where ive come from... to where He's taking me-part one
Posted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 2:16 pmOK it's been a long bumpy road. And yes i've taken the wrong path. But now it's time for a u-turn. This is my testimony may u experience His strength through it as I have.
I was a promiscuous teen, to put it nicely. I was pregnant at age 16. My parents made me get an abortion. For years I blamed them for the hurt i felt afterwards, I forgave them, they were only doing what they thought wass best for me at that time. Their life had drifted from God also during that time. I was angry with them and was determined to bring my baby back, I got pregnant again when i was 17 and gave birth to my first son William when I was 18. Not only were my parents hurt by this, me being so young, but also because my sons father was black and a drug dealer. Nevertheless they were there for me when I eventually told them when i was 6 months pregnant. They helped me financially brought me in, cared for me, they were there to take me to the hospital and support me (his father was in jail at the time) and my son brought them joy. The ethnicity barrier was broken, and as they helped raise him they learned that its not yr color of skin that defines who u are.
22 months later i had my daughter from the same father as my son. her name is Mariah. I was going through a lot with their father, he had many girlfriends, many children, was a drug dealer, and abusive to name a few.
When my daughter was born my son was with my parents out of the country because my grandfather had passed and i was too close to labor to go or have responsibility of my son in case I went into labor.
I was alone, scared, and ready to "pop".
I went into labor called a friend to take me to the hospital. While i was there i called their father to let him know. He didn't want to come because he was just there at the same hospital with another gf who gave birth and was all babied out. My friend stayed with me, and eventually her father showed up and witnessed the birth. He wouldn't even hold her because she was a girl. At that point I washed my hands of him. And tried to move on. 3 days later their father called me, my parents were still out of the country, i was still by myself, responsible for this little life all by myself. I was overwhelmed, her father wanted me to take him somewhere. So i bundled her up, left the house and went to take him where he needed to go. He had me stop off so he could smoke some weed at a park nearby. On the way home i felt the pressure of the world on my shoulders. I knew that this was not the kind of life i wanted my children to be around. On the way home i suffered from horrible anxiety attacks. I finally made it home with my daughter I went in the house with my daughter, and i was horribly sick. I stayed in the bathroom for 3 days. I don't remember much. I remember praying to God and telling Him if he made me better i would do anything for Him. I remember talking to my mother and telling her i was sick and couldn't care for my daughter. I thank God he was watching over her. After 3 days i cared for my daughter. My parents came home. Took over care of my daughter. i had a nervous breakdown, post partum depression set in. Anxiety attacks got worse to the point I couldn't even drive my car, couldn't even go to a store, and eventually couldn't leave the house. One day i was sitting there in the living room and my parents had a bible in the side of the lamp stand. I was distraught and tired and weary and i grabbed it and started reading Genesis. I was broken, i couldn't put myself back together, and nobody else could despite their attempts. But as days went on i wanted to learn more and more. I started depending on Him, He encouraged me, He gave me the strength to get through. I accepted Jesus as my savior and i grew spiritually. Started to go to church started to heal. Eventually he took my fears away little by little to let me know that He was in control. He healed me to the point i could drive again, he showed me verses of scripture to help me get through the day, the weeks, the months. I was baptized Christmas eve in 1995. It was awesome. He surrounded me with people who loved me, accepted me, as He does. He brought my family back to church, the pastor said one time it was like a family awakening, a revival. i eventually got my own apartment (section 8) And started to live a grown up life. Every day the church was open I was there, my children were there. Life was starting to look good. This is how God saved me the first time around. I will write about the second time around in a future post. Love yr sister in Christ- JIll
I was a promiscuous teen, to put it nicely. I was pregnant at age 16. My parents made me get an abortion. For years I blamed them for the hurt i felt afterwards, I forgave them, they were only doing what they thought wass best for me at that time. Their life had drifted from God also during that time. I was angry with them and was determined to bring my baby back, I got pregnant again when i was 17 and gave birth to my first son William when I was 18. Not only were my parents hurt by this, me being so young, but also because my sons father was black and a drug dealer. Nevertheless they were there for me when I eventually told them when i was 6 months pregnant. They helped me financially brought me in, cared for me, they were there to take me to the hospital and support me (his father was in jail at the time) and my son brought them joy. The ethnicity barrier was broken, and as they helped raise him they learned that its not yr color of skin that defines who u are.
22 months later i had my daughter from the same father as my son. her name is Mariah. I was going through a lot with their father, he had many girlfriends, many children, was a drug dealer, and abusive to name a few.
When my daughter was born my son was with my parents out of the country because my grandfather had passed and i was too close to labor to go or have responsibility of my son in case I went into labor.
I was alone, scared, and ready to "pop".
I went into labor called a friend to take me to the hospital. While i was there i called their father to let him know. He didn't want to come because he was just there at the same hospital with another gf who gave birth and was all babied out. My friend stayed with me, and eventually her father showed up and witnessed the birth. He wouldn't even hold her because she was a girl. At that point I washed my hands of him. And tried to move on. 3 days later their father called me, my parents were still out of the country, i was still by myself, responsible for this little life all by myself. I was overwhelmed, her father wanted me to take him somewhere. So i bundled her up, left the house and went to take him where he needed to go. He had me stop off so he could smoke some weed at a park nearby. On the way home i felt the pressure of the world on my shoulders. I knew that this was not the kind of life i wanted my children to be around. On the way home i suffered from horrible anxiety attacks. I finally made it home with my daughter I went in the house with my daughter, and i was horribly sick. I stayed in the bathroom for 3 days. I don't remember much. I remember praying to God and telling Him if he made me better i would do anything for Him. I remember talking to my mother and telling her i was sick and couldn't care for my daughter. I thank God he was watching over her. After 3 days i cared for my daughter. My parents came home. Took over care of my daughter. i had a nervous breakdown, post partum depression set in. Anxiety attacks got worse to the point I couldn't even drive my car, couldn't even go to a store, and eventually couldn't leave the house. One day i was sitting there in the living room and my parents had a bible in the side of the lamp stand. I was distraught and tired and weary and i grabbed it and started reading Genesis. I was broken, i couldn't put myself back together, and nobody else could despite their attempts. But as days went on i wanted to learn more and more. I started depending on Him, He encouraged me, He gave me the strength to get through. I accepted Jesus as my savior and i grew spiritually. Started to go to church started to heal. Eventually he took my fears away little by little to let me know that He was in control. He healed me to the point i could drive again, he showed me verses of scripture to help me get through the day, the weeks, the months. I was baptized Christmas eve in 1995. It was awesome. He surrounded me with people who loved me, accepted me, as He does. He brought my family back to church, the pastor said one time it was like a family awakening, a revival. i eventually got my own apartment (section 8) And started to live a grown up life. Every day the church was open I was there, my children were there. Life was starting to look good. This is how God saved me the first time around. I will write about the second time around in a future post. Love yr sister in Christ- JIll
You have an awesome testimony to share with others. Keep sharing.
<---I'm all ears. 
Thank u all who have taken the time to read my first testimony. I apprecaite all the prayers and kind words and encouragemnet from all of u. God is wonderful and working in my life, im waiting on himto tell me wjhen to write my secondd testimony because i think i am in the midst of the storm and waiting for Him to calm the seas so my testimony will be that much more GLORIFYING TO GOD!! Through this strom though i am learning alot and cant wait to share what He is doing for me. So hang tight.
hiya jiwal ...