Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

I'm trying so hard to handle all this on my own.

My life today keeps reflecting the abuse I survived as a child and it's very triggering and upsetting. I'm tired. I'm having panic attacks, I'm seeing things that aren't there because the fear is so huge.

The two things I need sorted quickly is a man has been harassing me. He seems to enjoy scaring me. We're one step away from a P.P.O. But the police said if I get P.P.O. it could make him want to harass me more. He attends my church. At this point just thinking of going to church causes my heart to race. And Sunday is two days away.

The second huge issue is a child in my daycare has made allegations that another child sexually assaulted him while under my care. As you can imagine this has effected 4 homes, greatly! We all just want the truth. Both sets of parents believe their child. One says he didn't do anything and the other says he did. I'm heart broken. It triggers the "I didn't protect the baby" a memory of when I was put in a position to protect the baby from my uncle who molested her in front of me and I froze. I didn't protect her. This memory God has been working on this past few weeks so I don't think this situation is happening out of Gods hands. But I need the truth revealed. How did this child learn this, the one that either did this to the other or the one who's making up a horrid story. It appears one family has a child who is being taught inappropriate things and this is my greatest fear. That a child gets hurt. It's taken me 2 years to be able to talk about the last child who I cared for with out crying. I'm finally healing from that event and now this.

I've been taking anxiety medication prescribed by the doctor to help me through counseling over my childhood. She just upped the dose and when this man sexually harassed me again this past Sunday she gave me zanax. After yesterdays issue with the children in my care the zanax isn't even settling me down. My heart is racing, I'm so over whelmed I can't work. I can't hardly get out of bed.

I just need to know Gods got all this.

Wednesday I was praying for the boy who said the other boy touched him sexually. I was praying if someone was hurting him it would be revealed. I have been feeling perhaps a parents, or friend of the family was mistreating him and his sister. Then the next day he says this little boy touched him. I just don't think it's this little boy. This little boy is still so innocent and has never acted inappropriately. Yet the one who told his parents this boy touched him is often saying and doing inappropriate things which is why I've wondered if someone was hurting him. (acting out perhaps)

I wish I could protect you. I really do. Prayers.

I am sending up prayers to our Lord in the name of Jesus, on your behalf, Piney, and for all those concerned. May the truth be revealed, and may God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you, Pine.
Love,
Mack

In agreement with both ladies here
We love you Pine
I pray your stress is eased and the truth is shown
(anytime you need me sis)
Cuc

My Prayers go out to you Piney. and to the families of all involved.

as for the P.P.O. A very smart woman encouraged me and told me what I needed to hear last year when I needed to get my P.P.O. That woman was you. Look at your situation and imagine if it were someone else what advice would you give them?

This is what you told me last July...
Also the police here just told me that I don't have to be hurt for it to be assault or battery. That as soon as he even brushes against me it is battery. Like if he were to pull back his fist right before hitting me but it brushes against me or he comes at me and his body brushes against me I can call and they will help. It might be different where you live. I don't know. It's worth checking into and finding out exactly what your rights are and exactly how the police can help. It might make him angry, but you'll have the police there to help and you can't go on living like this.

This was what gave me the courage to get a P.P.O. and I thank you for it. Your words gave me the strength to consider what I wouldnt consider before. A few days later I got that P.P.O. and it was because of you and because you were right I couldnt go on living like that and you shouldnt have to go on living like this.

My prayers are with you Piney always.

loves
danty

Pine one thing Im learning right now is how satan will come to rob and steal from us, In the Name of JESUS I ask your blessing be poured over Pine, Lord you are bigger than us, Lord give comfort to Pine as she makes decissions as she attends church and as she faces these alligations Lord cover each step she takes, let her not only know you are walking with her let her feel it in every inch of her body a peace that she has never felt before Lord we know you are greater than anything let your will be done in Jesus name. AMEN

Thank you all. I attended church today with little anxiety over this issue. Which was an answer to prayer.

The man didn't attend today. So he's not been spoken to as of yet which leaves me a little leary because he still can approach me. The church decided they will talk to him and tell him to stay away from me and have him sign a paper stating he understands he needs to stay away from me. But it's yet to be done. I like that they are helping me but I don't like that they are taking all my power away from me.

Working on the issue of the potential child being hurt. The parents are just letting it go but it still bothers all of us.

My mother is not doing well at all and I can't return home to be with her.