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journal day 1

Postby futurediary » Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:32 pm

i have given up on life for some reason. I have become the person i hated the most and worse i cheated on my wife of four and a half years and lied about it. i read that if you want something to chane in your life it will so im ready even though i may be too late. I want to change i want to still be married to the most beautifull woman in my life, all i can do now is change my ways to make me a better person.

life goals:
-i need to cut out the people on the outside of my life for awhile to really think about my life and my relationship with my wife.
-I need to win back my wife if its not too late
-i need to think about the future more instead of reminding myself of all the terrible people in the world, and thing that happened in the past
-i need to work on cleaning the house more and stop giving into my addictions.
-i need to help prevent my wife from going out and doing what i have done. I don't want us to feel sick about ourselves
-i want to be the person that loves only my wife and not be so reclusive all the time, i want to spend the rest of my life with her just being happy and both caring for each other like we are supposed to and not give in to the sexual desires of other people
-I need to be there for my wife we have our names tattoed on our fingers, those will never come off ever.

please help give me the strength to keep going and not sink back into being that person who i have become recently. I can never forgive myself for what i have done until my wife forgives me. i am ready to make this choice and i hope i am not too late.
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Re: journal day 1

Postby Christianity Oasis » Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:31 pm

Your words remind me of another soul who shared TRUTH of what they experienced within ...

Romans 7:7-25 ... What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet. But sin, taking occasion by the commandment, wrought in me all manner of concupiscence. For without the law sin was dead. For I was alive without the law once: but when the commandment came, sin revived, and I died. And the commandment, which was ordained to life, I found to be unto death. For sin, taking occasion by the commandment, deceived me, and by it slew me. Wherefore the law is holy, and the commandment holy, and just, and good. Was then that which is good made death unto me? God forbid. But sin, that it might appear sin, working death in me by that which is good; that sin by the commandment might become exceeding sinful. For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. For that which I do I allow not: for what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I. If then I do that which I would not, I consent unto the law that it is good. Now then it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. For I delight in the law of God after the inward man: But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.

We have no clue what the future holds for us, but we KNOW who holds the future.


GRACE is within us and what is to be is before us.

Keep on keeping on ...

GOD has our best interests at heart.
Jesus is coming ... Get your soul prepared.
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Re: journal day 1

Postby futurediary » Tue Dec 06, 2011 12:41 am

thanks for the insight it means alot.
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Re: journal day 1

Postby Christnundrconstruxn » Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:04 am

Brother first I want to welcome you home to Oasis
next and MOST importantly...pray and when you are done pray some more and continue to pray without ceasing
You see I have been where you are and unfortunately my prayers where not answered in the way I wanted but it did not stop me from continuing to pray for the forgiveness and hope to save my marriage, now I know without a doubt even though I caused the pain and suffering I did all God would have asked of me to do in hopes of repairing my marriage
and PLEASE know your marriage is different from mine, my wife had given up years before, she did not want marriage like she thought but once in it she couldn't bring herself to end it due to her becoming a Christian and the beliefs of the church
but I gave her the way out and instead of fighting for the 14 years we shared it was given up on.
My biggest point to you is I had gotten SO MUCH strength from God to continue to ask for her forgiveness and the patience to try to work through things with her that with out a doubt had I tried to do that on my own I would have messed that up just like I did the marriage.
Ask God to show you the ways to open her heart again, and for Him to soften her heart so you BOTH can heal
Brother it is SO IMPORTANT that you remember to put God BEFORE yourself OR your wife and then your wife should be your focus of prayers as well as your healing, start your day every morning in prayer to God asking for the healing of you and your wife and ask if it is His will to show you and her the ways of repairing this marriage and make it strong in His name.
May God bless you and answer your prayers as you want but please remember it is HIS will you seek.
Cuc
LET GO AND LET GOD!!
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