly got up singing this song to God. I noticed my friends mom with tears in her eyes again as I sang and she looked with an expression as if she was proud and mom had the same look which is answered prayer. She had the peace back on her face and in her eyes

After I sang and sat down in walked her son, the one who hurt me so and attacked me and threatened me with four "hate" mails and said he would have me arrested if I ever talked to him or his mom ever again but I know God orchestrated this for here I was uncomfortable that my enemy so to speak was sitting in front of me and in less than 8 feet from me. I was directly behind him but God said be still and stay for I have a plan and a purpose between me and you for now.

Well later in the service, Carl said as we were singing hymns and he told the residents to turn to Great Is Thy Faithfulness, he asked Gary would you consider singing another one for us and I said well sure and this was the song I wanted to do, and really to tell you the truth I didn't really have one but Great Is Thy Faithfulness is one hymn that I like to sing. There are hymns that we sing that I am not comfortable singing but this one was one that I always liked and so I got up as hard as it was and did what I am called to do for God and sing in HIS presence in front of my enemy which wasn't easy.

As I sang I gave my singing to God and I felt his power upon me so strong as if HE was singing through me. I was told long time ago in message here online, not at this site but on a messenger and I save that Word, I know it was a true word of knowledge and keeping in as I have was meant for God wanted this vision that this person had for me to be revealed and maybe, just maybe, Thursday night at White Oak Manor it came true for I feel it did.

See God has placed a calling on me and an anointing on me and it is scary and I have been so defeated in my walk with HIM that I am afraid of the attacks to stop me that the devil is trying to do cause what I do offers healing in the hearts of his people from my singing, it is anointed and I can't explain it but God knows

Years ago on Paltalk, a messenger where I sang LIVE online I met a lady who called herself somewhat a prophet of God, she is jewish but she speaks from the word and upon learning of her faith and just that feeling of kindred spirits that one has when one knows it's God. God draws his people together through the Spirit and you know when it is the Spirit of God. I never had this feeling with the guy who hurt me at the nursing home. I was defeated in my walk at the time. Satan had done a number on me at that time till now I see that the connection, the joining of my spirit to his wasn't there but with everyone else since this, my new pastor friend and all those I've met in the prayer group, that spirit joining as I am gonna call it is there. We are like minded people if that makes sense.

Years ago she had a vision and a word of encouragement for me and she told me and I have never forgotten it that God was gonna use my voice to sing, that I would be able to walk in a room and folks would be healed by me singing and even by me maybe touching them in some way. I see now how this is possible and it's through the music that I share and yet I am so not worthy of this for I have sin in my life and I pray that I can overcome this sinfulness and serve him as I need to do so strongly. He is working but her sharing this word I remember and I see it now and I've got to let her know how God used her, we are still friends even though we don't keep in close contact. I have lots of friends from all over the world thanks to the internet.

I sang Great Is Thy Faithfulness and I said before I sang that I am so thankful for HIS faithfulness to me during everything that I have ever gone through.

As I sang I truly felt the Spirit upon me, I was almost shaking by it and when that happens I know it's not me working but HE is working. I sang every verse, first verse, not really looking out at the crowd but singing from my heart with sincerity to God and meaning every word, second verse I started shaking a little, at first I thought it was because here I was singing in front of my enemy and someone I felt sorry for cause the devil has a grip on him that he doesn't know he has and I do remember looking at him, the entire time he never looked up at me singing. He had his head down, kind of like he is of a greater authority than anyone else there but I know the truth God has revealed to me about him, there are things I know that God has let me know and it's not for bad but for good, I know that God has used me to reach this guy and this nite me singing in front of him was for healing for him I think cause I saw the fruits the next day somewhat. He was leaving as I was coming in yesterday and on the porch he said Hey, how are you, hope everyone is doing well and he has never spoken to me face to face except one time when I passed him after he hurt me so and I said Hello first, after he threaten me and I took the advice from another friend in the prayer group who didn't know the intimate details but the Holy Spirit revealed to her the details said to dust off my feet and I had with him and I was strong in not speaking to him again that I feel I wasn't suppose to and then he speaks first and during the sermon in the Thurs night prayer meeting, I sat there following the scripture on my new smart phone (mobile internet is great tool, the bible in seconds is awesome) I started praying for him and I spoke in tongues praising God silently as I sat there and in my spirit it was revealed to me what to pray for, a breaking so to speak of his heart. I prayed that God would break him down and that I would be a constant reminder of confusion to him as he was to me in that what I am doing is not of evil but good and that nothing I have done is a bad thing and that I did nothing to hurt and if HE was hurt that it was God bringing to HIM, HIS truth about who God truly is. I just prayed and couldn't stop praying and I prayed that the fruit that I was showing of what God was doing radiated and glowed as he said I did when he first met me and mom, that we glowed and that my fruit would be evident that I have done nothing wrong and that I had not lied at all and if he got hurt it was only in doing what I know was the right thing to do in protecting whom God led me to protect. As I say don't mess with God's kid well, don't mess Gare's mom either.

When I sang the last verse of Great Is Thy Faithfulness, note both songs I sang were about nothing more than my God. songs of praise about HIM and all this isn't about me, nothing I have ever written here isn't about me and if you go back and read what has happened with me, you will see my silent witness and that is all Jesus' work here, not mine but HIS.

Praise you Lord and I am now writing somewhat here in the Spirit but upon singing the last verse I looked out into the crowd. I saw my friend at first with his head down, never once looking up and his eyes closed, then I saw his mom beaming and radiating and I am reminded how God worked when I got there and she asked me what songs I was gonna sing for Thanksgiving there and so when she knew her son didn't want her to talk to me, she did it anyway and she asked if I would sit with her and bring mom over there and I said no, we better not do that and it was best we not cause where I sat was where God wanted me to sit for what I did afterwards in sitting behind him and praying for him as God led me to do. I was engulfed in the Holy Ghost in prayer for my friend whom I have not written out his name here but I was praying for him as I felt led to do.

Back to singing, I looked then to mom and I saw mom radiating from her wheelchair, smiling and listening and maybe my song was healing her and touching her as my friend years ago had said and I could see in my friends mom and several others were feeling it too. When I sing from my heart to Jesus, he moves and touches hearts and you know that is what I have been told from the comments I get on You Tube from those who watch and listen to me sing. That I touch hearts and God is touching hearts through my singing, he has anointed my voice for something rather great in him and it's nothing I do but what HE does through me. It's humbling to me to think that a God so big would do this but I say God I have accepted this, now God keep Satan away from me, show me how I can defeat him with you and give me the armor I need to put on daily and keep me safe for I am afraid if I have a fear of what could happen next in attack me even as I write here of accepting HIS call and realizing that it's always been there.

It is the desires of my heart to do what I do and I enjoy what I do for HIM. I absolutely, whole hearted love what I do in singing and talking about HIM. HE is my friend. savior. father. and my life. I praise you Jesus.

This past week has been full of emotions but I am strong in HIM. When I am weak, HE is strong. I started either on Sunday or Monday, I think it was Monday the Many Called Few Chosen study here but haven't got to day 2 yet cause of what has gone on but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I am called to do what I do and what Satan tried to destroy, God will restore more abundantly. He is good and what I am doing comes natural to me. I have been molded and made by him and I am what HE wants to me with all my shortcomings as they are I am HIS kid.

I am in no way perfect and I won't ever be but God is using me with all my flaws and sins and he loves me and HE keeps me going. If God wants you ain't nothing stopping HIM from getting ya and I feel this strongly in the heartache I have gone through with me friend, if God wants him to serve him, there ain't no stopping HIM in getting him back in the fold. Something is telling me that my friend has never really be in the fold with Jesus as I have experienced Jesus here and although I am confused I can trust God to fix the confused and place order in to for I have seen HIM work in this through this and I close here knowing I have typed out a lot today but I close giving God all the praise and glory for what He had done in my life this past week. Hallelujah praise you JESUS!!!!!!!!

I close here with Scripture that is so encouraging to me and kind of sums up this week for me as hard as it has been these past 7 days. For from Sunday till Saturday I have seen blessings.

Psalm 1:
1 Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,
2 but whose delight is in the law of the LORD, and who meditates on his law day and night.
3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.

[momof3]

God bless you, Gare. May the Lord bring you peace as you seek to do His will. His will be done in all.

In Jesus,
luv momo

[Gare]

I haven't been here in a while but prayers have been answered. The thief is in jail and all my stuff has been returned but Helen's items have not and I hate she didn't get any of her items back for this was a spiritual attack on me and she was an innocent by stander. I didn't want my stuff back but I truly wanted hers.

Seems she always gets hurt by me. She has cancer and all her pets seem to die off one by one, one died this week. I hate to see her hurt. I pray that they find her jewelry, I truly do.

I have completed the many called few chosen study and I know but I know that God has called me and that calling is on Facebook believe it or not with the prayer group. It is the beginning of bringing a group of people together that he has me leading.

This week I kind of left the group, not stepping down but time to catch my breathe and truly step up to what I am called to do. I felt God leading me to do this cause in some regards the way I have been dominating the page I felt that he needs to show the group what it would be like without me but I am seeing it continue on without me but I do miss it and I am still reading post and prayers. This is a learning process for me and for the group.

You know when I first came here I have let something take a back burner and that was the stronghold, the sin in my life but that has appeared once again, I guess in reality it never went away but I have come to know the root of it and why it is there and what it is and it is not an abomination and it is not gonna cause me to go to hell for it is nothing more than an addiction that I have got to overcome.

I have not spoken of what this is outright here and I have searched the pages of this forum and have not seen it listed at all and I wonder why it is not here for I know what the word of God says. It is listed on the Emotions part of the healing series in the list of what the Bible says. I know what the Bible says about it and I have wondered why it has to be so hard to overcome but something came clear to me today about something someone shared with me here

A response to one of my post said that if I continue to praise God and do what HE has called me to do that healing will come and so maybe this is my therapy in this, that he is gonna do a great work, a miracle and give to me truly the desires of my heart here to be healed and to have this addiction behind me.

I do not know but I do know I trust him and him only to heal me.

[Gare]

[momof3]

God bless you, brother in Jesus. I love this song. It really touches my heart. He is so good.

You have been given a gift, my brother.

Thank you for sharing this.

In Jesus,
luv momo

[Gare]

I've stopped posting here like I was cause I guess I've been busy but I still very much using the website as God leads me here.
I've gain so much from the different studies. I am now on the Spirit of Truth study, I completed the Many Called Few Chosen and that was a very beneficial for me for I am very much called to serve him and as I stepped up to the plate and accepted this and claim this I have been nothing but attacked from all corners that arrows could be thrown at me.

But I am remaining true to my God. It is HE whom I serve.