Emotion Management....the grief of others
Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2007 8:58 pmHeavenly Father, teach me your ways. May I seek Godly wisdom and knowledge, and in all my getting, get understanding, that I may serve others. In Jesus name, I welcome You here.
It must seem that I talk about me a lot in these sessions. But I know how God deals with me, I don't know how he deals with anyone else. I can't say, "you have to", or you oughtta", cause I don't know that.
So, friends, bear with me while I share yet another of my faux pas with you. (That's a fancy name for- 'oops, I goofed'.)
I was talking with someone the other day, we'll call this person "Sam". Sam has been going through some serious grief, and I can relate- I'm sure all of you can too. Loss from this life of someone you love is painful to say the least. Sam is grieving that kind of loss.
My immediate reaction was, "how can I help? What can I say?" I did the wrong thing to begin with and offered up platitudes like, "It will get better", and, "they're with God now". All very true, but not what Sam needed to hear.
At this moment, Sam hurt too much to hear those things. I was thinking in my perspective, not Sam's. I wanted to 'make things better', when that was not a possibility. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit intervened, (I heard Him shouting in my ear more like), and I was able to really listen to Sam.
After I shut up, and listened, I was able to feel that pain and grief. I could relate, having had it happen to me. But it was not a time for me to say something Sam could not receive. It wasn't a time for, "Yes, but-"
All I could do was listen and pray. Sam's hurt was still such a fresh wound, I KNEW how that felt. How, it hurts so bad, it'a all you can do to just breathe, let alone listen to others tell you it will be ok. A chunk of your life is gone, and some will tell you- "it's time to get over it and on with your life."
The rest of the time, I didn't offer any advice, except- take your time to greive. Mourn for your loss. Don't let anyone treat it as it's nothing, as if the person you miss was nothing.
There will come a time to compassionately lead Sam towards the Father. This day was not it. It took me realizing, it's not me who decides how long a person should mourn. How they shourld mourn. None of it is up to me.
Later, while praying again for Sam, God mentioned this scripture: That you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God's devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it]; {Ephesians 3:18}
I thought, "great, Lord, thank You- I'll pray that for Sam." Immediately the Father said, "Not Sam, YOU." What? Me?
This was going to take a little thinking. Obviously, I had missed something here. What was it? Then God asked me,
"What would my children be like, if they came to know the breadth, length, height and depth of My Love?"
I spent 2 days with that scripture never far from me. I finally had Him talk to me about it. The Holy Spirit loves to reveal the Word. Here is what I understood Him to say:
What kind of people would we be, if we understood the Love of God, and all it entails? If we apprehended, or "got" it, and used it towards others? If we really came to know all that the Love held inside it, and the breadth, length, height and depth of those things?
What kind of prayers would we pray, if we realized the breadth, length, height and depth of their necessity and importance?
What kind of soul winning would we do, if we understood the mercy in that Love, the breadth, length, height and depth of that mercy?
What kind of total forgiving would we be capable of, if we grasped the grace in that Love, what the breadth, length, height and depth of that grace was?
What sort of free would we be, if we knew the absolute freedom in that Love, the breadth, length, height and depth of total deliverance and redemption offered in that Love?
What things might we accomplish for His Kingdom, if we grasped the Power in that Love, the breadth, length, height and depth of the Power, given to us to do more and greater, as He said?
And what sort of compassion would we show to others, if we only knew the breadth, length, height, and depth of the compassion He shows to us daily?
Jesus compassion was so beautiful, wasn't it? He never said, "oh, get over it and chin up," He FELT for others- He felt what they felt, and offered comfort. He listened, and cared about what they were going through. He loved them.
Our emotions should extend to others. Even when we might be uncomfortable with others grief. Even when it might make us a little down to hear it. Even when it makes us cry...especially when it makes us cry.
We keep saying, "It's not about me, it's about others." That includes the pain of others, and letting God determine what they need. Maybe, they need someone else to feel their pain.
In that moment of feeling anothers pain, you are weak....and He can be strong in you. He can minister through you when you are weak with another's pain. You can cry out to Him and receive Love, and all it involves, for someone else.
So that they, through you, may come to know and grasp God's Love, the full breadth, length, height and depth of it. Amen
It must seem that I talk about me a lot in these sessions. But I know how God deals with me, I don't know how he deals with anyone else. I can't say, "you have to", or you oughtta", cause I don't know that.
So, friends, bear with me while I share yet another of my faux pas with you. (That's a fancy name for- 'oops, I goofed'.)
I was talking with someone the other day, we'll call this person "Sam". Sam has been going through some serious grief, and I can relate- I'm sure all of you can too. Loss from this life of someone you love is painful to say the least. Sam is grieving that kind of loss.
My immediate reaction was, "how can I help? What can I say?" I did the wrong thing to begin with and offered up platitudes like, "It will get better", and, "they're with God now". All very true, but not what Sam needed to hear.
At this moment, Sam hurt too much to hear those things. I was thinking in my perspective, not Sam's. I wanted to 'make things better', when that was not a possibility. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit intervened, (I heard Him shouting in my ear more like), and I was able to really listen to Sam.
After I shut up, and listened, I was able to feel that pain and grief. I could relate, having had it happen to me. But it was not a time for me to say something Sam could not receive. It wasn't a time for, "Yes, but-"
All I could do was listen and pray. Sam's hurt was still such a fresh wound, I KNEW how that felt. How, it hurts so bad, it'a all you can do to just breathe, let alone listen to others tell you it will be ok. A chunk of your life is gone, and some will tell you- "it's time to get over it and on with your life."
The rest of the time, I didn't offer any advice, except- take your time to greive. Mourn for your loss. Don't let anyone treat it as it's nothing, as if the person you miss was nothing.
There will come a time to compassionately lead Sam towards the Father. This day was not it. It took me realizing, it's not me who decides how long a person should mourn. How they shourld mourn. None of it is up to me.
Later, while praying again for Sam, God mentioned this scripture: That you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints [God's devoted people, the experience of that love] what is the breadth and length and height and depth [of it]; {Ephesians 3:18}
I thought, "great, Lord, thank You- I'll pray that for Sam." Immediately the Father said, "Not Sam, YOU." What? Me?
This was going to take a little thinking. Obviously, I had missed something here. What was it? Then God asked me,
"What would my children be like, if they came to know the breadth, length, height and depth of My Love?"
I spent 2 days with that scripture never far from me. I finally had Him talk to me about it. The Holy Spirit loves to reveal the Word. Here is what I understood Him to say:
What kind of people would we be, if we understood the Love of God, and all it entails? If we apprehended, or "got" it, and used it towards others? If we really came to know all that the Love held inside it, and the breadth, length, height and depth of those things?
What kind of prayers would we pray, if we realized the breadth, length, height and depth of their necessity and importance?
What kind of soul winning would we do, if we understood the mercy in that Love, the breadth, length, height and depth of that mercy?
What kind of total forgiving would we be capable of, if we grasped the grace in that Love, what the breadth, length, height and depth of that grace was?
What sort of free would we be, if we knew the absolute freedom in that Love, the breadth, length, height and depth of total deliverance and redemption offered in that Love?
What things might we accomplish for His Kingdom, if we grasped the Power in that Love, the breadth, length, height and depth of the Power, given to us to do more and greater, as He said?
And what sort of compassion would we show to others, if we only knew the breadth, length, height, and depth of the compassion He shows to us daily?
Jesus compassion was so beautiful, wasn't it? He never said, "oh, get over it and chin up," He FELT for others- He felt what they felt, and offered comfort. He listened, and cared about what they were going through. He loved them.
Our emotions should extend to others. Even when we might be uncomfortable with others grief. Even when it might make us a little down to hear it. Even when it makes us cry...especially when it makes us cry.
We keep saying, "It's not about me, it's about others." That includes the pain of others, and letting God determine what they need. Maybe, they need someone else to feel their pain.
In that moment of feeling anothers pain, you are weak....and He can be strong in you. He can minister through you when you are weak with another's pain. You can cry out to Him and receive Love, and all it involves, for someone else.
So that they, through you, may come to know and grasp God's Love, the full breadth, length, height and depth of it. Amen
