Need prayer
Posted: Sat Jul 18, 2015 2:50 pmHello everyone,
It's been a while since I've even been here. My life has taken on a whole new journey these last 8 months. Just in the last month my life has drastically changed. I found out on June 29th I am pregnant, wow! Surely was not planned at this time in my life but I know that God has other plans in the works. The father of this baby, my fiance, Stephen, was totally shocked as I was. He told me that he was not ready to be a father and was very adamant about it. My heart sank so low. Then he asked me a few hours later if I would abort. My heart sank even deeper. I cried for the rest of the week wondering and asking God what I should do.
Stephen didn't want me telling anyone at the time so I kept this between the two of us but my heart was so heavy and I just wanted so bad to tell my mom who is my closest friend apart from God. My heart hurt so much through this as I carried this burden within me. I was so angry at Stephen for asking me to do such. I knew in my heart what is right. The timing as we think was not right, rather Stephen thought was not right.
On July 8th I drove to my doctor appointment the whole way there I kept asking God to open a door for me to tell my mom. I needed to tell her what is going on. I HAVE to tell someone. I saw my family doctor and had bloodwork drawn and confirmed I am indeed having a baby. I went to my parents afterwards to have a visit. My mom took one look at me and asked me in her mom soft spoken way, just out of the blue, if I was pregnant. I burst into tears and she just grabbed me and held me and told me everything was going to be ok and everything will work out. I needed to hear that so badly and for her to comfort me. I was feeling so lost and alone. I felt so relieved once she knew.
She had told me she had suspected for a week prior to her asking me that question. It's her mom intuition she knows her children very well. I'm so grateful that she is so loving and wonderful. God opened that door because He knew I couldn't carry that anymore. I told my mom how Stephen felt and she shook her head no and said to me this baby is for a reason we just don't understand or know what that reason is right now. God's timing is made perfect for those who love Him.
Stephen and I disagreed so much over the course of the last week, I didn't know what was going to happen between us, and I still don't really know. I told him that I will not go through with the abortion and I am going to raise this child even if I have to do it alone. He was angry, not with me but with himself for making a bad choice. It was both our choice not just his. He tried making me feel guilty but I just have to step up to the responsibility of my actions. A few days ago Stephen began asking me about this pregnancy and how I am feeling. I have been praying that he will find peace and begin accepting that he is going to be a father. Just him asking me that gives me hope that one day, hopefully soon, he will be happy that this happened in his life.
I am feeling really well just tired, weepy, a little sore, no nausea though. I am only 6 weeks 3 days along so it may creep up still. I am at peace with this decision and I have the support of my family which is a huge blessing.
I just ask that you could pray for Stephen and I. That God's will be done, whatever that may be and that this baby will be healthy and be a blessing.
God bless you all!
PLAF
It's been a while since I've even been here. My life has taken on a whole new journey these last 8 months. Just in the last month my life has drastically changed. I found out on June 29th I am pregnant, wow! Surely was not planned at this time in my life but I know that God has other plans in the works. The father of this baby, my fiance, Stephen, was totally shocked as I was. He told me that he was not ready to be a father and was very adamant about it. My heart sank so low. Then he asked me a few hours later if I would abort. My heart sank even deeper. I cried for the rest of the week wondering and asking God what I should do.
Stephen didn't want me telling anyone at the time so I kept this between the two of us but my heart was so heavy and I just wanted so bad to tell my mom who is my closest friend apart from God. My heart hurt so much through this as I carried this burden within me. I was so angry at Stephen for asking me to do such. I knew in my heart what is right. The timing as we think was not right, rather Stephen thought was not right.
On July 8th I drove to my doctor appointment the whole way there I kept asking God to open a door for me to tell my mom. I needed to tell her what is going on. I HAVE to tell someone. I saw my family doctor and had bloodwork drawn and confirmed I am indeed having a baby. I went to my parents afterwards to have a visit. My mom took one look at me and asked me in her mom soft spoken way, just out of the blue, if I was pregnant. I burst into tears and she just grabbed me and held me and told me everything was going to be ok and everything will work out. I needed to hear that so badly and for her to comfort me. I was feeling so lost and alone. I felt so relieved once she knew.
She had told me she had suspected for a week prior to her asking me that question. It's her mom intuition she knows her children very well. I'm so grateful that she is so loving and wonderful. God opened that door because He knew I couldn't carry that anymore. I told my mom how Stephen felt and she shook her head no and said to me this baby is for a reason we just don't understand or know what that reason is right now. God's timing is made perfect for those who love Him.
Stephen and I disagreed so much over the course of the last week, I didn't know what was going to happen between us, and I still don't really know. I told him that I will not go through with the abortion and I am going to raise this child even if I have to do it alone. He was angry, not with me but with himself for making a bad choice. It was both our choice not just his. He tried making me feel guilty but I just have to step up to the responsibility of my actions. A few days ago Stephen began asking me about this pregnancy and how I am feeling. I have been praying that he will find peace and begin accepting that he is going to be a father. Just him asking me that gives me hope that one day, hopefully soon, he will be happy that this happened in his life.
I am feeling really well just tired, weepy, a little sore, no nausea though. I am only 6 weeks 3 days along so it may creep up still. I am at peace with this decision and I have the support of my family which is a huge blessing.
I just ask that you could pray for Stephen and I. That God's will be done, whatever that may be and that this baby will be healthy and be a blessing.
God bless you all!
PLAF
