Christianity Oasis Forum

[goldieluvs]

JQuad

Ima lil late on coming into ur journal and apologize for dat. There's a couple things i would like to say.

First and well, maybe this has just been my experience, i have not been able to forget past mistakes. Perhaps i am to remember them in order to help others who have been thru similar situations. Forgiving self,, well that one took time for past stuff. But, i wanna share, that it IS possible. It was a process and was hard at first, but God helped me and i can honestly say that the worst mistakes i have been able to forgive myself for. God forgives em. HE is who helped me see that hanging onto not forgiving myself was hurting me and my relationship with Him.

As for forgiving others, that also took awhile but it was when i actually believed in my heart of just how much God had forgiven me that i was able to forgive... I hear ur fears of finding the right woman only for her to leave cuz of ur past, but bro... if she is indeed the right woman, she will see that we all make mistakes and will love you and God and while no relationship is without its ups and downs, she will recognize that ur past is just that... past.... no longer who u are. And there is nothing wrong with going slow and not jumping into a relationship. I used to think if i just loved someone enuf that they would change and be who I wanted them to be. Didn't work. See, i failed to take into account that only God and that person can change them, not me. Not that we don't make a difference, but ultimately it is between that person and God. Be gentle with yourself, your doing awesome!

It IS good that you are recognizing some patterns so that you can ask God to help ya work thru em so as not to repeat em. Just remember, we are all human and make many mistakes while we try to be who God wants us to be... and God is God and we ain't (borrowed that expression but it is SO true). So, just wanna give ya and will as you continue trucking on (luv da statement btw) God will see ya thru.

[mlg]

Hi JQuad...I know a man who has been married many times...but I would say about 10 years ago...this man married a woman who knew his past...yet was willing to look past this man's past and gave him a chance. If it is God's will that you be married again, He will bring you the right one...but work on your relationship with God first...this is important...as you need a Godly foundation in a marriage in order for it to work...and this is what God wants most from you...to be your rock and your fortress.

Keep working the steps. You are doing great.

luv ya

[JQuad]

Ya, your all right on finding the right woman. I'm going to let God take care of that. I would do exactly that if it was God will and a woman had a bad past I surely would not run and I don't feel anymore that that would be a problem for me. I keep on truckin with the steppin stones. And guess what I have been Selfish. It really is hard to admit that but looking at so many things there was some selfishness in certain situations. You are told from everyone since we were children "don't be selfish" but sometimes I didn't realize that I was being selfish. I guess we have to be on our guard to not be selfish. Going to be also workin on that one. I have been feelin great though these past few days and the light is gettin brighter. Once again thank all of you from the bottom of my heart. Keep on prayin for me, I'll take all I can get and I will continue to pray for all of you. My heart goes out.

Love,
Jay

[mlg]

woohooo JQuad...you continue to grow...I think we all have a touch of selfishness in us...I know I do for sure...I whine and complain about things because I don't like how they are going...but that's selfish...because it must be for God's glory that we are going through these things...and wanting my way might take away glory from Him...how selfish we tend to be.

I see God leading you on a new path...and it's so exciting to watch...thank you for sharing your journal with us.

luv ya

[JQuad]

On the steppin stone path. Lookin at today step made me realize over many years what I neglected to do. I got so caught up into this world, tryin to work, make money, make time for family, friends that I neglected my Lord and Savior. I even remember thinkin I really want to go to this church function but I have so much other work to do that I can't. The truth of the matter is I probably could have made other arrangements and went. I just would have made a little less money. Although fully knowing that money will never save anyone. Kinda strange how we think sometimes. Also giving time to our Lord he would have givin it to me anyhow. It makes my brain feel soooo tiny. Felt good today but a bit physically tired. Don't know exactly why because I haven't done much physical work and in the past I have been used to doing alot of physical work. Keep the prayers ROLLIN. Love to all.

Jay

[mlg]

Wow JQuad...it's really amazing when we start to really look at our relationship with God and see in what order He is on the priority list as compared to other things we feel we need to do. When we choose God...He blesses us. In fact, I actually have a small predicament on time...as we are having a revival at our church next week and on one of the nights I am required to work late...I am going to ask my boss if I can skip working late, so I can attend the revival...as I really want to go. I think my boss will say yes. I hope.

Take care of yourself my friend.

luv ya

[JQuad]

Yesterday I couldn't get onto the site. I saw the SOS message and wept. It is hard these days to get extra money. Just a few years age I could go around to my neighbors and do a litte yard work or house cleaning to make a few extra bucks if I needed to do or get something. Now all those same people will decline to give work because they aren't doing good financially and need the money themselves. I live in a small town and more than half of the buisness have closed in just a four year period. God please help us.

Keepin on with the stepping stone process and it is wonderful. Doin some weedin. Commiting more time to our Lord and feelin better. Still working hard though on some of the past steppin stones, I can see there is a few things that are goin to take a little time. I still have memories that slip into my mind and I try so hard not to be upset, hurt, angry, sad. I am trying to apply TRUTH to these past experiances. It is slowly helping but is going to take some training. Friends, prayers are workin.

Love all ya all
Jay

[mlg]

Hi JQuad, what compassion you have for the Lord's ministry. It's so hard to come up with money during these tough economic times. But, what I can say is that God has provided and the oasis is back up

As far as the steps...sometimes you will need to go back and review some of the steps over and over...until you can get past the thoughts...but what I will say is that you are Forgiven...and those past thoughts...well they are what the enemy will try to take and throw at you to shake you up...don't let him...fight the good fight...keep pushing through.

Welcome home my friend.

luv ya

[JQuad]

Step by step, this is totally awesome. Today I had a huge blanket of peace come over me. This was so wonderful and special because I have not had this peace in about 15 years. Toss and toil for the past 15 years is all I knew. I knew I didn't like it , but figured that is just what most people say, "that's just the way life is". No, I refuse to listen to that saying anymore. Life can be a huge trial and tribulation but you do not have to accept the unhappiness and sadness. I have been heavily into physical fitness most my life, goin to gyms, running, physical jobs, etc. The past year I have been on disability and haven't got much exercise (I actually have a belly now, I know you all don't know that but it supprises me) and today I went on a long walk. I feel so much better. You can exercise the body all you want and be in the best of shape physically but if you don't exercise the mind in God you will not be a very fit person at all. It has taken me 15 years to learn this (I am hard headed). I really see the light at the end of the tunnel for my illness and will work everyday to improve in our Lord and Savior. Thank you all for all the wonderful words and prayers (keep them coming though) Although I have never met any of you face to face I do have a place in my heart for all.

Love,
Jay

[mlg]

Hi Jay,

This is great! I'm so happy to hear the confidence in your shared words...that you and God are now walking together hand in hand. Wonderful!

I think as we begin to age, our physical bodies aren't near what we want them to be. I want to share something...about 6 years ago, I lost over 100 lbs...by diet and exercise..no surgery or nothing....and I would still like to loose more weight...but my doctor says..you would have to starve yourself to do so...and that would be unhealthy...you are fine where you are...so as I think about that...I have learned to be happy with my physical body...yes I still like to exercise and walk etc...but no more weight loss according to the doctor...anyway that all being said...you are aging my friend...and usually that means a bigger belly...so don't worry...it's just part of enjoying life. Enjoy the walks for healthiness...and learn to like yourself belly and all

luv ya

[goldieluvs]

awwwwwwww JQuad.... those blankets are just totally awesome huh?? and i see much insight in the words u shared.... keep on a trucking cuz its awesome seeing God working!!!

[JQuad]

Still on the path. Doin some weedin still, things still try to pop into my head but I do realize now most of these things are not attached to pain anymore. Doing this program with an honest open heart is so very helpful. I have read the bible and gone to church services many times over the years and listened about taking care of yourself but I don't think I had the understanding about taking care of my own mind (not just the physical stuff). I am the type of person who was always more concerned with everyone elses well being but you have to take care of yourself too. You can't take care of others if your a mess. This program has brought this to light inside me. I keep workin to create a better path inside me so the Lord can walk hand in hand with me through that beautiful garden. Thank you all for the prayers, they are definitely workin. Love ya all

Jay