Christianity Oasis Forum

[mlg]

The beauty of grace...such a wonderful gift God gave to all His children...

luv all of ya

[mlg]

And one more thought...I must share....my husband and I were married for 10 years...maybe not on a piece of paper...but through love and joy...and we have a beautiful daughter together....no my marriage didn't work out...because he did cheat on me...but whether or not I had the paper...doesn't mean it would have stopped him from cheating....because what was missing in our life together was God...so call me an adulturer if you feel since I didn't have a piece of paper...but what I know is this...God has redeemed me through the blood of Christ...and I know am seen as His beautiful child...one who looks to serve Him daily...

I will close my thoughts here now...as I know that by grace we are all saved...and that we all fall short of the glory of God.

God Bless you all

[lizzie]

I get that a piece of paper does not make a marriage... the commitment and love between two people does.

Not having that piece of paper makes it all the more easy to run when the going gets tough or when one party decides they are bored or something....

I personally dont know why someone who loved me and claims to want to spend their life with me wouldnt want to make it legally binding, just as much as they would want it spiritually binding. Not judging those who dont wanna get legally married, to each his own as God leads, but for me I would hope my future husband would be excited and proud to sign that piece of paper should I desire it, even if he doesnt care either way.

Please note the many references to what i shared being MY personal preferences and thoughts... and as i clearly stated not an indication of what i feel other people should adhere to. And my thoughts are that not being legally married makes it EASIER for people to abandon their responsibility and not be held accountable... nowhere did i state that being legally married means people wont cheat

We are ALL entitled to our own beliefs and thoughts and are all given the opportunity to share here.

After all these forums are for discussion on important topics that Christians deal with. If im mistaken on THAT... then my apologies.

Blessings

[Dora]

I don't think anyone was name calling.
Was begun as a beautiful thread and has some wonderful points with in every ones words shared.

Love you all! May peace, patience, forgiveness and Godly love flow between all believers.

[VERT]

Aw ladies good points and good discussion !! I agree with Pine there was no name calling.
Blessings on what seems a touchy issue here for you Ms mlg. I did not see where anyone called or inferred anything about you personally. It is a shame you took such issue with the intent of this thread.
I for one have no knowledge of who you are or what your life was before knowing Christ or hence afterwards. And whatever your circumstances were then or now does not lessen the blessing of God giving your beautiful daughter.
Mlg, you are truly blessed to have come to know the Lord Jesus and should rejoice in that now as you seem to do. Maybe try not to take a simple discussion of what people's personal opinions are or what God's standards are on your former life before Him, to heart.

And as Pine said this thread has carried some wonderful points with in every ones words shared

[VERT]

Lizzie, I see you have given much thought and I will venture to say much prayer to what you believe. I appreciate your opinions and agree with what you are saying. Nothing on a piece of paper changes the fact if one cheats, the paper will not prevent that action. I for one have experienced that within this long marriage of mine, an am glad that my husband and I were able to work through the grief of adultery. However, I also know in some instances married or not it is a very tough issue to deal with, such a blow to the trust that comes with loving someone.

And am sure mlg you gave it everything you could to have your life work out. You seem like a strong minded, heart- felt individual and would guess your relationship did not die easily or without much pain. Bet it took a long time of sorrow to work through.

Marriage is one of the most demanding of relationships and one of the most rewarding. Raising children is tasking to say the least, but at some point and time your children leave home, leaving you with what you began with, your spouse. So I know this is not a subject taken lightly ladies.

Pine are you married? Something within my Spirit tells me you are.

My best to you all and hope this discussion continues into many other areas of the marriage platform between us. I find it most interesting to hear the values and concerns of the younger Christian ladies and the ways in which others deal with the situations of their lives.

It is really cool to have found within the 4 of us here discussingthe marriage issues, one divorced, which is how I am sure you feel mlg, one unmarried, Lizzie, and one I will assume may be married, Pine, then myself who has been married a very long time. It offers a wide range of thoughts and diverse life lessons to be shared.

Take care wonderful God fearing women.

[lizzie]

It is really cool to have found within the 4 of us here discussingthe marriage issues, one divorced, which is how I am sure you feel mlg, one unmarried, Lizzie, and one I will assume may be married, Pine, then myself who has been married a very long time. It offers a wide range of thoughts and diverse life lessons to be shared.

very cool view of this thread sister vert you are right.

And each of us, being individuals, will of course have our own opinions, which may very well differ, but the Word of God is the final authority on all things and as such it is in Him that final confirmation must be sought.

I do hope others will share their thoughts also.

God bless u all

[mlg]

Awww....thank you ladies for your shared thoughts...what I was saying when I said call me an adulturer if you must....wasn't saying any of you here were...but saying that those who live under law only and not grace can call me one....but...if we live under grace...God knows the hearts and intents of those who are married...with paper or without...

Vert...I wanna share a bit more about me and my ex...cuz I feel the need....in hopes that it may help another...I loved my ex dearly...more than anything...and that was the problem...God had no place in my life...when I was with my ex....cuz the life I lived was anything but Godly...I did things that noone would be proud of....and it was from the influence my ex had over me...I followed what he taught me....and it's been almost 7 years now that I left my ex...and I know that it was God's plan because I found God 3 years later...and love Him more than life itself....now I will say there's more to my marriage...first my ex was of a different race than I am...and this caused major problems with my parents...to the point they wouldn't speak to me for almost 2 year...it was only after my daughter was born...that my parents found that love is more than race etc....my parents had their eyes opened...but my ex...always felt unwelcomed in my family...and so that may have lead him to cheat...who knows...he and I were together for 10 years...and in Texas that is recognized as common law marriage...so hence...I still am paying on bills we had together and such...as the law binds me to them...oh and there are times when I am paying them...I really get angry....cuz he doesn't help me pay them...and I grumble under my breath...but then I have to forgive him again...and lay it back down...cuz that's not what God would have me do....but I think reality is...God needed me to find Him..and He knew that as long as I was with my ex...I wouldn't seek Him...so yes I have regrets about loosing my ex...but I gained so much more and what I gained my friendship with Jesus and my Salvation far outweighs the regrets.

luv ya all

[VERT]

Lizzie said

but the Word of God is the final authority on all things and as such it is in Him that final confirmation must be sought

That my dear girl is the ABSOLUTE TRUTH!!

No matter what our thoughts and opinions may be the Word of GOD is where we should ALWAYS check our actions and thoughts against. It is ALWAYS the place for the final say-so.
In His Word we find His standards and His boundaries no matter what. We can not add or take away, or adjust as some do to make His Word fit "man's" thoughts and opinions.

When we stay true to Him, to what His Word states and even though we desire to make it "fit", we MUST adhere to the Word without fail as much as possible, (since we are human we can not always succeed, for we are not " Perfection"), when we do then our lives will reflect His and ONLY HIS GLORY!!
AMEN.

I look forward to continued discussions

[VERT]

Well mlg, everyone has a story, and details are not the issue.
Your life is/has been filled with hurt, anger and pain, that is to be expected. But thankfully you have found the peace, grace and love of the LORD, and the continued reassurance of His forgiveness as I know you continue to forgive the ex for his deeds, others involved and yourself for your own misdeeds, it is all about going forward on God's path.

PRAISE the LORD for your redemption and the Saving Grace of Jesus Christ. May you continue to move within His loving grace and your life be blessed beyond measure with what God has in store for you.

I look forward to may more discussions in this forum, what a lively bunch there is here

[Dora]

mlg Nearly cried when reading that. Thank you! Thank you for sharing a bit about yourself. I am certain what you have shared will help others. Not only that but you know the pain and the darkness these others feel and can relate to there inner turmoil. Giving you an edge on how to reach the ones who are going through what you went through.

But you know that don't ya!


love yas!

VERT! 40 years? Wooooo Weeeee! Coming up on my 20th shortly. I'm thinking it just gets better hu? Looking forward to my 40th. Looking forward to the wisdom you can share with us as well.

[Guest]

every good i like it a lot. helps me on my problem. thank u