Christianity Oasis Forum

[Christdaughter]

well, as you all can see I am still at it, I must do this until I am to date, I will try not to take up much time or space.
I left out a big part of my life, one I hate to speak of, but I will before I get back to my marriage.
When I was about 5 yrs. old ( yes little children remember ugly stuff forever) my grandpa (my mom's father, want to make that clear) I'll call him grandpa B, well , grandpa b, work for a man on a milk farm, plus he took care of a doctors summer house in the hills away from everyone.
One day grandpa came to our house and told Mama he was going to the doctors house to do some work before the doctor went there for vacation, then he ask mama if I could go, mom told him yes, cause heck, it was her dad and she trusted him with her child, WRONG!
grandpa brought sandwichs and sodas for lunch, he gave me a little shovel to dig wild flowers for Mama, well he stop for lunch. we ate and he said let rest a minute sissy, being 5 yrs. old, I was full of entergy, but grandpa said no, I couldn't play to come sit on his lap, ( he was my grandpa, I trusted him.) well he proceeded to kiss me where grandpa's should not, and touch where he should not. I was so scared, he took me home, but not before he told me, " Do not tell anyone, this is between us, because your grandpa's special girl and I love you in a special way. " this went on for about a month and I knew my Daddy love me a lot and he didn't love me like my grandpa did, Daddy didn't hurt me when he loved me. One day grandpa came and ask if i could go with him again, I hid behind the chair and told Mama I didn't want to go, so she told grandpa I didn't want to go, he told her I needed to get out in the fresh air, by this time Mama knew something was bad wrong, so she told him no. When he left, Mama ask why I didn't want to go, she reach to me to pull me on her lap, but I pulled back, she said, Baby girl, Mama would never ever hurt you, I went and crawled on her lap, told her grandpa touched me and I didn't like it, she kept asking how and I was to scared to tell her because of what my grandpa told me. I heard her crying in the kitchen alter that day, but I never had to go with grandpa again. Mama didn't tell Daddy until I was grown with children of my own and the reason for that is simple, back then people would have blamed my parents and Mama knew my Daddy would go to prison for killing her father, because no one hurt Daddy's children and most of all no one molested his little girl and lived. Mama tried in the only way she knew how to keep her husband with his family and keep her little girl safe, I am grateful to her for that because I still have my Daddy, Mama is with Jesus and grandpa died and I did not grieve for him, I was just angry that he never once apologized or felt remorse for what he did to me, but I have learned to forgive him for he was a twisted sick man and I found out after he died, I was not his only victim. I'll stop now, please don't be to disgusted, God took care of him .