New Christian with Bipolar!
Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 3:25 pm
I have bipolar disorder, and I have recently become a Christian. I know, what do those things have to do with each other?!
Well, I've been very depressed lately, and while I never expected that becoming a Christian would take away my bipolar (although I know God could if He chose), I guess I'm just confused about the concept of depressed Christians! You know what I mean?
I have more peace and hope than before I was a Christian. I never think of suicide or anything. I know that God is with me through all my sadness. But I almost feel guilty for feeling depressed, but I can't seem to have any control over it. I give thanks all the time for all He has done for me.
I have come to the realization that I NEVER feel well. Ever. I have no clue what "normal people" feel like. I have no idea what normal would feel like. Even when I am not in a severe depression, I always have at least a tinge of depression, and usually more than that. I have a jittery feeling in my gut. A deep depression that is inside me that I can't get rid of, even if outwardly I am laughing or energetic.
The only times I have ever NOT had any depression inside me was when I've been manic. But that was short-lived and a false kind of happiness.
I am feeling in despair. I just go around and feel like crying to everyone I meet "Help me!" "Somebody help me!" I don't actually say that to anyone but my parents and God! But my parents can't help me, and I don't know what God wants me to do. Somebody help me!
Well, I've been very depressed lately, and while I never expected that becoming a Christian would take away my bipolar (although I know God could if He chose), I guess I'm just confused about the concept of depressed Christians! You know what I mean?
I have more peace and hope than before I was a Christian. I never think of suicide or anything. I know that God is with me through all my sadness. But I almost feel guilty for feeling depressed, but I can't seem to have any control over it. I give thanks all the time for all He has done for me.
I have come to the realization that I NEVER feel well. Ever. I have no clue what "normal people" feel like. I have no idea what normal would feel like. Even when I am not in a severe depression, I always have at least a tinge of depression, and usually more than that. I have a jittery feeling in my gut. A deep depression that is inside me that I can't get rid of, even if outwardly I am laughing or energetic.
The only times I have ever NOT had any depression inside me was when I've been manic. But that was short-lived and a false kind of happiness.
I am feeling in despair. I just go around and feel like crying to everyone I meet "Help me!" "Somebody help me!" I don't actually say that to anyone but my parents and God! But my parents can't help me, and I don't know what God wants me to do. Somebody help me!