Day 10 of MCFC Two by Two
Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:36 pmThis was a very hard study for me emotionally. They (my emotions) are so mixed up.
There have been many times when I've failed to forgive myself, even for things that I couldn't help or wasn't my fault. My abuse, for example. For a long time, I honestly felt that after I became 'of age,' I should've been able to stop it, and that because I didn't, it made me feel like a promiscuous person. I know now that I was wrong in my thinking.
Regarding the part about being the victim of a sin. I think I can identify with that whole paragraph. I feel like maybe that's partly the cause of so many of my health problems. Yet, I just don't feel I'm ready emotionally to forgive personally.
As for the levels of forgiveness, there are a couple that do fit. "You cease to feel resentment against an offender (whoever has sinned against you), but you really don't trust them anymore." and "You claim to forgive, but your relationship has never been quite the same with the person and never will be. You tolerate the offender as much and as you can bear to, because Jesus said to forgive. Sometimes you rarely speak, if ever again, and the relationship virtually ends after the so-called forgiveness. "
I want so much to put this in the past and leave it there. What is wrong with me that I can't seem to?
There have been many times when I've failed to forgive myself, even for things that I couldn't help or wasn't my fault. My abuse, for example. For a long time, I honestly felt that after I became 'of age,' I should've been able to stop it, and that because I didn't, it made me feel like a promiscuous person. I know now that I was wrong in my thinking.
Regarding the part about being the victim of a sin. I think I can identify with that whole paragraph. I feel like maybe that's partly the cause of so many of my health problems. Yet, I just don't feel I'm ready emotionally to forgive personally.
As for the levels of forgiveness, there are a couple that do fit. "You cease to feel resentment against an offender (whoever has sinned against you), but you really don't trust them anymore." and "You claim to forgive, but your relationship has never been quite the same with the person and never will be. You tolerate the offender as much and as you can bear to, because Jesus said to forgive. Sometimes you rarely speak, if ever again, and the relationship virtually ends after the so-called forgiveness. "
I want so much to put this in the past and leave it there. What is wrong with me that I can't seem to?
there is nothing wrong with you. You just still have some weeds to pull sis, that's all. Keep working at it, believe it or not I see you growing, don't give up. Keep fighting sis, keep on keeping on. You should be proud, you have finished step 10.