Christianity Oasis Forum

[seanmac1978]

So I have recently seperated from a woman that i love very much. I met her at a friends wedding and shortly after that moved from Missouri to Colorado to be with her. We talked extensively prior to me moving about all of the things that we wanted out of life like a solid family environment, to pass on our religious values to her daughters, and to reaffirm our faith. We have both been unhappily married and now divorced, we both have strayed so far away from how we were raised and what we know we truly believe in, that it got in the way of anything positive and productive that we should and could have done together. Two months after our relationship started both of her parents were killed in a car accident which seems now like the final downfall of our relationship which totaled seven months. We have both led our lives very immaturely up to this point and have allot of personal repairs to make for ourselves but at the same time can not let go of the deep, intense feelings that still remain for each other. so I guess my first question is how do I stop the pain that I feel about not being with this woman. In the past I could have dismissed any feelings of love (or what I thought was love at the time) for the person that I was no longer with but i have never felt this type of pain due to not being with someone. Should I be led to believe that "it was just not the right time for us to be together?" or that I have screwed up so bad in life in the past that I do not get to have this amazing woman in my life? I am soooooooooo lost and do not know what to do with all of the feelings that I have right now. I am 35 and have never felt such deep pain in my entire life!!! I pray everyday that God did not bring this woman into my life just for me to realize that I have things that I need to fix about myself and that he will let me feel the joy and love that I get from her instead of calling it a wash and trying to move on. I can not even fathom being with any woman but her which I know is pathetic and strange for me but I feel like there is a further purpose for our meeting than me just being there for her when her parents passed away and to let myself finally realize that I can actually TRULY love someone again after the divorce I went through. Can someone PLEASE shed some light on this subject for me and please keep me in your prayers. I need all I can get right now. More to come soon.

Sean

[Parcy]

Hello Sean,..

I'm just gonna go straight to the point...
The loss of this women's parents must have overshadowed your relationship for quiet some while.
This might be why ur struggling for the most part,..
You will have to mature as she will have to go on, from this tragic event...
She will need help and strength in the future of someone to make her feel safe again as parents do... but in a different way of it... The pain that you feel is your growth... what you do with it altho,.. depends what will happen with this women and yours..; whether u grow in the good run for her or forget the duties of a general men, mainly husband....

It's hard to tell what she might think of at this moment but all you can do is rejoice in this pain, over been saddned by it, but at the same time not forget that sorrow is a closer step to repentance of any kind of sort. In general.. you can grow strongly in the Lord if you perceive it in the right way... ur pain ceases you from sin, which is the main focus for you.. to cease from sin in the pain driven status your in. which means u can help her by giving her space (i assume) but at the same time, let her know (more in action then verbally;) that you there for her...

I don't know much about this myself, so i hope this helps or helps in someway..

Martin